


Lately I've been thinking, I want you to be happier.

by ShinobiShan



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Many Avengers Cameos, Mental Health Issues, Not Canon Compliant, Panic Attacks, Peter and Wade do an oopsie and bond by accident, Slow Burn, Soul Bond
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-03
Updated: 2019-05-13
Packaged: 2019-09-06 07:53:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 49,761
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16828336
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShinobiShan/pseuds/ShinobiShan
Summary: Wade and Peter are close, but nobody really knew just how close, not even them.And somebody is going to have a lot of explaining to do about whatever the hell a 'soul-bond' is.





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this fic is taking inspiration from a bunch of Marvel sources, including the comic books and movies, so please don’t expect the timeline to make much sense to the canon in any way. I’m sorry, I'm a mess.
> 
> It's also kiiinda inspired in spirit by a soul-bonding fic I read ages ago, and I thought these two idiots would make the perfect pair for this story.
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoy! Happy reading~

Peter’s phone vibrated in his back pocket and he quickly juggled around the pile of books in his hands to grab it. He answered the phone without really looking at who was calling, not that it was even necessary to check because he only knew one person who would have set his ringtone to ‘Piece of Me’ by Britney Spears.

“Wade I’ve told you like a million times not to touch my phone.” Peter didn’t even bother to say hello.

“Aw but sweetums, I just wanted to remind you who you want a piece of every time I call.” Deadpool’s adoring voice poured through his speaker.

Peter rolled his eyes, fully aware that Wade couldn’t see them through the phone. “Yeeeeeah so, what do you want?”

Deadpool made a loud noise of fake outrage. “Do I really need a reason to call my favourite arachnid themed superhero and best buddy in the world?”

“I guess not. It’s just that your phone calls usually end with some misguided adventure and the distinct possibility of me being tied up in a warehouse somewhere.” Peter ducked into a small side alley to avoid any of their conversation being overheard.

“Well you know I’d be quite happy to tie you up in the comfort of your own home, but you seem to need the excuse of a mission, so who am I to say no.”

Peter snorted into the phone but chose to ignore the comment. “So, if you don’t have a real reason to call me, I’m going to assume that you’re bored, and if you’re bored that means you have free time, and if you have free time it means you can help me out with some patrols tonight, right?”

Deadpool gasped on the other side of the line. “Why Spidey, are you asking me to spend the night with you on the dark secluded rooftops of New York, just the two of us?”

“I don’t know how you manage to make a night sitting out in the freezing cold waiting for bad guys to try and kill us sound romantic, but somehow you always manage.” Peter tried to sound as exasperated as possible, only the grin on his face seemed to contradict his tone.

“It’s a talent. Plus, any night spent with you and that magnificent ass is romantic.”

“Seriously, we’ve been doing patrols together for like a year, I thought you’d be over this by now.” Peter shook his head, securing his books under his arm as they began to slip.

“Exactly, it’s been nearly a year and still nothing. I don’t even know your name yet, you’re so damn stingy. I bare my soul to you on a regular basis and I’m rewarded with nothing but mistrust and secrecy.” Wade let out a very convincing heartbroken sigh.

“Yeah yeah whatever, are you in or not?”

“Duh. See you in the usual spot around 21:00? You bring the heroics, I’ll bring the katanas and comic relief.”

“See ya.” Peter let out another chuckle as he hung up, sliding the phone back into his pocket and readjusting the books in his arms.

He’d have to haul ass if he wanted to make it in time for dinner with aunt May, and still get home after to grab his suit and meet Wade for patrol. Juggling college, life, and being Spider-Man was kind of a bitch sometimes, but he made it work.

It still caught him off guard how much he enjoyed spending time with the ex-merc, and current pain in his ass. When Wade had decided to stop ‘professionally un-aliving people’ for a living, he had also decided to adopt Spider-Man as his full-time mentor, which meant that over the last 10 months they had been spending increasing amounts of time together.

At first it had been unbearably annoying, and Peter had almost enlisted the help of Dr Strange in order to create some kind of magical muzzle that would stop the constant onslaught of ass-themed puns. But as the months went on Peter had come to learn a lot more about Wade Wilson himself, not just as Deadpool, and slowly but surely it stopped feeling like he was taking care of an untrained Labrador puppy, and more like he was getting to fight bad guys on a daily basis with a good friend.

He’d be lying if he said he wasn’t aware how uncomfortable the Avengers were with his relationship with the former killer for hire, and Tony had warned him on more than one occasion that nothing good could come of it, but Peter was a big boy now, and he could make his own decisions.

***

It was around 21:45 when Peter began to worry about Deadpool’s whereabouts. He definitely wasn’t the most reliable person in the universe, but he wasn’t usually one to be late for a meeting with Spider-Man

Peter was about to call him when he suddenly began to feel a weird tingling sensation in the pit of his stomach. It wasn’t his Spidey sense, although that was now kind of screaming at him too, and before he could really realise what was happening, he was swinging across town in a direction he wasn’t entirely familiar with. 

He didn’t really understand what was compelling him to go this way, but it was a feeling he couldn’t seem to fight against. As he swung closer to an unfamiliar part of town the feeling became almost overwhelming, and he dropped down behind a dilapidated old building to catch his breath. He was just trying to get his bearings when he heard a gunshot coming from inside the building, followed by muffled shouting.

He immediately pushed the strange feeling aside and made his way quietly through an already broken window above him. He took a minute to survey the area, counting about six armed men all aiming towards something just out of his line of sight. The focus of their aim was currently hidden behind a ceiling beam, and just as he was manoeuvring around to see who was in trouble, he heard a familiar voice echo through the room.

“Now now boys, I’m all for group play, but six against one does seem a little unfair.”

Peter quickly climbed across the beam, silently swinging himself onto the wall directly above where Deadpool was currently being cornered. The merc was covered in blood and seemed to be missing part of his left arm, but he was still holding a katana in one hand, so Peter knew he wasn’t really in any immediate danger.

Not that Deadpool was ever really in danger, being immortal and all, but Peter couldn’t simply stand by and watch as his friend was riddled with bullets. He flipped through the air, landing behind the group of thugs and immediately webbed three of them to the wall. The rest instantly started shooting in his direction, but he managed to swing himself behind a particularly large cement ceiling beam, grabbing Deadpool under his arm as he went.

“My hero.” Deadpool swooned as they landed in the rafters. He tried to clasp his hands under his chin like some kind of damsel in distress, but the gesture was kind of ineffective with only one and a half arms.

“Do I even want to know how you got yourself into this situation?” Peter gave him a questioning look that he knew was mostly dampened by his mask.

“Hey I swear this wasn’t my fault, they came after me. I was just on my way to meet you, minding my own innocent Pooly business, and these guys threw a sack over my head and hauled me into the back of a van. It was actually very 1980’s cop drama, I was surprised I didn’t wake up tied to a chair with someone pointing an overly bright light into my eyes. Someone really needs to talk to them about updating their kidnapping tactics.”

Peter rolled his eyes under the mask, only half listening at this point because the men were still shooting at them. He waited for a lull in the gunfire before peeking his head out and webbing another two of them together, letting out a small laugh as they toppled to the floor.

The remaining man seemed to be making a break for it now, but Peter quickly swung down, heading him off and webbing the door shut in front of him. He quickly made short work of the last thug and did a final check to make sure they were all secure before swinging back up into the rafters to check on Wade.

The red and black clad man was still sitting comfortably on the concrete beam, swinging his legs off the side as he let out a low whistle in Peter’s direction. “Damn I love watching you work, there can’t possibly be a more majestic sight than that ass in motion. Thanks for the front row seats by the way, the view from up here was perfect.”

Peter snorted and immediately grabbed Deadpool by the ankle, pulling him off the beam and lowering them both to the floor. He dropped Deadpool to the ground a couple of feet higher than was strictly necessary, and the merc let out a pained moan as his head made contact with the hard floor.

“Hey, that hurt you know. Just because I can regenerate doesn’t mean I don’t have feelings you meanie.”

“You’ll live, unfortunately.” Peter helped Wade to his feet and they both headed towards the exit.

Just as they were about to leave Peter noticed the missing part of Wade’s arm on the ground and he nodded towards it. “You need that?”

“Nah.” Deadpool shrugged. “The new one has already started growing, no point in having a spare.”

They exited the building and Peter quickly ran over to the nearest public phone to call the police. After which he wandered back over to Deadpool.

“So, you’re okay right?” Peter knew there was no real reason for him to worry, but that didn’t really stop him from doing it anyway.

“Yeah I’m good, thanks for saving the day there Spiderbabe.” Despite his jokes, Peter could tell that Wade was a little shaken up from the event.

“No problem, any ideas who they were?” The pair of them began heading back towards a more familiar, less murdery part of town.

“No idea, they hadn’t gotten to the explanation part before I got bored and dislocated my shoulder to slip out of the ropes. The idiots didn’t even bother to hide my weapons, complete amateur job if you ask me.” Deadpool shook his head in judgement.

Peter considered this for a minute. “Well, I don’t like the fact that there are random groups of thugs out there just waiting to kidnap you, but they didn’t seem to do much damage so I’m sure the police can deal with it.”

“Aw Spidey, I didn’t know you cared.” Deadpool knocked his shoulder into Peter’s affectionately.

“Well I’d say that not wanting someone to be kidnapped and murdered was basic human decency, but yeah, I guess you’ve grown on me you big idiot.” Peter smiled softly, glad that his mask was hiding it.

Deadpool was quiet for a little while before he finally spoke again. “How did you know where I was anyway? I figured you’d have gone off on patrol without me when I didn’t show up.”

Peter was about to answer when he suddenly remembered the strange and urgent sensation he’d felt that had led him to the building. It was something similar to his Spidey sense, but at the same time it felt more focused. Like instead of just alerting him to general danger, it seemed to be almost pinpointing a specific place, or in this case a specific person.

“Just had a feeling.” Peter said, not wanting to try and explain what he’d felt when he didn’t entirely understand it himself.

“Hmm.” Deadpool hummed in contemplation. “It’s really weird because right before you showed up I was just thinking ‘Damn it would be nice if Spidey were here’, and then you just were. I’d say my prayers had been answered, but we both know the angels I’ve got looking out for me definitely don’t take their jobs seriously.”

“Idiot.” Peter smiled, despite how confused he still felt about the situation.

“Anyway, I think one rescue mission is enough for tonight, what do you say to pizza and a Russell Crowe marathon?”

Deadpool gasped in excitement and Peter smirked at how expressive his mask could be. “Gladiator, Master and Commander, and A Beautiful Mind. In that order exactly, or I’m out.”

“Like I’d argue with that. You grab the pizza and I’ll meet you at your place.” Peter took off running and just before he swung himself up into the rooftops he heard Wade yelling behind him.

“You’re sending the guy with multiple open wounds to get the food? That’s cold baby boy, real cold.”

Peter laughed out loud as he felt the cool night air rushing past him. He knew he’d have to sit down and seriously think about what had happened earlier, but for now it was pizza and Pool time, and that sounded a lot more exciting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this was my first dabble into Spideypool writing, even though I've been a fan of the pairing for fucking ages. I hope you enjoyed it!
> 
> I expect this fic will become quite a bit more serious in the future, but I'm going to start things off light.
> 
> I'd love to hear any thoughts and opinions you have, so feel free to drop me a comment!


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow thank you so much for the amazing response to this fic so far, I'm really happy you're enjoying it!
> 
> It's pretty freezing here in Korea, so it's really motivating me to stay indoors and write.
> 
> Anyway, onward with the next chapter.

“Wade?”

“Yes, love monkey?” 

“What are you doing?”

“Making vegan Bolognese? It’s Jamie Oliver’s recipe so you know its 10/10. Although the dried Porcini mushrooms were an absolute bitch to find.” Deadpool said over his shoulder as he continued to stir the pot in front of him.

“Okay…but are you aware that you currently have a very large knife sticking out of your back?”

It was a few nights after the warehouse incident and Peter had let himself in through Wade’s living room window for their weekly installment of ‘What the fuck is Deadpool making tonight’. This particular event started after Wade had spent a full weekend binging every episode of the Great British Bake-off and had called Peter over at 3 a.m. to try his lemon-drizzle cake. They had both agreed that the cake was good, but that if Wade didn’t want to play the anatomical version of ‘hide the cake knife’, they’d only be trying his creations at a reasonable hour. 

It had very quickly turned into a regular occurrence for them, and the last few installments had all been vegan themed because, as Wade had put it, ‘If I’m going to stop unaliving people then I can’t forget about the cows too’. This was the first time however that Peter had arrived to find any kitchenware lodged inside Deadpool’s actual person. The table yes, the walls definitely, but shoulder blades were a first.

“Oh that? I slipped.” Wade said in a way that was far too casual for someone with a gaping wound in his back.

“And are you planning to take it out anytime soon?” Peter walked over and gave the knife a gentle flick, earning a pained grunt from Wade.

“In a second, after I’ve deglazed this pan and added the stock, then we just have to sit back and let the magic hap...” Wade stopped mid-sentence to yell in pain as Peter yanked the knife out in one swift motion.

“Sweet Mary and Joseph warn a guy next time, I’ll have you know I can be very dangerous when startled.” Wade pointed menacingly at Peter with a wooden spoon, the bright red Hello Kitty apron he was wearing somewhat diminishing the threat.

“Sorry, I thought it would be best to do it like a band-aid.” Peter chuckled as he dropped the knife into the sink.

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you enjoyed causing me pain.” Wade rolled his shoulder a few times before turning back to the pot.

“It’s a hobby.” Peter smiled, shrugging nonchalantly.

“Oh ho, now I know why you chose the initials S and M. Kinky.” Wade turned around again to give Peter what he imagined to be a mischievous look underneath his mask.

“Get back to stirring or I’ll show you some real pain.” Peter knew he shouldn’t encourage the man, but it was just too fun.

“Promises, promises. There’s peppermint tea on the table by the way, help yourself.” Wade busied himself with some intense liquid pouring and waved towards the dinner table with his free hand.

“Seriously, what are you?” Peter laughed as he made himself comfortable in a kitchen chair.

“Just the man of your dreams Spidey boy.”

Despite himself Peter smiled into his tea, the steam causing some condensation on the rolled-up bit of his mask.

They ate together in companionable silence once the food was finally ready, a silence that was only broken by Deadpool’s thinly veiled compliments towards his own cooking.

“Fuck me, I’m good.” Wade proclaimed loudly after the last mouthful. Okay maybe not that thinly veiled after all.

Wade was watching Peter like an over excited puppy as he finished his last few mouthfuls, waiting patiently for his verdict.

“Well, colour me impressed DP, that was delicious.” Peter leaned back in his chair feeling very satisfied and kind of wishing he was wearing some comfy sweats instead of his Spidey suit.

“I mean obviously, you can’t go wrong with the naked chef.” Deadpool grabbed the plates and dumped them unceremoniously into the sink next to the still bloody knife

“Please tell me you’re referring to Jamie Oliver’s nickname and not your future plans to cook in the nude?” Peter had a sudden image of Deadpool in nothing but his mask and apron, and quickly forced it back into which ever pit of his psyche it had crawled out of.

“Only if you ask nicely.” Wade smirked at him, his mask still rolled up from dinner. “Xbox time, yes?” He asked as he was already walking over to the couch.

“Sure, but no sulking when I beat you this time okay?”

“Come on that was only one time, and you cheated.”

“Yeah right, if by cheated you mean completely demolished you with my superior skill and intellect.” Peter flopped down next to Wade on the comfortable old couch, grabbing a controller and settling in for some good stress relief.

***

They’d been playing for about an hour when Deadpool had decided that Peter was definitely cheating again. He tried to distract Peter by poking him in the side with his free hand, but nothing could sway the web-slinger from victory.

“Wade I’m going to web your hands together and leave you hanging upside down from your balcony window if you don’t stop that.” Peter said without looking away from the TV.

“Oh yeah, well what if I do this.” Deadpool made a fake lunge for the rolled-up corner of Peter’s mask, pretending like he was going to pull it off. But Peter was too quick for him, pulling his head out of the way and leaving Wade’s un-gloved hand to fall against his bare neck.

Instantly Peter was overwhelmed by an intense flood of emotions. He was caught so off-guard by the sensation that he zoned out for a second, leaving his character completely vulnerable to Wade’s next attack. The ex-merc let out a yell of triumph, turning towards Peter for a well-deserved gloat, but he stopped immediately as he saw Peter’s mouth curled into an expression he’d never seen before, his entire body rigidly tensed as if he was in pain.

“Spidey? Come on it’s just a game, I promise I’ll let you win the next round.” Deadpool tilted his head in confusion, not knowing quite how to handle the sudden change in atmosphere.

Peter was silent for a few more seconds before he suddenly turned towards Wade in panic, dropping his controller on the floor. 

“Wade, are you okay?” Peter asked urgently, leaning closer to him. 

“What do you mean am I okay? You’re the one acting a little loopy here Spidey.” Wade didn’t bother to hide the confusion in his voice.

“But…you’re in pain Wade.” Peter reached forward as if wanting to touch Deadpool’s face, but dropped his hand at the last second. 

“What? Do you mean from the knife earlier? Don’t you worry your pretty little head about that, it’s all healed up by now.” Deadpool spoke softly, but he had leaned away slightly from Peter’s advancing form.

“No, I can…I can feel it.”

“Ooookay, well clearly those weren’t just Porcini mushroom I used in the Bolognese. Maybe it’s bedtime for little spiders.”

Peter frowned and opened his mouth to say something, but he didn’t manage to get a single word out before a blinding pain shot through his temple. He closed his eyes and grabbed his head, trying not to move in fear of making the pain worse.

He could hear Deadpool’s concerned voice somewhere in the back of his mind, but he couldn’t seem to focus on it through the pain hammering against his skull. It wasn’t until Wade grabbed his hand that the pain started to subside, and he managed to slowly open his eyes again.

“What’s going on Spidey, are you okay?” Wade started to remove his hand from Peter’s, but he reflexively tightened his grip.

“Just, give me a second. Please.” Peter took a few deep breaths, trying to calm himself down.

Deadpool sat silently beside him, twitching uncomfortably every now and then, but never letting go of Peter’s hand.

It took Peter a couple of minutes to gather himself, and as soon as the pain had subsided, he could feel the real confusion and embarrassment of the situation setting in. He immediately removed his hand from Wade’s and stood up, walking over to the window.

“I’m sorry, I think I might be getting sick or something. I’d better get out of here.” He already had one leg out of the window as Deadpool spoke up in reply.

“Webs I might not be the smartest cookie in the box, but you probably shouldn’t be swinging around right now. I could call someone if you want? Maybe Iron Dude could send you a private jet or something equally flashy.” Wade sounded a lot more serious than Peter had ever heard him before.

“No seriously I’ll be fine, you don’t need to tell anyone. I’ll see you around okay?” And before he could hear anymore arguments, he’d flipped off the balcony and swung himself a couple of buildings away.

Once he reached a secluded rooftop he stopped and took a few more deep breaths. He pulled off his mask and ran a hand over his face, trying to figure out what the hell had just happened.

It was like for a second his Spidey sense had been amplified by a million, and the only thing he could feel was an overwhelming urge to protect Wade. He didn’t know how, but he just knew that the other man was in pain. 

It didn’t make any fucking sense though because Deadpool had been sitting beside him happily playing Xbox, he was fine, he wasn’t in any danger. 

Peter knew he should probably ask someone more qualified at life about the whole thing, maybe like Bruce or Dr Strange. But ignoring it and hoping it wouldn’t happen again seemed like a much better idea, so he did that.

***  
Peter definitely wasn’t avoiding Wade. He was a grown adult who dealt with his problems through healthy means like openness and communication. He was just busy.

Yep, just really busy with school and Spider-man stuff, definitely not avoiding Wade.

He was currently sitting in the library trying to write a paper, but after staring at the same sentence for the better part of ten minutes he decided to give up. He was just packing up his things when his phone vibrated in his pocket, and as if it had been summoned through Peter’s thoughts alone there was a text from Deadpool waiting for him.

_Received 16:03:  
Spiderbabe I haven’t seen you all week, where are you?_

_Received 16:03:  
You know I’m needy, you can’t just leave me like this._

_Received 16:03:  
If you don’t reply soon I will absolutely go out of my way to find the most dangerous situation this city has to offer and run in headfirst with no regards for my own personal safety._

_Received 16:04:  
And let me tell you, you do not want that on your conscience. _

Oh good, so it looked like Wade had also made the very mature decision of completely ignoring what had happened. Peter found himself smiling despite his previous thoughts, deciding quickly that if Deadpool wasn’t going to bring up what happened then maybe it would be okay to talk to him.

_Sent 16:05:  
Do you seriously have nothing better to do than to harass me?_

_Received 16:06:  
It’s what I live for. But I actually do need your help with something._

_Sent 16:07:  
If you’re going to ask me to help color co-ordinate your Croc collection again, I’m out._

_Received 16:08:  
First of all, you’re missing out because it’s literally like walking on clouds. And secondly no, this is actual grown-up business. I have a lead on those guys who tried to Pool-nap me the other day and I want to check it out._

_Sent 16:09:  
Hmm okay, where are we meeting?”_

_Received 16:09:  
Same Stock Creepy Thug Hideout™ as before? Around 20:00ish?_

_Sent 16:10:  
Got it, see you later._

Peter had just sent off his last message and was about to shove his phone back into his pocket when it suddenly began to ring. He answered it without thinking assuming it had to be Deadpool.

“What do you want now Wade?”

“Um nope, try again kid.” The confused voice of Tony Stark came through the speaker. 

“Oh shit sorry Tony, I mean Mr Stark, I mean Sir.”

“Cool it Pete, it’s okay. Expecting a call from Wilson were you?” Tony sounded unimpressed, even through the phone.

“Please Mr Stark, I don’t want to hear another lecture about why I shouldn’t be hanging around with him. He’s my friend and I…”

“Okay okay I get it, I’m not calling to lecture you. Do you think you could stop by the tower this evening? We may need your help with a little project, it shouldn’t take too long.”

“Umm…” Peter knew he had just promised to meet Deadpool, but he could probably just meet up with him after the Avenger’s business if it wasn’t going to be long.

“Yeah sure, I’ll be there.”

“Great, see you in a bit kid.”

Peter hung up the phone and shot Deadpool one last text before gathering his things and exiting the library.

_Sent 16:17:  
I might be a little late tonight, don’t do anything stupid._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is Deadpool going to do something stupid anyway? Almost certainly.
> 
> Also the Spideypool banter is just way too much fun to write.
> 
> As always please leave any thoughts or comments you might have about this fic, I always love hearing them!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo you guys still alive after the Avengers trailer? 
> 
> No? 
> 
> Cool me neither…
> 
> The first part of this chapter is just gratuitous fluff, but I needed it.
> 
> But that also means this chapter is extra-long, so yay for that. Also expect things to get a little more serious from here on out.
> 
> Enjoy!

The more Peter thought about it, the more sending a text to Wade telling him not to do anything stupid sounded like the worst idea anyone had ever had, and he couldn’t shake the feeling of discomfort that had settled into the pit of his stomach the entire ride over to Stark Tower.

Of course Tony had sent the most unnecessarily flashy car he owned to pick him up, a Stark original creation Peter had presumed, and as they neared the building he began to feel increasingly uneasy. The only thing currently preventing him from leaping from the moving vehicle and swinging off into the sunset was the thought of being lectured by the world’s mightiest naggers.

Eventually though they reached their destination and Peter hurried out, glancing down at his watch and noting that it was only around 18:30, which gave him plenty of time before he had to meet up with Wade. He took the elevator up to the top floor, and almost immediately after the doors had opened he realised that he probably should have asked Tony for more details on this so called ‘project’.

The entire room was filled with a rather wide variety of brightly coloured Christmas decorations, amongst which he could see a number of the Avengers busy with different projects. He’d only managed about two steps into the room, trying to understand just exactly what he was looking at, when he was suddenly launched sideways into a large leather sofa beside him. Luckily his reflexes caught him at the last second, and he looked up to see the mountain of rippling Asgardian muscle which had apparently just tried to give him a friendly hello ‘pat’ on the shoulder. 

“Spider child thank Odin you’re here, we are in need of aid.” Thor greeted him with a huge smile. 

“Um, nice to see you too Thor. What…what’s going on here?” Peter steadied himself and walked over to where the god of thunder was standing.

“Peter!” Tony suddenly appeared before Thor could answer him. “Just in time, we need your help over here.” Mr Stark grabbed his arm and started leading him through the chaos around them. 

As they walked across the room Peter noticed the Cap and Black Widow sitting around a coffee table cutting out paper snowflakes, while next to them Sam and Bucky were arguing about the correct order in which to string the popcorn and cranberries.

“It should be popcorn, popcorn, popcorn, cranberry, cranberry.” Bucky said with absolute confidence.

“Nah you’re insane, it’s popcorn, popcorn, cranberry, popcorn, popcorn.” Sam argued back, tossing a kernel into his mouth for emphasis.

Bruce was quietly unpacking a box of baubles and surveying the chaos anxiously, while Dr Strange stared in bewilderment at a mountain of tangled Christmas lights.

“Not even the Ancient One could untangle this unholy mess.”

Before he could even comment on what he was seeing, Tony brought them to a stop in front of the most ridiculously massive Christmas tree Peter had ever seen. It had to be about 10 feet tall, and Peter had to crane his neck to see the top.

“Beautiful isn’t it.” Tony said with pride. “Took both Cap and Thor to carry it in.”

“Uh yeah, it’s a nice tree...” Peter said in confusion, still not fully comprehending what was going on.

“Now what I’m going to need you to do is to take that star over there, scale the wall behind the tree, and put it right at the top for me.” Tony gestured towards a massive gold star that was sitting on a table next to them.

Peter looked at the star, then at the tree, and finally back at Tony. 

“Mr Stark, did you ask me to come here just to put the star on top of the Christmas tree?”

“Not just the star kid, we’re going to need you to start the lights up there and decorate the top section.”

Peter’s mouth fell open in disbelief. “Are you telling me that’s the only reason you called me here?”

“Well yeah, you’re the only one with enough dexterity to reach the top of the tree without somehow smashing it to pieces. I was going to use some boosters to fly up there, but Clint pointed out that they might set the tree on fire. And everyone else around here has dumb super strength, so there was no way in hell I was going to let them near my priceless antique star.”

“But…you have a literal wizard here. A wizard! He’s just over there detangling the lights, why couldn’t he just levitate it up there or something?”

Tony opened his mouth to respond, but closed it almost immediately. The look on his face suggested to Peter that he hadn’t even considered that.

“Can you do that?” Tony whispered to Stephen, throwing him a sideways glance.

Stephen didn’t even grace him with an answer, he just rolled his eyes and went back to work.

“I suggested a ladder.” Clint shouted from somewhere behind them, and Peter could practically hear the smirk on the archer’s face.

“Shut it Barton.” Tony slowly looked back at Peter with a guilty smile. “But obviously we also wanted you here as part of the festivities. Fury thought it might be good for team building.”

“Mmhmm, well I know that there are no aliens currently attacking earth, or someone trying to destroy the universe, so you guys get to take some time off. But some of us take a more active roll in our communities so if you’ll excuse me.”

Peter wasn’t sure why he was acting with such hostility towards Tony. On any normal day he would have jumped at the chance to spend time with the Avengers, but right now the only thing he could think of was going to meet Wade.

Tony obviously noticed how uncharacteristic this reaction was for Peter, and he narrowed his eyes slightly in suspicion.

“Are you okay Peter? You know if you’re in trouble or need help with something you can ask us.”

“No I’m fine, I just have some thing to do, that’s all.” Peter tried to sound a bit more casual, but Tony wasn’t buying it.

“Things to do with Wilson I presume.” 

“Yeah, so what if it is?” Peter bristled with a need to defend Deadpool in his absence.

“Peter, I don’t think I’ve made any secret about how we feel about you teaming up with him, he’s not exactly a good influence.”

“Seriously? You promised you weren’t going to lecture me. I don’t know how many times he has to prove to you all that he’s changed.” Peter was well aware that everyone in the room was now listening to them.

“Come on Tony, Peter’s right. Deadpool’s a good guy. Yeah he’s a little overenthusiastic in the stabbing department sometimes, but who isn’t.” Clint appeared at Tony’s shoulder, trying to diffuse some of the tension.

“Indeed.” Came Thor’s booming voice from across the room. “His skill with a blade is almost unmatched, and I’ve never met another being who can regrow their own limbs quite so quickly. It is truly impressive.”

Peter was thankful for their intervention, and gave Tony a look that said ‘see, I told you’.

“Look kid, I’m not saying he’s an evil guy or something, I just worry about you getting too close to him.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

Tony took a deep breath and sighed wearily.

“Nothing. Just…be careful okay? We just want you to be safe.”

Peter softened slightly at these words, knowing that Tony was only trying to look out for him. Afterall, the man knew a thing or two about broken relationships, and Peter couldn’t be upset with him for trying to save him from the same kind of hurt. Him and Steve were on reasonably good terms now, but the damage Sokovia had done would never be completely repaired.

“I know Mr Stark, thank you. All of you.” Peter gave them a small smile. “Now let’s get that star up there, shall we?”

***

It was about two hours later when a small tug of anxiety told Peter that it was time to leave Stark Tower. He had got kind of caught up in the festivities and had spent way too long arguing with Sam over the appropriate tinsel to bauble ratios for the tree. And then Scott Lang had shown up with donuts and cinnamon lattes for everyone and before he knew it, it was already 20:30.

On his way to the elevator he had spotted Bruce sitting quietly in the corner surrounded by a stack of Christmas cards, and he decided that now was as good a time as any to ask the scientist about the strange feelings he’d been having.

“Dr Banner, can I ask you something?”

Bruce gave him a nod and a soft smile, gesturing for him to sit down. “What’s up kid?”

“Umm…” Peter realised he probably should have gathered his thoughts a little better before trying to explain the whole thing to someone else.

“Well, do you think it’s possible for my Spider sense to become more…enhanced?”

Bruce immediately perked up at the sound of a science related question, dropping the cute penguin shaped card he was holding.

“Hmm, well I suppose it would be possible for it to strengthen over time. Or maybe you’re just getting better at focusing and controlling it. Why do you ask?”

“Well actually, this is kind of the opposite of that. Well okay no, it isn’t, but…I don’t really know how to explain it. Like, it’s more focused, but it’s not me controlling it. It’s like it’s linked to a certain place, or a certain person. I don’t really know.”

Bruce’s face changed to an expression that Peter couldn’t quite place. 

“Could you give me an example maybe?”

Peter was hesitant to tell him that this had anything to do with Wade, but he knew that Bruce would probably be a lot more rational about it than anyone else.

“Well, like the other night Deadpool and I were supposed to meet up for a patrol, but he was late. So I was going to call him to see where he was, but before I could I felt this like overwhelming urge to move. I couldn’t really do anything about it, so I just followed the feeling and it led me straight to him. Even though I had no way of knowing he was there. Weird right?”

Bruce was looking at him with increasing concern as he spoke, and by the time Peter had finished he was visibly anxious.

“Have you told Tony about this?”

“No?” Peter was confused. “I just thought my Spidey sense was acting up, and you’d know better than Tony about radioactive power manifestations.”

“Right, right, of course.” Bruce nodded slowly. “Look I think it would be a good idea to do a couple of tests, I could…”

But before Bruce could finish Peter’s hand shot involuntarily to his phone, and he pulled it out of his pocket seconds before it began to ring. He didn’t need to read the screen to see who it was, and he answered in an instant.

“Wade, are you okay?”

“Well, yes and no.” Wade whispered into the phone. “I think I might have done something stupid.”

“What’s new?” Peter snorted, almost unaware that he had already started walking towards the exit.

“Well I was going to wait for you, but I got bored and decided to get a little jump start on the investigating. The good news is that it turns out these guys are genuinely just your run of the mill gang, no evil overlord, no special powers, nothing.”

“And the bad news?” Peter turned to wave a quick goodbye to everyone in the room, ignoring their looks of confusion at his sudden departure.

“The bad news is that despite all of this it didn’t magically make their grenades any less effective, and I’m currently sans most of my lower half. Could you maybe like call me an Uber or…?”

“I’ll be there in a second, don’t move.” Peter was already halfway down in the elevator.

“Trust me I’m not going anywhere, babe. But you don’t even know where I…” But Peter had already hung up the phone, running out of Stark Tower as soon as the doors slide open and into a side alley. He swung himself up into the rooftops, and barely remembered to pull on his mask in his rush to get to Wade. The rest of his suit would have to wait.

***

It wasn’t long before Peter reached the abandoned old building, but instead of heading directly inside he instinctively dropped down into a dirty backstreet behind a neighbouring building. He could see a fresh trail of blood leading behind some old boxes, and he immediately shoved them aside to reveal an exhausted looking Deadpool. Well, what was left of him anyway.

“That was quick, and you’re in skinny jeans. Definitely a 5-star rating from me.” Deadpool smiled at him, an expression he could actually see considering that most of his mask had been singed off.

Peter did a quick recon of Wade’s injuries, noting that almost his entire left leg was missing, and the right seemed to be jutting out at an alarming angle.

“Yeah I’m trying a new look. These pants have absolutely no range of motion though, so I don’t think it’s going to work out.”

“Pity, I’ll have to file this mental image under ‘limited edition’ then. It’ll fit in well next to that time I saw you in nothing but your mask and my collector’s edition Spider-Man bathrobe.” Deadpool quipped as Peter moved towards him.

By now he’d seen Wade at varying stages of injury throughout their time together, but it always surprised him how the man could still joke around like that while he was missing a limb.

“Yeah well, I told you not to spy on me. And that’s the last time I ever showered at your place, so who’s the real loser here?”

He bent down to slide an arm behind Wade’s back and huffed a little as he pulled them both to their feet. Once upright he adjusted them so that Wade had his arm slung over his shoulder for support, while he wrapped his own arm around DP’s waist. It was tough to get a good grip on the blood-soaked material, and as Peter was moving his hand around to find the best spot it fell over a piece of bare skin where the suit had been burned away in the explosion.

Instantly he felt a crippling pain throughout his entire body, and his knees buckled underneath him, sending them both toppling to the floor. He could vaguely hear Deadpool calling his name somewhere in the back of his mind, and with his last shred of consciousness he registered that Wade was calling him Peter.

***

“Wade!” Was the first thing out of Peter’s mouth as he shot up in pure panic.

Immediately there was a calming hand on his shoulder, and someone was pushing him gently backwards against a soft mattress.

“Woah there tiger, take it easy.” Wade’s low voice from somewhere near his right ear immediately calmed him, and he relaxed back into the bed. His heart was still beating a hundred miles a minute, and he frantically turned his head towards the source of the voice himself.

Deadpool was a lot less blood-stained than the last time he had seen him, and Peter noticed that not only was he in a new suit, but that his legs were also healed.

“Wade, you’re okay.” He said, mostly just needing to reassure himself of that fact.

“Yeah I’m okay, but what about you my little fainting fancy? You scared the shit out of me.” Deadpool had his usual joking air about him, but Peter could tell he was definitely concerned.

“I don’t know what happened. I just remember a lot of pain and then nothing.” Peter slowly pushed himself up in bed, taking note of his surroundings for the first time. “Where are we anyway?”

Deadpool looked away nervously before squeaking out a very quiet “Avengers HQ”.

Peter immediately sat up straighter. 

“How the hell did we get here?”

Deadpool was quiet for a second, before he turned back to face Peter.

“I didn’t know what to do Webs, you really scared me. I couldn’t exactly carry you out of there myself, so I had to call someone. Stark seemed like the most logical option.” 

The concern in Deadpool’s voice cut straight through to Peter’s heart, and he found himself reaching for the ex-merc’s wrist, wrapping his hand around it tightly.

“I’m sorry. I’m okay.”

The pair sat in silence for a few minutes, Peter’s hand never leaving Wade’s wrist, and eventually he felt like he had to break the quiet.

“To be honest I’m a little surprised they let you stay here. I can only imagine what Tony thought when he found me unconscious with you.” Peter smiled just thinking about it.

“Well I didn’t really have any choice, now did I?” A voice suddenly sounded from the doorway, and the pair immediately turned to see Iron Man himself standing there.

“Mr Stark.” Peter immediately dropped Wade’s wrist, but Tony’s eyes automatically followed the movement.

A look of frustration crossed his face and he shot Wade a brief glare before he walked over to Peter, settling his face with a much softer expression.

“How are you feeling kid?”

Peter immediately turned to face him, instinctively using himself as a barrier between him and Wade.

“I’m fine I think, I still don’t really know what happened. But before you say anything, it wasn’t Wade’s fault okay.” Peter wanted to avoid any conflict before it occurred.

“I know, but I warned you not to get too close to him, didn’t I? I told you you were going to get hurt.”

“He didn’t do anything Tony! I think there’s something wrong with me, I asked Dr Banner about it and he…”

“Yeah, he told me.” Tony cut him off before he could finish.

“Look,” Tony sighed deeply before sitting on the edge of Peter’s bed. “What’s happening to you, this isn’t some kind of side effect from your powers, this is something different.”

Peter frowned in confusion, as he heard Wade shift around behind him.

“You’ve…Jesus Peter how could you be so reckless. You bonded with Deadpool! Of all the people you could have bonded with it had to be him?”.

“What the hell are you talking about? What do you mean I bonded with him?” Peter could feel his heart rate rising as he looked frantically between Tony and Wade. He raised a hand to his face, and for the first time he realised that he wasn’t wearing his mask. 

He immediately looked at Wade in panic, feeling tears springing to his eyes.

“I’m sorry Peter, it wasn’t my decision.” Wade tried to reassure him in a soft voice, but he couldn’t seem to meet Peter’s gaze.

“I don’t understand, how do you know my name? What happened?” Peter’s mind was frantically trying to fill in the gaps of the situation, but all he could think about was how much he wanted to touch Wade.

As if he knew what Peter was thinking Wade slowly pulled off a glove and took Peter’s hand in his own. Peter immediately felt a lot calmer than he had before, and he grounded himself in the feeling of Wade’s rough skin against his own.

At this point the door opened again, and the unmistakable presence of Dr Stephen Strange filled the room.

“Well I see you did a great job of not working up the patient there Stark, well done.” Dr Strange said as he swept past Tony to place a hand on Peter’s wrist.

He seemed like he was just checking Peter’s pulse, but from what he knew of the wizard’s powers he suspected there was a lot more to it than that.

“Well it seems like everything is still stable here. You’re still doing your part I trust Mr Wilson?” Dr Strange looked at Wade who gave him a small nod.

Peter felt a faint jolt of anxiety pulse through his body, and he tightened his grip around Wade’s fingers.

“Can someone please just tell me what’s going on?” Peter pleaded in a small voice.

The other three men all looked at each other and Tony let out an audible sigh.

“Buckle up kid, you’re about to learn some shit that makes the existence of fucking thunder gods and time wizards seem normal.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well here we go, things are going to get a bit more complicated for our boys from here on out.
> 
> As always I would love to here any thoughts and opinions you might have!
> 
> Also I'd like to say a huge thank you for the amazing response this fic has gotten so far, you're all so lovely.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Literally I can't thank you guys enough for the wonderful response to this fic, you're all too nice.
> 
> This chapter was...interesting to write. But I think some explanation was definitely necessary for our poor boys.
> 
> I hope you enjoy!

Peter didn't like the way the three men around his bed were looking at him, and he especially didn't like the way Dr Strange had sighed and said, "I'll fetch Dr Banner" before walking out of the room.

By now he was mostly used to the fact that the Avengers still treated him like a child even though he was already 23. And he understood that they had a hard time getting the image of the scrawny 15-year-old boy they'd met all those years ago out of their minds. He could deal with their teasing and their constant use of the word 'kid' around him, but what he couldn't deal with was them treating him like he was dumb. Especially when it was pertaining to his own private life.

He opened his mouth to vent some of his frustrations, but Wade squeezed his hand tightly before he could even get a word out.

"I know, I know. Just wait."

Tony immediately leveled them both with an icy stare, and Peter wished he’d give the whole ‘I don’t trust Deadpool’ thing a break. Despite this though he kept his mouth shut and squeezed Wade’s hand back gratefully.

"You may as well take off your mask too Wilson, there’s no point in hiding anything now. Pretty much everyone already knows what you look like anyway." Tony said suddenly, not even trying to keep the distaste out of his voice at this point.

"Well actually, he..." Wade looked over at Peter but didn't finish his sentence.

"What? Wait, you can't be serious. Are you telling me Peter hasn't even seen your face? This is un-fucking-believable." Tony shook his head in disbelief.

"Don't talk to him like that, you don't know anything about it. We both agreed to keep our private lives private and it has nothing to do with you or the Avengers." Peter spat out with more venom than he really knew he was capable of.

Luckily though for all of them the doctors chose that moment to return, and Peter thought it would be better to direct his attention towards them instead.

Everyone in the room was quiet for an uncomfortably long amount of time, all just staring at each other awkwardly before Wade finally broke the silence.

"So, a wizard, a physicist with anger issues and the Bicentennial man all walk into a bar..."

Immediately Peter smacked him in the arm in warning, trying very hard not to laugh.

"Be serious you idiot."

Peter looked up to see that Bruce and Dr Strange were both smirking too despite themselves, but Tony seemed to be even more stone-faced than before.

"Well." Dr Strange finally spoke up. "There's no point in delaying this anymore."

He looked over at Bruce who seemed to take a second to realise it was his turn to speak.

"Right. Okay. Yes so kid, it's important for you to understand that this is a completely normal, natural thing to happen, and you don't need to be scared of the changes you're feeling."

"Jesus Bruce he's going through a soul-bond, not puberty, you're so bad at this." Tony shook his head and smiled for the first time since he’d entered the room. 

Bruce just shrugged at him sheepishly.

"Well I don't know Tony, how about you try explaining it then."

"Oh no, I was told under no circumstances that I was to explain this. I’m not ‘level-headed’ enough apparently."

"If someone could just explain to me what the fuck a soul-bond is without talking about me like I'm not here that would be great." Peter finally spoke up, unable to contain himself anymore. Everything about the situation was making him feel uneasy, the way they weren't addressing him directly, the way they were tiptoeing around their words, and especially the way Wade was so damn quiet. That, more than anything else, was making him feel like he wanted to just grab Deadpool under his arm and swing them both out of a window.

As if in answer to his thoughts Wade scooted a little closer to his bed. "It's okay Spidey."

All three men had stopped talking now, and eventually Bruce gave a deep sigh and turned to him again.

"Look, this isn't exactly an easy thing to explain, but I'll give you the shortened version. There has always been this idea floating around among top defence organisations that you could genetically or spiritually bond people together. Pretty much everyone was doing research into it at one point, but it just so happened that SHIELD were the first to perfect it. It also just so happens that super people have an increased chance at success than most ‘normals’, and so it makes sense that SHIELD would have success with their abundance of test subjects. I mean can you imagine the possibilities of creating a pair of people who were so completely in sync, so completely linked to one another, that they could practically read each other’s thoughts, and feel each other’s emotions? Especially if you applied that ability to a pair of soldiers, or spies? There are so many possible applications.” Bruce stopped here for a second, apparently realising he’d gone off on somewhat of a scientific tangent.

Peter personally thought the whole thing sounded like the plot of a bad science fiction movie, but then again so was a kid getting powers after being bitten by a radioactive spider, so he just nodded for Bruce to continue.

"They tested it out on a number of people, and some of them were actually fairly successful, but they ended up scrapping it about 8 years ago because...because," Bruce stopped mid-sentence seemingly trying to find the right words.

“Because it’s bullshit.” Tony cut in suddenly from behind him. “It’s too unstable, too unpredictable. What works for one pair could kill another. Nothing good can ever come from trying to manipulate people’s minds.”

“Yes well,” Bruce paused nervously. “What he means is that it's a dangerous game to be playing. People change, people leave, bonds don’t always last forever. Your partner could die and take a piece of you with them. You could get bonded to the wrong person and end up being driven mad. It’s just too risky.”

Peter blinked, slowly taking in everything he’d heard. He guessed he kind of understood the basic concept, and lord knew that he’d seen and heard crazier things during his time as Spider-Man, but he just couldn’t believe something like that was really possible.

He turned slowly towards Wade, wishing now that the man had listened to Tony and taken off his mask, so he could see his face.

“Did you know about this?” He asked softly, making sure the question was directed to Wade alone.

“I swear I had no idea Webs. They explained some of it to me while you were out but if I’d known I would have never…I should have realised.” Wades thumb was running nervously over the back of Peter’s hand as he spoke.

He knew he could physically hear Wade’s words being spoken out loud next to him, but more than that he could feel them too. He could feel the desperation Wade felt for Peter to understand, and the guilt that underpinned each word.

“Wade, it’s not your fault. This is obviously something that was out of our control.”

“Indeed, a natural bond like this is exceedingly rare.” Dr Strange suddenly spoke up for the first time.

“What do you mean a natural bond?” Peter immediately turned his attention towards Stephen.

“Well even though SHIELD terminated the project, they still test everyone who comes through the agency for compatibility, and your sensitivity results were some of the highest they’d ever seen kid.” Bruce added, giving him a look that read nothing but concern.

“And that means what exactly?”

“In simple terms it means you have a natural propensity to form a bond with someone. Essentially your soul was just waiting for the right person to come along before it latched on to them.” Dr Strange had stepped a little closer now, noting the confused expression that still graced Peter’s face.

“Some things are just a part of our story Mr Parker. We don’t always understand them, and sometimes we don’t even want them, but they are a piece of us nonetheless.”

“But, why Wade?” Peter asked, even though he already knew the answer. It could only be Wade.

“Probably because he’s fucking loud.” Tony interrupted with a snort before Stephen could reply.

“Excuse me, I’ve barely said a word this whole time, and I don’t think I need to tell you how difficult that’s been for me. I’m not usually known for my self-restraint.” Wade finally spoke up from next to Peter.

“Not literally genius. Okay, well actually yes, literally too. But I mean your soul, your soul is loud. It was practically screaming to be linked to something, so it’s no wonder this happened.” Tony was becoming increasingly agitated.

“I have a loud soul?” Deadpool asked with genuine curiosity.

“Wade, you have a loud everything.” Peter sent him a small sideways smile.

“Okay, this is definitely bullying.” Wade was starting to sound a little more relaxed now, and the comfort ran through Peter like a wave.

“But, why didn’t Wade have any…I don't know. Symptoms? I mean I was making all these strange connections I couldn’t explain, and having these feelings, this pain…why wasn’t he having any of that?” Peter was asking Tony, but he was still looking at Deadpool as he spoke.

“Look that’s something you two are going to have to talk about yourselves, but my guess is that there are so many voices knocking around inside that head of his that he probably wouldn’t even notice another one if it was screaming the lyrics to Take on Me at him on loop.” Tony said very matter-of-factly.

“I know I should be offended, but he’s probably right.” Deadpool shrugged in Tony’s general direction.

“Oookay. Well if you don’t have any other questions, and by which I mean for the love of god please don’t ask me any more questions because I have no answers, I think we’ll leave you two alone to have a little talk.” Tony nodded towards Bruce and Stephen who both shot them awkward smiles before heading out of the door.

Tony lingered behind them for a few more seconds before turning to Wade.

“Remember what we told you Wilson. Just please, don’t hurt him.”

And with that he turned and left, shutting the door behind him.

The two of them sat in silence for a few minutes, time which Peter used to try and gather his thoughts a little. He still kind of felt like this whole thing was a very badly written movie plot, but he couldn’t deny that it also made a lot of sense when he looked at everything that had happened. Wade sat quietly beside him as he thought, and Peter could feel his need for reassurance starting to build.

“So, are you sure this whole thing isn’t some elaborate plot you’ve cooked up to trap me into being your partner forever?” Peter decided to deal with the seriousness of the situation in the only way he knew how, with shitty humour.

“Firstly, I’m honoured that you think I’m capable of coming up with something this elaborate. Secondly, don’t flatter yourself Spider-babe, not even a chance at that fine ass would make me go to the Avengers for help.” Wade sounded convincing on the surface, but Peter knew it was bullshit.

“You’re a terrible liar.” Peter snorted as some of the tension left the room.

“And you're like...ridiculously good-looking. What the fuck?" Deadpool stated the words as if he was annoyed about it.

Peter's face immediately heated up to about a thousand degrees.

"Um, thank you?"

"So you agree? You think you're really good-looking?"

"What? Wade, please don't reference Mean Girls at a time like this." Peter rolled his eyes, but he couldn't stop the smile that now seemed to be stuck on his face.

“There is never a bad time for Mean Girls references Spidey. If we’re going to be bond mates or whatever you better get used to it.”

Peter shook his head with a chuckle, trust Wade to make him laugh at a time like this.

Deadpool suddenly let out a wistful sigh. "Man, to think I've been missing out on those eyes all this time. It's like a crime against humanity that you wear a mask."

"All right, you seriously need to stop before I throw up." Peter had to find something else in the room to look at, because at this point he literally felt like he was going to die of embarrassment.

He shifted around nervously in the bed, taking his hand out of Wade's for the first time since the conversation had started. He didn't know what he expected to feel at the loss of contact, but it certainly wasn't the immediate beginnings of a headache starting to settle behind his eyes.

For the most part Wade didn't seem to be too phased by it, but he did shift minutely closer.

"So, what are you thinking baby boy? This whole thing is pretty wild right?" Deadpool rested his now empty hand on the bed, keeping it just within reach.

"I don't really know yet actually. I feel like I should be more shocked about the entire thing, but I'm kind of just…not. Maybe spending so many years running around with super heroes and fighting aliens has screwed up my ability to tell when something isn’t normal." 

Wade nodded in understanding but didn't say anything in reply.

"What about you? What happened while I was out?" Peter suddenly felt very anxious about how Deadpool had been treated while he was asleep.

"Well I don’t think I need to tell you that it took a fair amount of convincing to reassure Iron Dad that I hadn't somehow poisoned you or something. I nearly ended up on the wrong side of some Repulsor rays. But you've been out for pretty much the whole night, so it gave them plenty of time to lecture me."

Peter chewed on his lip, suddenly feeling very guilty. "And what did they say about all this?"

"Well I got pretty much the same version you just did, except with a lot more threatening, and a lot less patience."

Peter started to fiddle with his fingers nervously, kind of wishing he hadn't let go of Wade's hand.

"Don't worry Petey-pie, I'm a big strong boy, it wasn't that bad."

"Oh right." Peter suddenly had a wave of realisation. "How do you know my name anyway?"

"Um, well I kind of just heard it I guess. Like in my head? I would be more freaked out about it, but I'm guessing that soul-bonds don't really give a shit about privacy." Wade shrugged, starting to tug on the side of Peter's blanket absentmindedly.

"And the mask?" Peter was slightly curious about who had decided on the face reveal.

"Oh that was 100% Stark, I take no responsibility for the beheading of Spider-Man."

Peter's headache was slowly starting to increase in intensity as Wade spoke, and he felt like he could probably use an aspirin and another nap.

"And you really didn't feel anything until now?" 

Deadpool paused for a second, seemingly contemplating his answer.

"Look Peter, Tony wasn't exactly wrong about what he said. I've got so much shit going on in my head that I've gotten really, really good at putting up walls and blocking a lot of it out. If I'd known one of those voices was you I would have never..." He stopped and looked at Peter as if he was willing him to understand.

Peter sighed and finally gave up the pointless battle of keeping his hands to himself. Wade seemed to gather some nerve from the regained contact and started again. 

"All I know is that from the second we started working together I've always wanted to be as close to you as possible. It might have seemed like I was just being some kind of annoying Spider-Man groupie, but I guess I knew that I needed to be with you, even though I didn’t know why."

Peter slowly ran his fingers over the ridges of scarred skin on Wade’s hand, still kind of surprised at the feeling of comfort that came from touching it, and he somehow hoped that Wade was feeling the same thing.

“Well all I can say is clearly my soul was doing things without my consent, because you annoyed the shit out of me when I met you.” Peter grinned, giving his hand a small squeeze.

“Hey, that hurts you know. You’re not allowed to emotionally injure your bond mate, that’s against the rules. I think.”

“Speaking of hurts, my head is actually kinda killing me, so I think I’m going to take a nap. Do you want to…?” Peter could tell that Wade probably hadn’t slept all night, and there was really no point in wasting the rest of the massive king-sized bed he was in.

“Why Peter, are you asking me to sleep with you on our first day as soul buddies? I’m not that kind of lady.”

“Wade just get into the bed and shut up.”

Peter settled back into the pillows, closing his eyes as he tried to ignore Deadpool shifting around next to him. Eventually though he stopped moving, and Peter was just about to drift off when Wade whispered to him.

“Hey, do you think we can communicate through dreams now?”

“No Wade, I don’t think that’s how it works.”

“Oh, oh, but what if we can like communicate telepathically, or read each other’s minds?”

“I think it’s a little more nuanced than that DP, like it’s more about having an unspoken awareness and understanding of each other’s minds.”

“Okay, well if you do happen to be wandering around inside my mind one day and you reach a file labelled ‘Tasty Crock-Pot recipes’ promise me you won’t look inside.”

“Wade, shut the fuck up and go to sleep please.”

“Okay Petey.” Wade finally conceded.

“Oh, and Wade?” 

“Yeah?”

“I’m glad it’s you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think all the Christmas spirit and snow is making me feel sentimental, so many feels in this chapter.
> 
> But unfortunately things can't stay all warm and fuzzy forever. I feel like Tony was just the king of foreshadowing in this chapter.
> 
> As always, let me know what you thought!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this chapter ended up taking a little longer to get out than I expected, work was an absolute nightmare this week and I didn't want to write until I was feeling like I could actually focus on it.
> 
> I just want to say a huge thank you again for all of the amazing comments and kudos on this fic, I'm beyond happy you guys are enjoying it so much.
> 
> (As a side note for anyone interested, I absolutely killed the song Silence by Marshmello and Khalid while I was writing this chapter. I am sappy trash.)
> 
> On with the chapter!

Peter woke up a few hours later feeling pretty damn content given the circumstances. He didn’t need to open his eyes to know that Wade was still in the bed next to him, and his headache also seemed to be gone.

He stretched out his legs a little and rolled onto his back, finally managing to crack open an eye and get a look at the man sleeping next to him. Wade had apparently chosen to sleep in all of his Deadpool gear, but he had at least taken off his boots and rolled up his mask just past his mouth. Peter watched his chest rise and fall a few times in a calm, even rhythm, thinking that this was probably the stillest he’d ever see the man.

He sat up slowly not wanting to disturb Wade from his slumber, when he was stopped by a small tug at his side, and looked down to find Wade’s hand curled tightly around the T-shirt he was wearing.

With a soft smile he gently pried Wade’s fingers from the fabric and moved his hand closer to his side, pausing for a second to take in the feeling of ease it gave him. He didn’t know if he was ever going to get used to that.

It wasn’t exactly like there was something missing when he wasn’t touching Wade, but it’s like he felt more himself when he was. Wade didn’t ‘complete’ him, because that was fucking lame, but it was more like he filled out the cracks, and pushed himself into the small veins of emptiness that Peter didn’t know he’d carried inside him. 

He carefully set the hand back down onto the mattress and scooted himself quietly to the edge of the bed. He wasn’t exactly sure how long he’d been asleep, but his muscles were definitely feeling stiff.

He would have usually just left the room to stretch his legs, but the thought of running into Tony or one of the others wasn’t really something he felt like dealing with right now, so instead he silently slid open the bedroom window and climbed out onto the ledge, shutting it carefully behind him. He made short work of scaling the wall up to the roof, and settled onto the edge of the building, feeling a lot better in the fresh air.

He knew he had a lot he should be thinking about, but if he was honest with himself he still didn’t feel that weird about the whole thing. He was just trying to decide whether his lack of concern itself was concerning when a voice suddenly spoke up from behind him.

“You look like you’re feeling better.”

Peter immediately whipped around to see Hawkeye standing behind him on the roof, bow in hand.

“Jesus Christ Clint, you gave me a heart attack.” Peter pulled his feet back over the side and stood up, walking over to where the archer was standing.

“Yeah, well I didn’t exactly expect someone to come crawling up the side of the fucking building while I was by myself either, you could have ended up with an arrow in your head. We need to get you a bell or something kid.” Clint gave him a good-natured smile.

“So what, are you just like up here doing surveillance and stuff? Keeping an eye out for any evil super villains or alien death rays?”

“Yeah, yeah sure, surveillance. And it’s also a great place to eat pizza.” Clint nodded to a small area behind him that had been set up with a couple of worn, comfy looking chairs, and a little table.

“Oh, right. Spend a lot of time up here then?” Peter wandered over curiously.

“Only during meal times. Have you ever tried to eat around that lot before? I literally saw Thor inhale an entire pot of Carbonara once.” Hawkeye sank down into one of the chairs and gestured for Peter to join him.

“You want some?” Clint leant forward to grab him a slice of pizza, but Peter shook his head.

“Nah I’m okay thanks, I’m still feeling a little strange after everything. I only have this insane craving for chocolate.” Peter smiled as he spoke, assuming that Clint already knew exactly what had happened.

“Yeah the weird cravings will pass in a couple of weeks, once you’re more used to things. Sometimes you can pick up on when your partner’s hungry or thirsty, but your bond has to be pretty strong to know exactly what they’re craving.” Clint spoke with the air of someone who had a lot of experience on the subject.

“So I guess I’m the only one who didn’t know about the whole bonding thing then.” Peter said, trying not to sound too sulky about it.

“Don’t take it too hard Spidey, you’d barely come onto the scene when they scrapped the whole program, so I guess they didn’t really feel like they needed to tell you about it. Plus by then there were only a few of us left anyway.” Clint gave him a reassuring smile.

Peter started to nod in agreement, but stopped mid-movement when something clicked.

“Wait, a few of 'us'? Are you…” He didn’t finish his sentence, not wanting to make any assumptions.

“Oh, they didn’t tell you? Yeah, me and Nat.” Clint said like it was the most normal thing in the world.

Peter stared at him for a few seconds with wide eyes, and Clint started to chuckle.

“You okay there Spidey?”

“Yeah, shit, I just…how could I not have known about that?” Peter was wracking his brain trying to remember anything that might have hinted to the fact that the two were bonded. Obviously besides the fact that they worked ridiculously well together.

Clint laughed again.

“Don’t worry, ours is…different. Well different compared to yours anyway, I heard you’re all natural.” Clint gave him a little smirk that Peter didn’t quite understand.

“How did it happen then?” Peter asked abruptly, feeling his curiosity overtaking his decency a little.

“Well I don’t know how much the science trio told you last night, but I’m sure they mentioned SHIELD’s research into bonding?” 

Peter just nodded in reply, so Clint continued.

“Well Nat and I were kind of guinea pigs for some of their earlier trials. They wanted to test it out on people who had no natural propensity for bonding, so we kind of made the perfect pair. We have a decent level of compatibility, but our sensitivity is almost non-existent, so in the end it created a very weak bond. Like it’s functioning, and we have some pretty cool benefits, but without the added mental and emotional strain of an actual soul link.”

Peter tried to keep up with what he was hearing and frowned in concentration. 

“So, can you guys…feel each other?” He asked, curious about whether Clint had experienced the same things he had.

“Kind of? But definitely not in the same way you can. Like I have enhanced awareness of where she is and what she’s doing when she’s close by, and I can also anticipate a lot of her thoughts and movements, but on the whole it’s kind of like working with someone you’re just really really familiar with.” Clint smiled fondly as he spoke.

“But you’re…married to Laura.” The words were out of Peter’s mouth before he really even understood the implications behind them.

“Yeah? Wait Peter, you know the bond doesn’t necessarily have anything to do with lo…”

But Peter had suddenly whipped around without listening to the end of Clint’s sentence, his body abruptly overwhelmed by the urge to rush back to the ledge he’d just climbed over. He peered frantically over the side of the building to see Deadpool dangling from the bedroom window below him, one hand gripping the sill, and the other holding what appeared to be a Captain America mug full of hot chocolate.

“Yo.” The ex-merc said nonchalantly.

“Wade, what in the almighty fuck are you doing?” Peter shouted in panic, a little louder than was strictly necessary.

“Oh nothing, just hanging out.” Deadpool casually tipped the mug towards him as if he wasn’t currently hanging like thirty stories above the ground.

Peter rolled his eyes at the terrible pun, feeling a little calmer than he had just seconds ago. “I will not hesitate to leave your ass hanging off the side of this building you know.”

“Oh come on Petey, you wouldn’t do that to your one and only soul-sister would you?”

Peter shook his head at the idiot below him, throwing Clint a quick glance over his shoulder.

“Duty calls.” He said, before climbing down to where Wade was, and pulling him back into the room.

After giving him a quick once over to make sure he was okay, noting that Wade had impressively kept hold of the mug the entire time, he fixed him with an exasperated stare.

“Care to explain?”

“My Spidey senses were tingling?” Wade had the good sense to sound vaguely guilty.

“And you therefore decided climbing up the side of Stark Tower one handed was a good idea?” Peter was trying to push back the anxiety that had crept into his throat as he inevitably pictured Wade falling off the side of the building.

“Yeeeah not my brightest idea ever, but I figured since we’re bonded now...”

“Wade that doesn’t mean you have Spider-Man’s powers, be careful you idiot.” Peter had trouble maintaining his irritated expression as Wade slowly walked over and placed the mug into his hands.

“A girl can dream.” Wade sighed in longing. “Plus, you wanted chocolate.”

Peter immediately softened. “Wade, you…”

But he was suddenly cut off mid-sentence by a shout coming from somewhere outside the room.

“Sam! Did you take my cocoa?” The unmistakeable sound of Bucky Barnes echoed through the building.

“No I didn’t take your damn cocoa man, I drink coffee like a normal adult.” Sam’s voice came back in reply.

“Firstly, you’re crazy, who doesn’t like cocoa.”

There was an audible snort from Sam.

“And secondly, let it be known to whoever took it that if it doesn’t magically reappear on this counter in the next 5 minutes, I won’t be held responsible for my actions. Oh, and if there’s even a scratch on that mug you’re going to be very very sorry.”

Immediately Peter levelled Deadpool with the most unimpressed look he could muster.

“Are you telling me you stole cocoa from the Winter Soldier? Do you have a death wish?” Peter might be wrong, but this could possibly be one of the dumbest things Wade had ever done.

“That’s a complicated question.” Deadpool seemed to be seriously considering it.

“Come on, we might as well go and beg for forgiveness and hope to god that Cap is around to save your ass.” Peter started moving towards the door but stopped in his tracks as it suddenly swung open to reveal none other than Nick Fury himself.

“Wilson, Parker, a word?” The SHIELD director wasted no time with pleasantries.

Both men immediately froze in shock, Peter’s hand shooting automatically to take Deadpool’s wrist as he angled himself between Wade and Fury.

“Um, if this is about the cocoa we were just about to return it, Mr Fury. Sir.” Peter had never felt completely comfortable around Fury, and he could feel Wade’s anxiety mirroring his own.

“What? Oh no I’m not here about that, although that is some funny shit. I need to talk to you both about this unauthorized bond I’ve been hearing about.”

“I had nothing to do with it, it was all him!” Wade shot out before Peter could even respond, and Peter turned to him with a glare.

“Nice, just sell me out completely at the first given opportunity. Some bond-mate you are."

“Don’t worry, you’re not in any trouble. Yet.” Fury raised an eyebrow at the pair with a smirk. “But we do need to discuss what’s going to happen now, and your options.”

“We have options?” Peter frowned in confusion.

“Well yes. I’m sure Dr Banner and Dr Strange filled you in on our research efforts into bonding, and even though we’ve terminated the program we still have the use of all our data and techniques.” Fury took a seat on one of the chairs across from the bed and gestured for the two of them to do the same.

They both sat down nervously on the edge of the bed, Peter scooting closer to Wade so that their shoulders were touching. They waited expectantly for Fury to continue talking.

“From what I’ve heard the pair of you bonded naturally, so there isn’t really much that can be done, but we could probably help you to enhance certain aspects of it, or control it better.”

“Certain aspects like what?” Peter didn’t like the idea of anyone interfering in his bond when he barely understood it himself.

“Well we could teach you both how to focus it a bit more, or how to regulate the relay of thoughts and feelings.”

Peter felt Deadpool straighten up a little more beside him.

“Regulate them how?” Wade asked, apparently trying not to sound too interested. Peter felt small seeds of panic beginning to grow in his stomach.

“Well we understand that the bond can be a little intrusive at first, and depending on your sensitivity levels one of you might be a little better at…using it. I’m just offering the possibility of keeping things under control a little.” Fury stated plainly, as if he was talking about the most normal thing in the world.

“So hypothetically we’d be able to, say, limit the bond? Maybe keep certain thoughts or feelings to ourselves?” Deadpool definitely sounded interested now, and Peter didn’t expect the flood of possessiveness that suddenly invaded his mind.

“In theory yes, with a little training. In the past there were cases where bonds ended up being harmful to one or both members because there was no control over the ‘relay of information’. It’s important for both parties to have an equal say if the bond is to be successful in the long term.” Fury’s words were completely analytical and cold, speaking as if there weren’t actual people involved.

As he listened to the words Peter was slowly tightening his grip on Deadpool’s wrist until he was sure it must be hurting the man. He could feel his heart rate beginning to rise, and he turned to Wade in desperation.

“Wade, don’t.” Peter felt like he was scrambling to grab a hold of something he just couldn’t reach.

He’d been so caught up trying to understand everything that had happened, that he hadn’t even stopped for a second to consider how Wade might truly feel about the whole thing. He’d just assumed that everything would have fallen into place for him like it had for Peter, but maybe it hadn’t. Maybe he didn’t want this.

“Wait Peter, no.” Wade immediately turned to face him, reaching out with his free hand but dropping it at the last second.

“I’m not saying…of course I want it, I just thought it might be worth looking in to. I mean surely you don’t want my unbridled crazy in your head all the time.” Deadpool sounded like he was joking around, but all Peter could sense was a feeling of deep guilt.

Fury suddenly cleared his throat as he slowly stood up, distracting Peter from his thoughts for a second.

“Well I would suggest that the two of you discuss exactly what it is you want to do. I know this is all very new to you, but trust me it’s going to grow a lot quicker than you might be prepared for, so take some time and think about what you want. We’ll help you in any way you need.” And with that he left the room, giving them both a nod on his way out.

Immediately after the door closed Wade turned back to Peter.

“I’m sorry, that’s not what I meant at all. I would never…” Wade cut off, seeming to have trouble finishing his thought.

Peter just stared at his hands, still filled with a sense of guilt and remorse that he knew wasn’t his own. He didn’t know if Wade felt guilty for unintentionally making Peter think he wanted to limit the bond, or if he felt guilty because he actually did want to do it. 

“Peter just, look at me…” Wade sighed heavily as Peter slowly lifted his eyes to see the man suddenly reaching up and pulling off his mask. It was over before he could even react.

“I’m here okay, I’m not going anywhere.”

He was quiet after that, and after a few moments Peter felt his hand move towards Wade's face before he could stop it. He slowly ran his fingers down the scarred cheek, not missing the fact that Wade was scanning his face for any reaction. He didn’t really feel the sense of shock or surprise he’d always expected he would, but instead he felt like looking at Wade’s face was the most natural thing in the world.

“You look…kind of exactly like I thought you would.” Peter said finally, dropping his hand back into his lap.

“What? Like I bought some prime real-estate at 123 Chernobyl Lane? Or like I’ve been dragged backwards through a chemical fire?” 

“No dumbass, you just look like…you.” Peter just shrugged, hoping Wade understood what he meant.

Wade shook his head in feigned disappointment, but a soft smile was there too. “That was disgusting. And you were on _my_ ass about being corny Parker.”

“Well I don’t know, it was a lot less climactic than I thought it was going to be. I could do it over if you want?” Peter tried to look as remorseful as possible, but the grin on his face wasn’t helping.

“No, no, it’s too late now. Jesus, you reveal your deepest darkest secret to someone and they don’t even have the decency to be shocked by your hideousness.” 

No matter how much he tried to play it off, Peter knew that this was a big step for Wade, and the level of trust it must have taken for him to take off his mask like that pushed out all the feelings of doubt he’d held from earlier. 

“It’s not like you would have ever been better looking than me anyway, even before you were hideously disfigured, so it doesn’t really matter.” Peter gave him a massive cheesy grin.

“Well let me tell you baby boy, I was F-I-N-E fine before the whole lame mutation thing. Like sure, you’ve got the whole sneakily handsome thing going on, but I was like next level sexy.” Wade raised his eyebrows suggestively, something Peter had seen before through the mask, but much preferred now that his whole face was in view.

“Thank you, DP. I’m sorry I freaked out.”

“It’s okay, all of this is pretty freak-out worthy, so I’m surprised we’ve made it this far anyway.” Peter felt at ease watching the different expressions cross over Wade’s face as he spoke.

“If you want to, I mean, if you think it’s a good idea, we can talk to Fury about how to control this thing more. I should have realised, I’m sorry.” Peter stood up as he spoke, walking across the room to avoid showing Wade how he really felt as the words left his mouth.

In a heartbeat Wade was next to him, and he felt two hands on his shoulders as he was slowly turned around.

“Not on your life sweet cheeks, you and that fantastic ass are stuck with me. I hope you like Mexican food, late night impromptu Celine Dion tribute performances, and the ever-present threat of death. Speaking of which, what do you say we get out of here before Bucky figures out where his cocoa went?” 

Peter gave him a slightly watery smile and nodded, taking his hand and walking them both over to the window to make their escape. He could mostly feel an overwhelming amount of reassurance and warmth coming his way, but there was also something else. It wasn’t as pronounced, but it was definitely there, and Peter could only categorize it as immediate and unrelenting fear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh no, why can't things just be happiness and fluff forever :(
> 
> Well I mean I'm the one writing it so I guess I only have myself to blame...


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well I definitely stayed up way too late writing this chapter, and I'm 100% going to regret it tomorrow.
> 
> Oh well, it's entirely worth it in the name of Spideypool.
> 
> Enjoy the chapter! Things are getting serious.

Peter dropped gently onto the roof of Wade's building and uncurled the arm he'd had fixed tightly around the man's waist. By some miracle they'd managed to make it out of Stark Tower without anyone noticing, but he couldn't be sure that they didn't have a highly trained assassin on their tale.

He'd been careful to leave the cocoa completely unharmed on the table before they'd made a swift exit through the bedroom window, and he hoped that the safe return of the Captain America mug would be enough of a peace offering.

The pair now stood awkwardly on the roof, neither wanting to part, but both knowing there was no real reason to stick around.

"Soooo, this is weird." Wade said without the slightest regard for tact.

Peter let out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding and snorted.

"Soooo fucking weird. Like how do you just go home and carry on with life after news like that. It seems way too mundane to just be washing dirty socks, or making mac and cheese when your soul is literally bonded to someone else’s."

"You're making mac and cheese?" Wade's entire face lit up at the words, and Peter quite enjoyed being able to see the expression.

"What, no, you’re missing the point. I just mean how do you go back to a normal everyday life after you've found out all this crazy shit?"

"So no mac and cheese?" Wade immediately stuck out his bottom lip like an overgrown toddler.

"Oh for fuck’s sake, fine. I'll make you mac and cheese. Come on then." Peter wrapped his arm around Deadpool's waist again.

"I have literally bonded myself to a 3-year-old." Peter muttered with a smile as he swung off in the direction of his own apartment.

In a matter of minutes they landed unceremoniously on the balcony outside Peter’s living room window, and Wade let out a small noise of surprise.

"You live within walking distance of my apartment? Are you kidding me? I was living within a 5-mile radius of Spider-Man this entire time?" Wade stared at him in disbelief.

“Keep it down you moron. If you're going to be that loud you may as well deliver personalized letters to all of my neighbours telling them they live next to a superhero.” Peter quickly slid the window open and tugged Wade inside.

He remembered immediately upon entering that he hadn’t really cleaned his apartment properly in days, and felt a slight wave of embarrassment as Wade surveyed his living space.

Deadpool kept any comments he might have to himself though, and promptly sank down onto Peter’s well-worn couch.

“What are all those books?” Wade asked, gesturing to the precariously piled stack of textbooks sitting on Peter’s coffee table.

“Oh, they’re my coursework books. I’m…a grad student.” Peter suddenly felt a little embarrassed about the fact that his life outside of Spider-Man was so normal, and sat down a little stiffly on the arm of the couch.

Deadpool didn’t seem to think so though as he leant forward to read the titles with interest. He spent a minute or so scanning the books before flopping back into the couch cushions with the most dramatic sigh Peter had ever heard.

“What’s wrong?” 

“Nothing, I just can’t believe that Peter Parker is just as out of my league as Spider-Man. I thought it was bad enough when I was up against the world’s nicest hero, but you’re clearly some kind of genius too if this is what you’re studying.” He pointed forlornly at the books.

Peter suppressed a giggle and put his hand sympathetically on Wade’s shoulder.

“Well if it makes you feel any better my aunt still does my laundry for me, I have to sleep with the lights on after I watch horror movies, and I once managed to burn a salad.”

“I’m now regretting my decision to come for mac and cheese.”

“It’s out of a box, I can’t screw it up that badly.” Peter stood up to walk over to the kitchen, but suddenly found himself feeling a little wobbly on his feet. He swayed precariously to the side, and immediately felt a warm hand steadying him.

“Woah, you good?” Wade asked with concern as Peter straightened himself up.

“Yeah I’m fine, I think I’m probably just hungry. I mean I haven’t eaten in hours, so my stomach is probably planning to stage a coup at any second.” He gave Wade a quick smile and walked a little more deliberately to the kitchen.

Deadpool obviously wasn’t convinced though, and immediately followed him across the room, hovering just within arm’s reach.

“You sure? I don’t want you passing out on me again. I doubt Robocop will let it slide a second time.”

Peter hesitated for a second before slowly offering Wade his hand.

“See for yourself.”

Wade looked slightly confused, but took the offered appendage anyway. Peter thought this would be an interesting place to start testing the boundaries of their connection, and tried to focus on projecting a feeling of calm and contentment.

Deadpool frowned for a second before his face broke into a soft smile. “You’re fine.”

“See, I told you.” 

Peter stopped for a moment, not wanting to sound too nosy, but he decided that Wade probably wouldn’t mind.

“What does it feel like for you? When we touch I mean.”

“It’s like…” Wade seemed to consider the question carefully. “Like, you know in video games where you can see your players health stats on the screen at all times, so you kind of have this subconscious awareness of how they’re doing at any given moment? It’s kind of like that.”

Peter thought about this for a second before conceding that it actually did make a fair amount of sense.

“Weird analogy, but I’ll take it.” He said with a chuckle.

“What about for you?” Wade sounded curious, but Peter didn’t miss the hint of nervousness that laced his words.

“It’s like I’m in your head, or you’re in mine, I’m not really sure which. It’s not like I’m listening to a voice recording of your thoughts or anything, but I just kind of know things. Like they were my own thoughts and feelings.” Peter mused, finding it pretty difficult to describe exactly what it felt like.

“So you’re not…” Wade stopped mid-sentence, sounding a lot more nervous than before. “You don’t feel any pain?”

Now it was Peter’s turn to look confused. “No? Why would I be in pain?”

“Well, it’s just that Stark said...”

“Tony said what?” Peter asked quickly, his own tension now mingling with Wade’s.

“He told me that the reason you passed out before was probably because your mind couldn’t handle the amount of pain that was being relayed through the bond.” Wade got the words out quickly, as if they were poisonous.

“What? No that’s not…” Peter started to protest, but then he remembered the last thing he’d felt before he’d lost consciousness the previous evening, and the words died in his mouth.

“So he was right then.” Wade said in a small voice, sounding nothing like himself.

Peter kept quiet, knowing he couldn’t lie to his partner, but not wanting to cause him any more distress either.

“It makes sense I guess, I mean I was almost blown to pieces when you found me. I’ve spent years learning how to compartmentalise my pain, so I don’t even really remember what it’s meant to feel like anymore, but you had to feel it all at once.”

“Why didn’t you tell me? We can figure it out Wade, this is all so new. We just need some time and I’m sure we can manage this.” 

“No baby boy, this one is all on me. It’s okay though, because if there’s one thing I’m good at its shutting things out.”

Peter felt his body go slightly limp, and he leaned against the kitchen counter for support. “What do you mean?”

“While you were asleep they told me how much damage it could do to you if you were constantly exposed to that amount of mental trauma, so I need to figure out how to make sure that doesn’t happen…I can’t let you end up like me.” The last few words were so soft that Peter barely heard them.

“You don’t have to do it by yourself Wade. I know we didn’t ask for this, but you can’t shut me out okay…promise you won’t shut me out.” Peter stepped forward slightly, feeling his entire body buzzing with possessive instinct. It took everything in his willpower not to crowd Wade against the counter, wanting nothing more than to be as close as possible. 

Wade stared at him with an expression of slight shock, and Peter wondered if the other man could feel the energy radiating off of him. He took a deep breath and tried to get it under control, opting instead to stay where he was.

“I just need to know you’re not going to leave me.” Peter looked at the floor as he spoke, unable to meet Wade’s eyes.

Instead of hearing a reply however, Peter felt rough hands carefully coming to rest on his cheeks, and he allowed his face to be lifted slowly. Wade looked at him with uncertainty for a moment, before leaning forward and gently placing a kiss on his forehead. He moved his hands to wrap around Peter’s shoulders, and Peter found himself being engulfed in the warmth of Wade’s chest.

He could feel so many things, so many things he understood, and so many things he couldn’t begin to grasp. They both knew, standing there in the middle of Peter’s kitchen, that there were unanswered questions between them, and unmade promises that would need to be addressed. But in that moment it felt like the world was giving them time to stop and breathe, so they did. 

***

It was about a week later when Peter climbed through Deadpool’s window to the smell of cinnamon and Christmas trees. He walked casually through the living room, not even bothering to announce his presence, and noted that Wade was nowhere to be seen.

They hadn’t really met up since the night at Peter’s apartment, both agreeing that they probably needed some time to think things through, but Peter was slowly becoming accustomed to a having Wade somewhere in the back of his mind at all times. It made being apart easier in a way, but he’d definitely have been lying if he said there weren’t moments when he just wanted to swing right through Wade’s window because he had a bad feeling. He didn’t know if Wade was experiencing the same thing, but the man had been uncannily on point with his texting recently, always managing to send Peter a reassuring message at the right moment.

Without feeling any immediate need to be concerned about Wade’s whereabouts, Peter wandered into the kitchen in search of the comforting smell that was permeating the air. To his surprise he found a small pot of red liquid warming gently on the stove top, speckled with a bunch of Christmas-ey spices Peter didn’t really have the culinary prowess to name. He leant forward and took a deep sniff, the heady smell of alcohol and spices immediately giving him visions of cosy fireplaces and warm fuzzy sweaters.

As if on cue, Deadpool suddenly appeared from his bedroom wearing a bright piece of red and green knitwear with the words ‘Single and Ready to Jingle’ written across the front of it.

“Hands off the brew, it’s not ready.” Wade hurried over to him, pushing him gently out of the way to check on his precious concoction.

Peter took a second to remind himself of the fact that he was now allowed to see Deadpool’s face, and smiled as he realised that this was the first time they’d been together completely and voluntarily minus their suits.

“Nice sweater.” Peter smirked, noticing now that Wade was also wearing a pair of equally cringe worthy socks with Rudolph faces and little red reindeer noses on the ends.

“Thanks, Blind Al knitted it for me.” He tugged on the bottom proudly to emphasise the annoying pun.

“Um…how?” Peter couldn’t begin to imagine how that was even possible.

“With the power of Christmas Spirit Peter, all you need to do is believe.” Wade waved a ladle around for emphasis as he stirred the pot on the stove.

“Yuuuup okay I’m going to assume this is the alcohol fumes talking. Why does your house smell like a German Christmas market anyway?” Peter threw himself onto the couch, fully able to appreciate its comfort now that he wasn’t head to toe in spandex.

“That would be the mulled wine my little plum pudding, just like grandma used to make. Annnnd possibly the fact that I spilled an entire bottle of pine-scented cleaner on the carpet earlier.” Wade was now ladling the liquid into two mugs.

“And there it is.” Peter shook his head with a smile as he was handed a steaming mug.

He blew on it for a few seconds before taking a small sip.

“Fuck DP, this tastes like actual liquid happiness.” Peter took another big swig, burning his mouth a little in the process.

“Take it easy there Petey, that stuff is a lot stronger than you think.” Wade settled himself on the couch and took a sip from his own cup.

“Lord of the Rings marathon?”

“Extended edition?”

“The day I answer no to that question is the day you’ll know my evil twin has stolen my identity and plans to sully my name and turn all of my loved ones against me. The safe word is ‘cattywampus’.” Deadpool gave him a look of utmost seriousness.

“Just put on the damn movie.” Peter took another sip of wine and settled in for the long haul.

***

About 20 minutes into The Two Towers and Peter was definitely a little more intoxicated than he had planned to be on a week night. He looked at the third empty cup on the table in front of him with a suspicious eye, wondering what kind of Christmas trickery this was.

“What the hell is in you?” Peter had directed the question at the cup, but Wade gave a small laugh beside him.

“We told them it was strong stuffs precious, but they did not listen. Stupid Parkerses”

“That was either the worst Gollum impression I’ve ever heard, or the best, I can’t tell.” Peter laughed as he settled a little further into the couch, his head falling to rest comfortably against Wade’s shoulder.

He thought he felt the man stiffen for a split second, but the idea was immediately pushed from his mind as he felt Wade’s fingers lace through his own.

“My Gollum impression is impeccable, I will not hear anything to the contrary.” Wade said with utter confidence.

“Yes sir.” Peter grinned, turning his attention back to the TV.

They sat in silence for a while, Peter absentmindedly playing with Wade’s fingers and enjoying the enthusiastic noises he made anytime something exciting happened in the movie. He could feel a sense of contentment coming from Deadpool that made him smile, and he felt a sense of relief that nothing much had changed since the conversation they’d had.

He ambled through Wade’s emotions, taking in the warmth from what he felt, until suddenly he came across the same feeling of fear he’d noticed that first day they’d left the tower. He frowned a little, pressing deeper into the feeling and taking a part of it into himself in hopes that he could somehow cause it to disappear. He didn’t notice that Wade was now completely silent beside him, and as he pushed further the grip on his hand tightened.

“Peter, don’t.”

“It’s okay Wade, you don’t have anything to be scared of, we’re okay.” Peter turned to look at him, and continued to press at the wall in his head.

Instantly Peter felt something close off, and all at once he found himself being flooded with the most intense feeling of despair he’d ever experienced. It was as if he were being deprived of all his senses, unable to hear, or see, or feel, simply existing in a void.

He pitched forward, grasping at Wade desperately to regain some kind of connection, and immediately found himself being wrapped in strong arms, the emptiness gone as quickly as it had come.

“I’m sorry, you’re okay. It’s okay.” Wade was slowly letting him back in, and Peter took in each emotion as if he were feeling them for the first time.

They sat like that for a while, neither moving or speaking, until Peter finally felt the full weight of what he’d done. He leaned backwards out of Wade’s arms, scooting a little towards the edge of the couch to put some space between them. 

“Wade, I’m sorry I…”

“You just had to fucking push didn’t you.” Wade bit out, his words laced with a venom Peter hadn’t expected.

“I know, I’m sorry. I didn’t think about what I was doing.”

“I’m not a fucking science experiment Peter. You might not know what it’s like to have people digging around inside your mind, but I do. You can’t just do whatever the fuck you want because of some bullshit bond. I didn’t ask for this you know.” Wade was seething, and Peter just stared blankly as the words washed over him. He didn’t realise he was crying until a tear dripped onto his hand.

Wade sighed deeply beside him, running a weary hand over his face.

“Look, you’d better just go. It’s late, and we’ve been drinking, this is not the time to be having this discussion.” The anger had all but left his voice, but Peter would have preferred it over the tone of complete resignation that had replaced it.

He reached out his hand to take Wade’s again, but it was immediately withdrawn out of his reach.

“You need to leave Peter. I promise I’ll talk to you later, but you need to go.”

Peter couldn’t summon any words to speak, so he simply gave a small nod and walked over to the window. He hesitated for a moment, every fibre of his being telling him to turn around and go back to Wade, to make him understand, but he knew that there was nothing more he could do right now.

He had one leg out of the window when he felt a nudge at his shoulder, and he looked down to see Wade holding out his coat.

“Don’t forget this, it’s cold tonight.”

Peter silently took the coat, and Wade turned around and walked away without another word, disappearing into the depths of the apartment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well...
> 
> Things can only get worse before they get better right?
> 
> As always I would love to hear what you thought of this chapter! And thank you all again for the amazing support!


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good lord, this chapter…it’s like the universe was working against me.
> 
> First I lost about 700 words of it because I’m an idiot, and it took me forever to rewrite because I couldn’t get it back to the way I wanted it. And then my internet cut out for like 6 hours when I was finally ready to post.
> 
> So of course I took these all as bad omens and I only hope this chapter didn’t turn out terrible -_-
> 
> Also I'm so sorry for any emotional trauma caused by the previous chapter, hopefully this one will make up for it.
> 
> Enjoy!

But Wade didn't talk to him, or respond to his texts, or pick up the phone when Peter finally worked up the nerve to call him. Which is why Peter now found himself sitting quietly on a chair in Tony Stark's' office, as the man himself fixed him with a look that was halfway between frustration and sympathy.

"So, how long has it been?" Tony finally asked.

"Six days." Peter answered immediately. He could have added the number of hours too, but he thought that might be overkill.

"Well that's not too bad, I'm sure he's disappeared for longer than that before. Maybe he's just busy with Deadpool business?" Tony tried to sound reassuring, but Peter quickly shook his head.

"No, he's definitely still in the city. But I can't..." Peter stopped mid-sentence, not able to admit to himself out loud that he couldn't feel exactly where Wade was anymore.

"So he shut you out?" Tony seemed to understand without need of an explanation.

"Not completely, I can still feel him if I focus, but it's not like before. It’s like he’s controlling what gets through." Peter's hands were clenched in his lap, knuckles white from the pressure.

Tony let out an impressed whistle. "He can do that already with absolutely no training? That's not easy. Figures Peter ‘I’m too sensitive for my own good’ Parker would pick someone with a natural ability to put up barriers and self-regulate the bond.”

“I clearly did something terrible in a past life and this is my punishment.” Peter tried to sound light-hearted, but his face was anything but.

"Fuck." Tony let out a sigh. "When I find that idiot I'm going to wring his neck."

"It's not his fault Tony, he did nothing wrong. It was me, I pushed him when he asked me not too." Peter felt a surge of the guilt that had been bubbling in his stomach all week.

"I understand kid, but you're both still getting used to this whole thing. He can't just go running at the first sign of trouble. I warned him what could happen." Tony shook his head, speaking more to himself towards the end.

"Yeah, and what exactly did you tell him? He was practically terrified that he was hurting me or something. You had no right to make him think he was the problem." Peter tried to stay calm, but everything was just too overwhelming.

"Peter, don't get into this with me, there are a lot of things you don't know." 

"Oh sure, and you're the expert as usual? You're not even bonded to anyone so how could you possibly understand?" 

Immediately Tony's face darkened, and Peter knew he'd gone too far.

"Tony I'm..." But he was cut off before he could finish.

"Okay, so you want to make assumptions? Fine. But don't come running to me when things get dark, because believe me they can get very dark. Do you understand what can happen if a bond goes bad Peter? Do you think you're prepared for having a piece of yourself torn out stitch by stitch? I'm not about to sit here and let that happen to you too." Tony's words were harsh and piercing, but Peter thought that more than anything else they rang of a deep and incurable hurt.

"Too? Tony did you…were you?" Peter didn't dare to finish his question.

"Come on Peter, you can put two and two together can't you? You're a smart kid. Why do you think they scrapped the program just after Sokovia?"

Peter froze, everything suddenly falling in to place as if the answers had been there the entire time.

"You and Steve?" Was all he managed to say, too ashamed to meet Tony's gaze.

"Yes, me and Steve. But that's ancient history now." Tony sighed with resignation.

"But what happened? How are you okay?" Peter asked without thinking. He just couldn't see how anyone could survive separating from their bond-mate.

"It's not the same as yours Pete, our bond was made in a lab, and it was just as easily broken in one. Doesn't make it any less terrible though." Tony gave him a sad smile, which was somehow even more painful to look at than the expression of anger it had replaced.

Peter suddenly had a million questions he wanted to ask, but he didn't want to overstep his boundaries again, so he simply gave a quiet nod of understanding.

"You can ask me anything you like kid, it was years ago, and things are okay now. Not perfect, but okay." Despite everything Tony seemed to genuinely mean those words.

Peter didn't understand how things could ever be even remotely okay after losing your bond-mate, the mere thought of losing Wade was too much for him to even consider.

"How did it happen for you? I mean, did you and Steve choose to bond? Or did SHIELD make you do it?"

Tony seemed to consider this for a second. "A little of both I guess. SHIELD thought it would be a good idea to have a bonded pair leading the Avengers, and I was naïve and confused about my feelings, so I jumped at the chance. And it actually worked, for the most part, but it was nowhere near as strong as they were hoping. They only realised much later that the bond was so weak because Steve had already naturally bonded with Bucky decades before, so when he showed up again everything went to shit."

"But you're okay now right? You weren't hurt when you separated?" Peter looked Tony over as if he might find some kind of physical scar.

The look on Tony's face told him that the man was hesitant to answer this question, but eventually he conceded with a sigh.

"It was the single most painful, desperate, lonely feeling I've ever experienced. But once it was over it was over. I guess one good thing about having your bond broken is that you become almost completely apathetic to your bond-mate’s existence. I can still feel the hole it left behind when we separated, but I don't associate that emotionally with Steve...if that makes any sense."

"And natural bonds? Can natural bonds be broken like that too?"

"Fury seems to think so, but I'm not so sure. Steve and Bucky's bond survived decades of them being apart, Steve being bonded to someone else, and Bucky being brainwashed. I don't see how you could break something that strong."

“Because Fury told us he could teach us how to limit the bond, or control it more. I don’t want anyone interfering in it but Wade, he…” Peter found it difficult to even talk about the idea.

“Look, you know Wade a lot better than I do, and I get that he’s having a harder time than you coming to terms with the whole thing, but I don’t think letting SHIELD poke around inside your head is going to be beneficial for either of you.” There was a clear tone of resentment in Tony’s voice that Peter didn’t miss.

“But if it’s the only way we can stay together…” He paused. “I don’t know what else to do.”

Tony gave him a look that told Peter he understood exactly what he was feeling, and Peter took some comfort in the fact that he wasn’t alone.

“Peter, I don’t trust Deadpool like, at all, but I can tell you for certain that there is no way he’s ever going to leave you.”

“But how can you possibly know that? You didn't see him Tony, he was so angry.” Peter desperately needed reassurance, but Tony was not the person he needed it from.

“You just have to trust me kid. You need to take things slowly, give him time to adjust, but don’t doubt that he’ll always come back.”

“I don’t know if I can…” Peter started to speak, but he was cut off mid-sentence by a familiar and comforting warmth flooding his senses.

His face suddenly broke into a massive grin, and he looked up at Tony who was now shaking his head with a smile, probably already guessing what had happened.

“I can feel him again! He let me back in Tony. I need to go see him.” Peter bounced around on his heels like an excitable puppy, barely able to stop himself from jumping through the nearest open window.

“And this proves yet again that I am always right and that you should always listen to me. Well get going then, I’ll talk to you later kid.”

Peter nodded vigorously and instantly ran for the exit, stopping only for a second to yell a quick but sincere ‘thanks’ to Tony over his shoulder.

“Yeah, yeah. I’m going to start charging you for these counselling sessions you know.”

***

Peter made it back to his own apartment in record time, and practically threw himself through the door in excitement.

He instantly locked eyes with Wade, who was standing in the middle of his living room dressed in his Deadpool suit, holding what appeared to be a children’s Spider-Man themed birthday cake.

“Hi?” Wade asked hesitantly before he found himself with an armful of Spider-Man.

“Hey, hey, watch the cake.” His voice came softly from somewhere near Peter’s ear, but he completely disregarded the warning.

He held onto Wade as if at any second the other man might float away, and he felt himself breathe easily for the first time in days. He could feel again, and he couldn't stop the flood of tears that spilled from his eyes.

After a few moments Peter felt Wade push gently at his shoulder, and he reluctantly loosened his grip, suddenly realising just how tightly he’d been holding him.

“Peter I’m…” Wade started, but Peter immediately shook his head.

“If you’re about to say ‘I’m sorry’, please don’t, you have nothing to apologise for. I was such an idiot Wade, I don’t know why I pushed you like that. I was so scared.” Peter kept his hand resting lightly on Wade’s chest as he spoke, not quite ready to give up the contact.

Wade was quiet for a few seconds. “But then what am I going to do with this?”

He nodded down towards the cake, and Peter let his eyes drift down to the blue and red icing on top. Written there in perfectly looped cursive were the words:

_I’m sorry I shut you out of our bond and then ran away for six days._

“How did you…how did you even get someone to put that on a cake?” Peter shook his head with a smile, feeling a few more stray tears make their way down his face.

“I know a guy.” Wade spoke softly again as he lifted his free hand to wipe the wet trail from Peter’s cheek. “I missed you.”

“I missed you too.”

“I was an idiot.”

“No, I was an idiot.”

“Okay can we stop? I'm starting to feel like this is very quickly turning into a beloved 90s romcom starring Meg Ryan.”

Peter shoved his shoulder playfully, but finally relinquished his hold long enough for Wade to set the cake down on the table.

They looked at each other awkwardly for a few seconds before Wade finally pulled off his mask.

"I handled this whole thing so badly Spidey, I shouldn't have disappeared like that." The look on his face was so sincere that Peter felt even more guilty than he had before.

"Wade, none of this was your fault, I should have listened to you when you told me to stop." Peter desperately wanted to make him understand. He couldn't have Wade thinking another thing was his fault.

"I know you didn't mean to do it Petey, but thank you for apologising. It doesn't make what I did any less shitty though, I also need to start being more responsible for my actions. I can't just disappear every time things get complicated."

"DP that's...” Peter paused for a second. “That’s possibly the most mature thing I've ever heard you say. Wait a second...what's the safe word?" He narrowed his eyes in suspicion, but he knew the grin on his face was definitely giving it away.

"What? Oh you little asshole, I'm not an evil clone."

"Safe word, Deadpool."

"Fine, cattywampus. You're not allowed to use my own jokes against me, I’m trying to grow as a person here." Wade pouted a little, but he mostly just looked impressed.

"We really need to get better at this whole 'being serious adults' deal, don't we?" Peter gave Wade a sheepish smile, knowing that neither of them were even remotely capable of that.

“Nah, what for? Then I’d have to start doing responsible things like meal prepping, and not spending all my money on Spider-Man memorabilia.” Wade shook his head in disgust.

Peter let out a soft laugh as he gently took Wade’s hand. “So, what do we do now?”

“Eat cake?” Wade answered without hesitation.

“No, I mean like about the whole _we’re bonded together and probably need to establish clearly defined boundaries_ thing.”

“Eat cake _and_ ice-cream?” Wade answered confidently again.

“Yeah, fair enough.” Peter sighed with a smile, deciding to follow Tony’s advice and just give Wade time.

He walked over to the kitchen, hoping like hell that he actually had some clean eating utensils, when he felt Wade’s presence somewhere close behind him. He turned around to see him hovering at the edge of the kitchen, looking very hesitant about something.

“Everything okay?” Peter asked carefully, not wanting to push him.

“Yeah, it’s just…there is one thing I decided on while I was away, and I know if I don’t do it now, I’m not going to.”

Peter nodded slowly, bracing himself for the worst. He waited for Wade to tell him that he wanted more control, or that he wanted to take Fury up on his offer, but instead Peter watched Wade cross the kitchen and hesitantly take his hand.

“Look, I need you to know that I wasn’t putting up walls because I want to keep you at a distance, or because I’m trying to hide something from you, I was just…here.” 

He squeezed Peter’s hand a little tighter, and all at once Peter felt a wave of pain wash over him. It wasn’t the most unbearable pain he’d ever felt, but it pushed its way through his body with unrelenting force, tugging at every fibre, and invading every cell. He inhaled sharply, wincing as he tried to adjust to the sensation, and he looked over Wade in confusion trying desperately to figure out what could be causing it.

Wade just gave him a look of deep regret and instantly the pain began to fade, disappearing so completely that Peter wondered if it had ever been there at all.

“What was that?” Peter asked in panic as soon as he got his breath back.

Wade just looked at him for a second before letting go of his hand completely. 

“That’s what I was keeping behind the wall baby boy, that’s what I was trying to keep you away from.”

“What do you mean? You’re not…you’re in that much pain right now?” Peter didn’t see how anyone could bear something like that for more than a few minutes without showing it at all.

“Yup. That’s what it feels like when your body is constantly mutating cancer cells in order to keep you alive. Fun isn’t it?” 

“But, how can you…” Peter didn’t even know what to say.

“I’ve told you before Webs, I don’t feel pain like a normal person anymore. I had to learn how to deal with it or I’d be a lot fucking crazier than I am now. But there’s no way in hell I’m going to put you through that as well.” Wade looked at him with nothing but determination, and Peter felt his heart breaking.

“You could have told me. You don’t have to deal with this alone you know, not anymore.” Peter took a step towards him, grateful to see that Wade didn’t retreat.

“I know, and I trust you Petey, but you’re just going to have to accept that there are some parts of myself that I need to keep as far away from you as possible, okay?”

“There has to be something I can do though…” Peter took another step forward. He couldn’t stand to think of Wade suffering like that even for a second.

“Peter, I know that if you could you’d take every ounce of my pain for yourself, and that’s enough. You don’t have to do anything more than you’re doing now just by being here.” Wade seemed to hesitate for a second before running his hand slowly down Peter’s cheek.

Peter caught the hand halfway and nodded, curling himself into Wade’s chest and drinking in the warmth he found there. He felt safer and more at ease than he had all week, but there was also something else budding in his chest that he hadn’t quite noticed before. Mixed in with the warmth and happiness was something he recognized straight away, but couldn’t bring himself to believe. It was pure, unfiltered love. 

At first he thought it was coming from Wade, but he very quickly realized it was actually coming from him, and he instantly pushed it as far into the depths of his mind as he could, recoiling suddenly from Wade’s arms as if he’d been burned. He hoped with all his being that Wade hadn’t noticed, and as he looked up with very obvious crimson cheeks, he saw nothing but confusion on the man’s face.

“Sorry uh, I just really wanted to get to that cake. Let me just get some forks.” Peter turned his back to scratch around in the drawers, eternally thankful for the distraction.

“Ooookay weirdo, well we'll just pretend like that's not a giant, obvious lie.” Wade gave him a comically large wink and wandered over to the couch.

Peter breathed a sigh of relief, grabbing a couple of forks and walking back into the living room as casually as possible.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Peter handed Wade the utensil and promptly shoved an unnecessarily large amount of cake into his mouth to avoid having to say anything else. 

“Mmhmm.” Wade hummed suspiciously, but thankfully dropped the subject in favour of stuffing his own mouth with cake too.

Peter thought he was in the clear and had just begun to really enjoy his cake when Wade suddenly spoke again.

“You know, if you popped an awkward boner back there it’s okay, happens to me all the time in emotional situations.”

Peter immediately choked on his cake in shock, sending a cascade of crumbs flying everywhere. Nope, there was no way in hell he could love this man, it was impossible. Definitely not.

Wade was now patting him vigorously on the back, laughing loudly as Peter continued to cough. Eventually though he regained control of his diaphragm, and turned his head with the full intention of berating Wade for his comment. However, as he watched his partner brushing crumbs from his lap and smiling in true amusement, he could do nothing to stop the familiar warmth bubbling up once more.

Oh shit. I definitely love this man, don’t I?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oooooh shit indeed Petey.
> 
> Thank you so much to everyone who has stuck with this story so far, you are all absolutely lovely!
> 
> I hope to have the next chapter up soon ^^


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy holidays everyone!
> 
> Sorry this took me a little longer to get out than I had planned, but I ended up taking a little break from writing over Christmas.
> 
> I also went to watch Into the Spiderverse and it was soooo good. Definitely go and see it if you haven’t already. I cried twice.
> 
> Enjoy the chapter!

Peter spent the rest of the evening trying his best not to touch, look at, or even think about the man he might possibly, perhaps, be in love with. And so far it was going about as well as expected. 

It had taken Wade all of ten minutes to figure out that Peter was acting strangely, and he now seemed to be making it his personal mission to annoy him into admitting what was wrong.

“Wade! You have been staring at me non-stop for the last five minutes. What do you want?” Peter finally snapped, not able to take the scrutiny of Wade’s gaze any longer.

“Well I’ve been _trying_ to mentally will you to get up and fetch me another slice of cake for like the last ten minutes, but it’s not working.” Wade shrugged as if that were a perfectly normal thing to do.

“And you don’t think just opening your mouth and asking me to do it would have been quicker?” Peter rolled his eyes.

“Boo, where’s the fun in that? What’s the point of having a bond if I can’t telepathically ask my partner to get me baked goods?”

“DP for the last time, I can’t actually read your mind, I’m not Professor X.” Peter shook his head with a smile.

“Oh wait, maybe this will help.” Wade suddenly made a grab for Peter’s hand, and in that moment he’d never been more grateful for his enhanced reflexes.

Before Wade could even make contact, Peter was off the couch and halfway to the kitchen. 

“I’ll just grab you that cake.” He called over his shoulder without looking at Wade’s face, knowing it probably bore a very suspicious expression.

He didn't have to wait long to find out though, because just as he began cutting another generous slice for them both he sensed Wade behind him. He turned around quickly, cake knife in hand, to see Deadpool attempting to sneak up on him like some kind of cartoon super villain.

“Woah, woah, woah put the knife down Stabby McGee, I don’t want any holes in my suit. Or my torso for that matter.” Wade lifted his hands in surrender and Peter let out a soft laugh as he put down the offending cutlery.

“Did you seriously just try and sneak up on me? You know I have my Spidey sense right? Not to mention this apartment is tiny. Oh yeah, and I can _literally_ sense your existence at all times.”

“You mean I don’t bypass your Spider-alarm yet? That hurts Petey, I thought you trusted me.” Wade was now standing very close to him, and Peter found it incredibly difficult not to give into his urge to reach out and close the space between them.

“I trust you, but my Spidey senses are clearly still not over the time you snuck into my apartment in the middle of the night to steal my underwear for your Ebay auction.” Peter smirked as he recalled the incident.

“Who says I wanted to sell those on Ebay? Those were for my private collection.” Wade winked at him suggestively, giving Peter a creepy smile.

“Ew, I don’t know if that’s worse than you selling them or not.” Peter turned his attention back towards the forgotten cake.

“So…are you going to tell me why you’ve been acting so weird all night?” Wade asked, his voice suddenly much closer than Peter had remembered it being a second before.

“Am I? Sorry, I didn’t mean to be weird.” Peter decided to play dumb, but he knew there was a very slim chance he’d get away with it.

“Bold of you to assume you can lie to me Parker. Don’t make me have to use my methods of persuasion.”

“Is that a threat?” Peter turned around to face the source of his torment again, trying desperately to keep the temperature of his face under control.

“Just know, I’m not above tickling it out of you.” Wade shot his hands out suddenly in an attempt to grab Peter around the waist, but he was too quick, and all but back-flipped across the kitchen out of Deadpool’s reach.

Wade looked at him with a confused and slightly hurt expression for a few seconds.

“Peter, just because I told you I need to keep a few boundaries doesn’t mean you can’t…doesn’t mean we can’t be close.” Wade held out his hand for Peter, and he looked at it with a mixture of hesitancy and longing.

“No, Wade I just…”

“Come on Peter, I know you want to, because I want to too. And if you’re worried that it’s difficult for me or something you really don’t have to be. It’s not hard for me to keep certain pieces blocked off, and it’s not hurting me or anything.” Wade’s hand still hung in the air between them, and Peter slowly found himself losing the battle to maintain control.

He gently brushed their fingertips together, part of him focusing as hard as he could to keep Wade away from finding anything he might not want to find, and part of him kind of hoping he did.

Wade helped Peter in his hesitancy by lacing their fingers together the rest of the way, grabbing the plate from the counter, and tugging Peter back over to the couch. If he noticed something weird he didn’t say anything, so Peter simply decided to keep quiet, eat his cake, and hope to god he wasn’t going to screw things up. 

***

After an ungodly amount of sugar having been consumed between the both of them, Peter wasn’t surprised when Wade’s head suddenly sagged sideways on the couch, coming to rest slowly on his shoulder. He looked down and noticed that his partner was fast asleep, probably in the grip of a fierce food-coma, and he couldn’t help the smile that played on his face as he watched Wade’s features twitch as they relaxed into sleep.

He didn’t know what Wade had been doing for the last six days, but he could feel now just how exhausted he was, and Peter hoped he hadn’t been doing anything stupid. He knew that if he pushed hard enough he could probably find the source of Wade’s exhaustion, but he wasn’t about to make the same mistake twice, so instead he slowly scooted the sleeping man’s head down onto his lap, and made sure that Wade’s neck wasn’t too cramped up.

He turned the TV volume down a couple of clicks and continued half listening to the random penguin documentary Wade had insisted on watching.

He had just begun to feel drowsy himself when he noticed something gradually beginning to prick at the edge of his consciousness, and Peter immediately recognised it as a crushing sense of panic. He felt his heart rate begin to rise, and his blood start to pump as if he were ready to jump into action at any moment. He frantically looked around for the source of the danger, but everything was still calm and quiet around him. It was then that he finally noticed Wade fitfully moving his head around in his lap, body beginning to curl in on itself, and his hands clenched into fists. He was having a nightmare.

The sheer terror Peter felt coursing through his body was enough to tell him that this wasn’t an ordinary nightmare, and he immediately ran his hand over Wade’s cheek, trying to soothe the man from whatever was plaguing him.

“Hey, its okay, I’m here.” He whispered quietly, willing himself to calm down so that he could help Wade do the same. He focused as hard as he could on projecting a sense of safety to Wade as he slowly shook his shoulder, trying to wake him up gently without adding to his distress.

“No!” Wade finally opened his eyes with a panicked shout, sitting bolt upright and grabbing Peter by the throat, seemingly unaware of what was happening.

It was only for a few seconds, but Peter felt the true power of all Wade’s training and experience crushing down on his windpipe, and he struggled for a moment to get a good grip on Wade’s arms. He knew he could easily overpower Deadpool and pull himself free if he needed to, but it only took another second for Wade’s face to pale in realisation, and immediately the pressure on his neck was gone.

Peter instantly began to cough, and brought one hand up to his throat to try and ease the pain he felt there. He also urgently grabbed at Wade’s sleeve with his other hand, knowing full well that he was probably going to try and run at any second.

“Oh god, Peter…” 

Peter could hear the fear and regret in Wade’s voice without even having to look at him, and he pushed aside the pain in his throat as he opened his mouth to speak. 

“Wade, it’s okay. You didn’t mean to do it, and I’m fine. Everything is okay.” He was incredibly impressed that he managed to get everything out while sounding as normal as possible. The last thing he wanted was for Wade to hear that he was hurt.

Wade simply looked at him with the most pained expression Peter had ever seen and shook his head, eyes wide with distress.

“No, it’s not fucking okay. I could have really hurt you.”

“But you didn’t, as soon as you realised you stopped. You weren’t trying to hurt me Wade, it was the dream.” Peter tried his best to soothe him.

“I know, but this is just one more way for me to fuck things up. Shit! Why am I not allowed to just have one good thing?” Wade began to stand up, and suddenly all Peter could feel was an intense desire to keep him close. 

He lurched forward, grabbing Wade around the waist and engulfing him in a very tight hug. The force of his movement pushed Wade backwards into the arm of the sofa, and he let out a small huff of air as some of the wind was knocked out of him. 

“I’m not letting you go until you calm down.” Peter said evenly, his voice somewhat muffled by the bulk of Wade’s chest.

“Peter this isn’t a joke, let go.” Wade struggled against him lamely, but Peter could tell he wanted to stay right where he was.

Eventually after a few more half-hearted attempts to escape Wade’s breathing seemed to even out, and he relaxed into Peter’s hold, his head coming to rest somewhere in the crook of Peter’s neck.

“You okay?” Peter asked quietly.

He felt Wade’s head nodding gently against his shoulder, and he reluctantly released his grip until they could look at each other again.

“It’s okay.” Peter paused for a second. “I get them too you know, nightmares I mean. Sometimes about my Uncle Ben, sometimes about bad guys, and sometimes about random strangers I couldn’t save. I’ve broken things before, and nearly scared the life out of my aunt more than once, it happens.”

Wade nodded silently, his eyes not quite meeting Peter’s.

“These are different Webs, I deserve mine.” He said in a very small voice.

Peter looked at him for a second in confusion, but it didn’t take him long to figure out what Wade meant.

“Just because you’ve done bad things in the past doesn’t mean you need to be punished for them forever Wade, the important thing is that you’re trying to change now. That’s all anyone can ask. You don’t deserve to feel like this.”

He could still feel the remnants of the panic coursing through his veins, as well as the guilt and shame that had followed, and all he could think about was opening himself up and replacing those feelings with all the love he knew Wade deserved.

“But I could have hurt you, there’s no excuse for that.” Wade sounded completely defeated.

Peter frowned at Wade’s stubbornness, deciding to try a different approach. One that was better suited to two men with the emotional maturity of potatoes.

“It’s really cute that you think you could actually hurt me DP, I could kick your ass in my sleep.” He said with a grin.

Immediately Wade’s expression changed, and his eyes showed a hint of challenge in them. Peter inwardly breathed a sigh of relief.

“Oh please, everyone knows Spider-Man doesn’t hurt people on purpose. So boring.” Wade said, finally giving him the smallest hint of a smile. 

“Yeah, but Peter Parker lives by no such rules, so don’t push me.”

Wade didn’t reply after this, simply shaking his head with a smile, and Peter figured he shouldn’t press the subject. He settled instead for taking Wade’s hand in his, tugging him gently from the sofa, and leading him towards his small bedroom.

Once inside Wade looked around for a second before letting out a low whistle.

“Never in a million fantasies would I ever imagine I’d be standing in Spider-Man’s bedroom. Where do you keep your suits? Do you have like a secret compartment that opens when you pull a specific book? Or maybe one of these is a false wall?” Wade began knocking against the walls, apparently trying to listen for hollow spots. The previous incident seemingly forgotten for now.

“Uh, sorry to disappoint you, they’re just in the closet.” Peter jerked his thumb in the direction of the organized chaos that was his wardrobe.

“Oh, well what about all your super cool tech? Do you have a secret safe behind one of these posters?” Wade asked undeterred, as he began to peel away the edge of the nearest picture.

“Um, do those count?” Peter gestured lamely to his discarded web shooters that had been unceremoniously dumped on his desk.

“Okay…well if we’re not in here so you can show me your sick super hero collection, what are we doing?” Wade asked in confusion.

“Um going to bed? This is a bedroom you know.” Peter answered with more confidence than he actually felt.

Wade’s face became sombre again almost immediately.

“Peter, I don’t think that’s a good idea…”

“Why not? I’ve barely slept all week, and I know you’re exhausted too so don’t bother denying it. We also both know that we’re going to sleep better if we’re together, so it doesn’t make any sense not too. I’m not scared of you.” Peter could feel his heart beating faster as he spoke, but his need for the comfort of Wade’s presence was over-riding his embarrassment.

“But I didn’t bring my jim-jams.” Wade said with a sigh, and Peter knew he’d already given in to the idea.

“It’s okay, you can borrow some of mine. I’m going to take a quick shower though so just wear whatever you can find in there.” Peter nodded towards his top drawer before grabbing a towel and quickly retreating into the bathroom.

Once inside he leaned against the door with a sigh, wondering what the hell he’d just done.

‘This is fine, it’s no big deal, he’s only going to be sleeping next to you. Just be normal Peter. BE NORMAL.’

_It’s not fine, he’s definitely going to find out that you love him._

‘No he won’t, I just have to stop thinking about it so much and he won’t be able to tell.’

_He definitely will, he’s your bond-mate. He knows everything._

‘Oh god, he’s definitely going to find out. Abort mission.’

But upon walking back into his bedroom after showering, brushing his teeth, and having two more mental arguments with himself, Peter quickly realised he didn’t have anything to worry about for now.

Wade already seemed to be fast asleep, curled up in his bed wearing an old Hulk themed t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants that were definitely too short for him, leaving a good portion of his ankles exposed.

Peter smiled at how domestic the whole thing was, wondering when the hell his life became a bad romantic movie. He carefully lifted the covers and slid in next to Wade, slightly annoyed that the man had chosen to sleep on his favourite pillow, but happy that he was finally going to get a decent night’s sleep knowing his bond-mate was within reach again.

He watched Wade’s face for a few seconds, and before he really knew what he was doing he had leaned forward and placed a soft kiss on the sleeping man’s forehead.

“What was that for?” Wade suddenly mumbled softly, and Peter froze.

“Um, so you have good dreams?” He said before he could even comprehend how corny it sounded out loud.

But Wade just smiled, his eyes opening slowly. “Disgusting…thank you.”

Peter felt Wade’s hand reach down and take his own, and he instinctively scooted closer into the man’s warmth, his nose now inches away from Wade’s chest.

“Night Peter.”

“Night Wade.” He paused for a second with a smirk. “And no more bdsm stuff for tonight okay, I’m tired.”

“You little shit, you’ve clearly been spending way too much time with me. You used to be cute.” Wade shook his head with a tired smile.

“Hey, I’m still cute.” Peter started to laugh, but was cut off midway by a yawn.

“Looks like it’s definitely time for little superheroes to go night-night.” Wade’s statement would have been more effective if he hadn’t yawned a second later too.

Neither felt the need to reply after that, and Peter felt his eyes drifting closed as he anchored himself to the feeling of Wade’s hand in his, and he quickly forgot why he’d ever wanted to let it go in the first place.

***

“Peter, you’ve just been sitting there in silence for the last fifteen minutes. Either tell me what’s wrong, or let me get back to work.” Tony looked up from his workbench and pointed a small soldering device at Peter, which he knew could probably cause him some serious damage if Tony got angry.

“But…you’re going to yell at me when I tell you.”

“At this point I’m going to yell at you anyway for wasting my time, so get to it.” Tony still sounded annoyed, but there was a hint of a smile that put Peter a little more at ease.

Peter ran an anxious hand through his hair and sighed.

“Well I have a bond related question…”

“Do you want me to get Bruce and Stephen?” Tony asked with a much softer tone, finally putting down the menacing tool.

“No, no, I don’t think we need to involve anyone else.” Peter answered a little too quickly.

“Okay…so what is it?” Tony raised an eyebrow, now seemingly a lot more interested.

“Well, I just wanted to know if, like, when you’re bonded to someone it might cause certain feelings to manifest?”

“Yeah? Peter that’s kind of the point. You’ll obviously be more in tune with Wade’s emotions, so it’s perfectly normal for you to feel things that seem new or strange.” Tony looked at him in confusion.

“Yeah, no, I know that.” Peter swallowed, trying to think of the best way to phrase this. “But I mean like, when you become bonded to someone do your feelings for them…intensify? As a result of the bond?”

Tony immediately narrowed his eyes. “What kind of feelings?”

“Oh you know, just like general positive ones? Like would I automatically feel more positively towards my bond-mate just because we’re bonded, and not because I actually felt that way?” Peter could feel his blood pressure rising as he tried desperately to skirt around the real reason he was asking.

Tony was quiet for a few seconds, eyes still looking at him with nothing but suspicion, before he finally spoke.

“And these ‘positive’ feelings, are they completely new? Or are they magnified versions of something you felt before?”

“A little of both I guess?” Peter answered honestly.

“Well, putting aside what I think you’re really asking here, because I do not have the emotional energy to deal with that right now, the simple answer is no. At least not in my experience. I haven’t seen any instances of bonds themselves causing new emotions to manifest, outside of an increased level of dependency in some cases. In fact, I would say if anything a bond makes it more difficult for ‘positive’ feelings to develop out of the blue.” Tony’s words were calm, but Peter could see a small twitch developing above his eyebrow.

“Why would it be more difficult?” Peter asked carefully, not wanting to push his luck.

“Well think about it Pete, you’re suddenly forced to experience every aspect of your partner’s emotional state at all times, good and bad. And you have their presence forcibly thrust into your consciousness at every moment. That situation doesn’t exactly lend itself to the development of ‘positive’ feelings.”

“But it could under the right circumstances then, couldn’t it?”

“No Peter, it doesn’t work like that. A bond isn’t some separate entity that exists to connect you two, it’s a part of you. It is you. It doesn’t have its own agenda, and the increased sensitivity between you isn’t going to suddenly make feelings appear out of thin air. It might just make you more aware of them.”

Peter nodded, not really knowing how to answer. He understood what Tony was saying, but he refused to believe that he was so out of touch with his own emotions that he simply would have let something this big slip past him until now.

“Look kid, I don’t even know if I’m the best person to be asking about this. As we’ve established my bond didn’t exactly win any prizes for success, but maybe it’s time for you to talk to Cap and Bucky.” 

The thought alone instantly made Peter nervous. “No, no, I don’t think that’s necessary, I’ll figure it out I’m sure.”

Tony sighed. “Peter, talk to Wade then, I think you’re probably worrying over nothing.”

“Maybe, but I generally prefer to deal with my problems by not dealing with them at all. It’s been vaguely successful so far.” 

“Suit yourself, but I’m pretty sure Wade has just as many ‘positive’ feelings as you do.” Tony shook his head as Peter’s face heated to a thousand degrees.

“Cool, yeah, of course, obviously because we’re best bros. I gotta go now though, okay? I just remembered I have things. Lots of things. But good talk, thanks, love to the kids, bye.” Peter was literally climbing out of the window as he spoke, not bothering to pretend he was even remotely calm at this point.

Once he was gone Tony picked up his soldering iron with a small laugh and got back to work.

“Friday, what are the current standings in the Spideypool stakes?”

“All current Avengers are active participants in the pot. Dr Banner’s estimate period will expire soon, as his prediction was for before the new year. After that the closest date is Valentine’s day, which will create a tie between yourself and Dr Strange.”

“Excellent, thank you Friday.” Tony smiled down at his bench. “Those two idiots better hurry it up, no ways I’m losing to Banner.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would 100% have made a betting pool too.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed it! As always, I would love to hear any thoughts you might have.


	9. Bonus Christmas Chapter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise! Another chapter as my gift to you.
> 
> This is actually just a little extra piece I wrote that was supposed to be in the previous chapter, but it ended up being way longer than I'd planned, so I decided to post it as a shorter bonus chapter.
> 
> It pretty much has no relevance to the plot thus far, and it's essentially just gratuitous Christmas fluff, so feel free to skip it if you want to. 
> 
> Also thank you so much for the amazing response to the previous chapter so far!

Peter woke up with a start, not exactly sure what had caused the disturbance in his sleep, but knowing that something was definitely not right. He took a second for his body to adjust to consciousness, and he slowly blinked his eyes as they became accustomed to the darkness. His Spidey-sense wasn’t alerting him to anything, so he figured there probably wasn’t any immediate danger, but he couldn’t shake the feeling that something was off.

He was just about to get out of bed when he heard a soft thump coming from the living room, and immediately he ran for his bedroom door, readying himself for whatever might be on the other side. He took a breath and pulled the door open, fully prepared to meet some kind of evil assailant, but what he saw in front of him made him stop in his tracks.

Wade was standing in the middle of his living room wearing a full Santa suit, and carrying the biggest armful of tinsel Peter had ever seen. Peter blinked in disbelief as he looked around the rest of the room, noticing now that it was a lot more ‘Christmassy’ than when he’d gone to sleep.

“Well this is definitely a dream, that’s the last time I eat cheese before bed.” He said out loud, not feeling mentally equipped to deal with the situation in his current state of sleepiness.

There were little Christmas trinkets decorating almost every surface in his apartment, and he spied what looked very much like handmade snowflakes and paper chains hanging from the ceiling. The most surreal part though was the pretty sizeable Christmas tree which was now standing in the corner of the room, completely bare save for a small Deadpool figurine which was perched on the top.

“Peter, fancy meeting you here.” Wade finally spoke, trying to look as casual as possible, but almost immediately dropping some of the tinsel he was holding.

“Wade, this is my house.” Peter narrowed his eyes, still half convinced that none of this was real.

“Indeed it is. But how did you know I was here?” Wade asked, sounding slightly disappointed.

“Seriously? Do you think I wouldn’t notice someone turning my apartment into Santa’s fucking workshop in the middle of the night?” Peter stared at him in amazement.

“Ah man, and I focused so hard on concealing my presence from you. I really thought I was getting the hang of it.”

Peter opened his mouth to asked Wade what the hell he was even doing there in the first place, but then he suddenly understood the implications of what the man had just said.

“Why would you need to be able to conceal your presence from me?”

Immediately Wade’s eyes widened and he forcefully shook his head.

“Peter no, I didn’t mean it like that. It was literally just to try and surprise you, that’s all.”

Peter nodded slowly, still a little unsure of what on Earth was happening, but also feeling kind of embarrassed that he’d reacted so defensively.

“Right. Sorry, I didn’t mean to jump to any conclusions.”

“I know, you don’t have to apologize.” Wade finally put down the pile of decorations he was holding and walked over to where Peter was standing.

“Sooooo, care to explain what you’re doing in my house in the middle of the night with half the north pole?”

“Merry Christmas?” Wade said with clear uncertainty.

“Um you’re a bit late there Santapool, Christmas was yesterday.” Peter shook his head with a smile.

“I know. But you were doing family stuff with your aunt, and I didn’t get to see you, and…I’m an idiot.” Wade trailed off, running his hand self-consciously around the back of his neck.

Peter literally felt like his heart was going to explode with feelings as he looked at Wade standing awkwardly in front of him, and he immediately stepped forward and wrapped his arms around him, trying to fill him with reassurance.

“It’s really nice DP. Completely unnecessary, and pretty badly timed, but nice.”

Wade continued to stand stiffly for a few more seconds before he softened in Peter’s arms.

“I just wanted you to wake up to something good. I know you’re ridiculously busy between school, and Spider-Man biz, and dealing with me, so I just thought…”

“I don’t _deal_ with you Wade.” Peter cut him off immediately.

Wade let go of Peter and gave him a sceptical look, but he just ignored it in favour of more important things.

“I have something for you actually, just wait a sec.” Peter left a curious Deadpool behind in the living room and went to rummage through his closet.

After a few moments he walked back to where Wade was still standing patiently, and handed him a small present wrapped very haphazardly in some festive red and green paper he’d stolen at his aunt’s house.

“Jesus Petey, it looks like Blind Al wrapped this thing, and then it got into a fight with a blender. How did you manage to do this so badly?” Deadpool took the package in one hand, holding it up to examine the impressively bad wrapping.

“Shut up, I don’t spend all my free time on Pinterest like some people.” Peter looked a little embarrassed, but Wade just laughed.

He watched as Wade slowly ripped open the paper to reveal a set of children’s Spider-Man themed walkie-talkies, shaped like little Spidey heads.

Wade looked up at him for a second with an expression that he couldn’t quite read, before his face broke into a massive smile.

“These are fucking amazing!” He shouted like an excitable child, ripping open the packaging and cradling the devices in his hands as if they were his most precious possession.

“I thought they’d be cool for whenever we go on like patrols or whatever, so I’ll know if I ever need to come save your dumb ass.” Peter said, suddenly feeling a little self-conscious.

“This is going to be so great. What should our call signs be? I’ll be DoubleU, you know, like W, but also double because my name is Wade Wilson, so like two W’s. Get it? No? Okay I’ll keep workshopping. And you need to come up with yours too.” Wade offered one of the radios to him, looking more excited than Peter had seen him in a long time.

“I’m regretting this already.” Peter rolled his eyes with a smile as he took the radio from Wade.

“Thanks Petey-pie, I love them.” Wade gave him a final genuine smile, and Peter’s insides started doing the warm fuzzies.

“Okay, well since I’m up now how about we finish decorating the tree, and then we can watch Elf and drink hot chocolate until we pass out?” Peter grabbed some of the decorations and headed over to the corner as Wade nodded eagerly in reply.

He’d started hanging a few ornaments on the tree when he realized that Wade was being uncharacteristically quiet behind him, and he turned around to find the man standing there with an immaculately wrapped gift.

“I…got you something too. If it’s too corny, or if you don’t like it you obviously don’t have to use it, but…” Wade cut off, choosing instead to simply hand over the parcel.

Peter gently set down the little wooden reindeer he’d been holding, and took the present from Wade. He carefully unwrapped the paper to reveal what looked like a generic ugly Christmas sweater, but as he unfolded it he realized it had a tiny Spider-Man and Deadpool wearing Christmas hats knitted into the front, and the words ‘Soul Bros’ written across the chest.

“Wade, I love…it.” Peter caught himself at the last second.

“Really? Good, because I have one too.” Wade grinned as he opened his jacket to reveal a matching sweater beneath it, except his said ‘For Life’.

“We definitely have to wear these next time we visit Stark Tower.” Peter laughed a little harder than was necessary as he pictured Tony’s face.

“Peter no, that’s too evil. You’re going to give poor Tin Man a heart attack.” Wade smirked back.

“Thank you DP, this is…really perfect. Christmas is always a little hard without uncle Ben, and I just…” But he didn’t finish he sentence, realizing that Wade probably already knew exactly how he felt. 

“I’m just glad you’re here.”

Wade looked at him with a soft expression that Peter had never seen before. “I'll always be here Peter, whether you like it or not."

"Merry Christmas DP."

"Merry Christmas Spidey."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ewww, so much fluff.
> 
> (It might also be a little consolation piece going into the next chapter, but I won't say anything more than that.)
> 
> I hope you enjoyed the feels overload!


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year everyone! I hope you all have an excellent 2019!
> 
> Also woohoo, we’re going to get a little of Deadpool’s POV in this chapter...
> 
> Thank you to everyone who enjoyed the last two chapters, it looks like the Spideypool betting ring was definitely a hit haha.
> 
> Also for anyone interested I killed the song Sad Story by Merk and Kremont while I wrote this chapter. I hope you enjoy it!
> 
> (Also also I have a small side question. Are there any other tags you guys think I should add to this story? I suck at making tags so I was just wondering if there was anything you think I've missed.)

Peter raised his arms with a yawn, arching his back slightly to stretch out his tired muscles, but trying not to move too much to avoid waking the sleeping assassin currently sprawled out next to him.

He snuck a quick glance down at Wade, who had seemingly laughed himself to sleep while watching reruns of Fawlty Towers, and Peter smiled at how peaceful he looked. He watched the rise and fall of Wade’s solid chest as he breathed evenly, and laughed a little at how ungainly the man looked with his limbs thrown out in different directions across the couch. 

Since the nightmare incident Wade had seemed like he was trying to be much more careful about being vulnerable around him, so Peter was happy that he finally felt comfortable enough to let his guard down again.

He was getting a little more used to the fact that he liked to be in as much physical contact with Wade as possible, and for the most part Wade didn’t seem to mind either, but it was starting to concern him that he was becoming dependent on it. Despite this though he found himself reaching out and running his hand gently over Wade’s bicep, following the curve of the muscle until he reached his shoulder.

Wade sighed in his sleep and moved his head a little closer to Peter’s hand, scrunching his nose in a way that definitely wasn’t cute at all. Nope, nothing adorable about that.

Peter finally withdrew his hand and carefully lifted his laptop from where it was perched on his thighs, the paper he’d been trying to write for the last two hours still waiting patiently on his desktop. He stood up with the intent of getting a not so well-deserved snack from the kitchen, and he was halfway there when his phone suddenly began to ring in his pocket. 

He dived to answer it before it disturbed Deadpool’s nap-time.

“Hello?” He whispered quietly into the phone, making his way quickly into Wade’s bedroom and shutting the door

“Peter? Why are you whispering?” The sound of a slightly confused Bruce Banner came through the speaker.

“Oh sorry, no reason.” Peter said in a normal voice once the door was closed. He knew he had no real cause to hide the fact that he was over at Wade’s place, but for some reason he wanted to keep it to himself. Keep it just between them.

“Okay…well I was just calling to tell you I found some of those physics reference books you were looking for.” Bruce said in a slightly suspicious tone.

“Oh great, this is perfect timing. I’m actually really struggling with this paper, so do you think I could stop by and pick them up now?”

“Yeah no problem. A bunch of us are just hanging around doing some work at the tower, so feel free to drop by anytime.”

“Okay great, I’ll see you in a bit then.” Peter smiled, wondering if consulting with Tony Stark and Bruce Banner on his coursework counted as cheating in some way.

“Oh, and Peter?”

“Yeah Dr Banner?”

“Say hi to Wade for me.” Bruce let out a small chuckle and hung up the call, leaving Peter with his face a few degrees warmer than it had previously been.

He quickly shoved the phone back into his pocket and quietly opened the door again, but the caution was not necessary since he was immediately greeted by a smile and a yawn from a still very Sleepy-pool.

“Snooping around my private boudoir while I’m asleep are we Mr Parker?” Wade said in a voice still heavy with sleep.

“Idiot, I was just taking a phone call.” Peter walked back over to the couch with a laugh, taking a seat next to Wade as he began to gather up his things.

“Suuure. Well just for future reference I keep all the good stuff in the third drawer behind my ironic t-shirt collection.” Wade gave him a quick wink as he watched Peter’s actions with a curious expression.

“Unless the ‘good stuff’ is referring to some kind of stash of imported Belgian chocolates, I’m pretty sure I’m not interested. Also, I actually went in there so I didn’t disturb you while you were sleeping, so you’re welcome for being such a considerate, caring friend.” Peter gave him a huge fake smile as he shoved the last book into his backpack.

“Going somewhere?” Wade asked, not bothering to hide the obvious disappointment in his voice.

“Oh right, yeah I just need to swing by Stark Tower to grab some books from Dr Banner. It won’t take long I promise.” Peter put a reassuring hand on Wade’s knee as he spoke.

“Aw but Petey you promised we could go patrolling tonight. We haven’t been able to do cool superhero stuff in ages. Just think of all the poor little old ladies we haven’t helped to cross the street, or all the cats still stuck in trees.”

“Wade, I watched you try to help an old lady once and she beat you with her walking stick for talking about your weird Golden Girls fantasies. It didn’t end well for anyone involved.” Peter laughed as he remembered the incident. 

“She had a mean swing on her.” Wade said, sounding more impressed than anything else. “But still, I need to get out and do something fun. You knew when you adopted me that I needed to be walked regularly.”

Peter snorted. “Trust me, I want to get out and stretch my webs just as much as you do, but I need to get a jump start on my work before the new semester. I’ll be quick though I promise. Or…you could come with if you want?” Peter hesitated slightly on the last question.

“Ugh and listen to you nerds discuss science stuff? Nah I think I’ll finish my nap and meet you later.” Wade sounded pretty nonchalant as he spoke, but Peter could feel his anxiety at the mere mention of going near Stark Tower.

“DP you know Tony is all talk, right? He’s just trying to keep up his cool tough guy image, but it doesn’t mean you’re not welcome there.”

Wade immediately leveled him with a skeptical frown. “I would believe you Webs, but when he found out we were bonded he told me that if I ever hurt you, he’d literally bankrupt himself trying to find a way to reverse immortality. And he’s friends with a literal wizard, so I think I’m just going to stay here.”

“That’s just his way of showing he cares.” Peter said with an encouraging smile.

“About you yeah, you’re not the one who’ll end up as target practice for his lasers.”

“Wade, we’re a package deal, if I’m okay then you’re okay too. Plus if he ever laid a finger on you he would feel the full wrath of The Amazing Spider-Man™.” Peter put his free hand on his hip and puffed out his chest in classic hero stance, knowing full well that his size paled in comparison to Wade’s.

“Oh Petey, I like it when you get all protective over me.” Wade practically purred, sending a tiny shiver up Peter’s spine.

“Ew don’t make it weird.” Peter shook his head. “So, I’ll meet you out later then?”

“Yeah I think I’ll stop by and see Weasel for a bit while you’re gone. I haven’t seen him since everything happened, and I’m tired of waking up to his nagging texts.” Wade stretched his back as he spoke, and Peter couldn’t stop himself from watching the strong line of his neck as it came in to view.

He must have taken an unusually long amount of time to reply, because suddenly Wade was looking at him strangely, and he glanced down in embarrassment to find that his hand was still gripping Wade’s knee. His grip must have tightened noticeably while he watched the man stretching, and he quickly withdrew it in favour of grabbing his backpack.

“Right, good, that sounds good. Well have fun, be safe, wear a jacket, I’ll see you later.” Peter was walking towards the window as he spoke, willing his face not to change colour.

“Peter wait, do you…was that…”

But before he could hear what Wade was trying to ask him, he’d already launched himself off the side of the balcony and into the cold evening air.

***

Peter was so focused on thinking about how much he might have just potentially fucked things up, that he didn’t even register the fact that he should have knocked before simply climbing in through Tony Stark’s office window.

As would be expected Tony didn’t look too surprised to see him, but Bruce had let out a surprisingly high pitched squeak, and dropped the very intricate looking metal device he was holding.

Peter couldn’t help the small laugh that escaped his lips as he watched Bruce scrambling to catch the fallen object. He sometimes had a hard time remembering that this anxious squish of a man shared his body with one of the strongest beings in the universe.

“Sorry about that Dr Banner, did I scare you?” He asked apologetically as the man in question straightened up.

“What? No, of course not.” Bruce replied casually, leaning against a desk in an attempt to look cool.

Beside him Tony was nodding vigorously with a smirk, mouthing the words ‘definitely scared him’ in Peter’s direction. 

Bruce shot him a small glare and Tony immediately stopped. “Give us a little warning next time kid, I don’t want the big guy making a mess of my office.”

“Sorry, I got caught up thinking about something and I kind of forgot that most people don’t regularly enter places through the window.” Peter smiled at Bruce in remorse.

“Oh? What were you thinking about?” Tony asked with a little too much interest to seem casual.

“Nothing important, I was just…” But Peter trailed off mid-sentence, suddenly forgetting what it is he wanted to say.

He stood still for a second, opening his mouth to try again, when his body was suddenly flooded by the most intense, crippling agony he’d ever experienced. He immediately doubled over, his vision going blurry as the pain pushed its way through every nerve in his body, biting at his organs and squeezing around his lungs. He gasped for breath as he tried desperately to grab at something, anything, that might anchor him again.

He was vaguely aware of Tony and Bruce next to him, strong hands on his arms and concerned voices in his ears, and just when he thought he couldn’t take the pain anymore, it was suddenly gone.

In its place now though was something far more terrible, and Peter would have taken the pain back in a second. Now there was nothing but a vast coldness and despair that ripped through him like a tidal wave, pushing out every shred of warmth and happiness he’d ever felt, and leaving him nothing but an empty shell. The sensation caused him to lurch sideways and vomit, his throat burning as he collapsed to the ground.

Black spots started to fill his vision as he slowly began to lose consciousness, and the last thought that crossed his mind before everything went dark was how desperately he needed Wade.

***

It was around three hours later when a furious and bloody Deadpool made his way into Stark Tower, and Tony was immediately there to greet him, along with a few of the other Avengers.

“What the fuck did you do?” Tony shouted as he strode over to meet the ex-merc head on, ignoring the fact that Deadpool was significantly larger and more armed than he currently was.

“Where is Peter?” Wade completely ignored Tony’s question, looking around frantically for any sign of his Spider-Man.

“Like I’d let you anywhere near him, what the hell did you do?” Tony repeated, not taking his eyes off the man in front of him.

Before anyone could react Deadpool had drawn one of his katanas from its sheath on his back, and he grabbed Tony by the collar, forcing the blade very close to his neck, but not quite touching it. He didn’t really want to hurt the man, but his desperation to see Peter was clouding his judgement.

“Where. The fuck. Is Peter?” He said between gritted teeth.

Almost immediately he could feel the others in the room readying themselves to fight, but Wade didn’t back down.

“Deadpool you need to calm down, we just want to figure out what happened.” Bruce suddenly appeared at Wade’s side, putting a cautious hand on the sword-wielding arm.

“I’m not going to calm down until someone tells me where the fuck Peter is.” Wade tightened his grip on Tony’s shirt for emphasis.

“Don’t be stupid Mr Wilson, there is literally no scenario in which you’ll walk away from this on top. Just calm down and we’ll discuss everything. Think about what’s best for Mr Parker.” Dr Strange spoke calmly from somewhere behind him.

At the mention of Peter’s name Wade slowly loosened his grip, the hand holding his katana falling slack at his side. He knew that if he got hurt here it was only going to make things worse for Peter, and he couldn’t let that happen.

“Please.” His voice was strained with desperation. “Please I have to see him, I can barely feel him anymore. Why can’t I feel him?”

“Tony you know he’s right, it’ll be better for Peter too.” Bruce was now looking at them both with concern.

“I’d like to give Mr Wilson a once over as well, I want to make sure everything is still functioning properly for him.” Stephen added firmly.

Tony continued to glare at him for a few more seconds before he gave one short nod.

“Fine, follow me.” He stalked off down the hallway, and Wade followed closely at his heels.

They quickly found themselves in one of Tony’s many research labs, and Dr Strange indicated for Wade to sit down.

“I just want to take a quick look, it won’t take long. Then we’ll take you to him.” Stephen’s voice was filled with an understanding that Wade didn’t expect.

Wade was still bristling with a need to see Peter, but he figured that the quicker they got this over with, the quicker that would happen.

He sat down in a chair silently as the three men in the room watched him, and Stephen came over to put a light grip on his wrist. Wade had no idea what was happening, but he also had no doubt that the wizard knew what he was doing.

After a few seconds Stephen sighed, and let go of his wrist. “Well, luckily for you everything still seems to be mostly in tact on your side, but this entire situation is completely unprecedented. Now what exactly happened?”

Wade hesitated as the memories flooded back to him. Well, what little he could remember of them anyway.

“Look, I don’t even really know what happened. I was just minding my own business, having a drink at the bar, and someone came up behind me and shot me clean through the head. I still don’t really know who or why, because he was gone when I came around, but all I know is that something was different when I woke up. I couldn’t feel Peter like before.” Wade said in a quiet voice that sounded very unnatural coming from him.

“Oh god, you died?” Bruce whispered out.

“Yeah, but I’m all good now I promise. I wasn’t out for very long.” Wade pulled off his mask to make a show of the fact that there was no bullet wound left.

“Wilson do you have any idea what kind of damage you’ve done?” Tony ground out, no longer sounding angry. Now his voiced sounded almost scared.

The panic in Wade was building to almost unmanageable levels, and he shifted around in the chair, his willpower alone keeping him from rampaging through the building looking for Peter.

“But I healed. I know Peter probably felt the pain, but…it must have only been for a second. I came back straight away, I’m fine.” The guilt rising in his throat as he thought about Peter experiencing his death was starting to make him feel sick.

“Fuck. But his soul didn’t know you were going to revive you idiot, so it reacted the same way it would have if you were really dead. The only reason he’s not in worse shape is because you regenerated so fucking fast.” Tony’s voice was beginning to rise, the fear now very apparent.

“Wade, losing your bond-mate through death is probably the most traumatic thing a partner can experience. It can drive people crazy, people can…” Bruce trailed off there, not wanting to even finish the thought.

“You almost severed your bond Mr Wilson, and Peter felt everything.” Dr Strange added, not bothering to sugar coat his words.

“But he’s okay right? I came back, so he has to be okay.” Wade felt tears coming to his eyes as he spoke. He pushed at their bond in a hope to feel something more, but the link was just as dull as it had been before. The only thing keeping him from breaking down completely was the fact that it was still there, no matter how weak.

“He hasn’t woken up yet, so we don’t know for sure, but I guess you could say physically he’s okay.” Stephen gave him a sympathetic look.

“But you need to be prepared for what might happen when he does wake up, everything could be different for you two now.” The level of concern in Bruce’s voice was almost overwhelming.

“Take me to him.” Wade stood up and started walking towards the door, he couldn’t wait any longer.

Thankfully there was no more protest from the other men, and he followed them back to the room they’d been in all those weeks ago, when he’d first heard the news.

Tony opened the door for him, but before he let him inside he grabbed his arm and spoke in a low voice.

“Look Wilson, I know neither of us are fans of each other, but I know we both agree how important Peter is, so please…he needs you. All of you.” Tony didn’t wait for him to respond as he let go of his arm, and Wade was finally free to go into the room.

The door closed with a soft click behind him, and he was over at the bed in an instant. Peter was there just as he’d been the first time, looking for all the world like he was just taking a nap, and it broke Wade’s heart.

He immediately began to remove all of the weapons and armour he’d been wearing, peeling off his suit and undershirt until his upper body was completely bare. He then gently lifted the covers next to Peter and slid in beside him.

Peter was still in the same clothes he’d been wearing when he left the apartment earlier, and Wade carefully pulled off his t-shirt, leaving his chest exposed. He drew Peter’s smaller frame slowly into his own, wrapping his arms around him and creating as much contact between them as possible. He was surprised by how cold Peter felt, and it only served to drive him even closer.

At first there was no reaction, but after a few seconds Wade felt Peter’s hand clench weakly at his back, and he felt like he could breathe for the first time since he’d woken up.

“Come on baby boy, nap-time is over, it’s time to wake up.” Wade whispered softly as he placed a kiss on the top of Peter’s head, tightening his hold ever so slightly.

He focused all of himself into grasping at their bond, tightening his grip around it and pulling Peter in as close as he could. He didn’t care how much of himself he needed to give, Peter could take it all, he just needed him to be okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Man I felt so icky writing this last part, I even made myself sad.
> 
> Please let me know what you thought!


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Firstly I'm sooo sorry for leaving you on a cliffhanger for so long. My last update coincided with the busiest time of the year at work, and I haven't been able to spend any time writing :(
> 
> But anyway, I'm so thankful for all the support you guys showed for the last chapter, it gave me so many warm feels.
> 
> I hope you enjoy this one too!

“Wilson, you need to eat something. You’ve been sitting here for three days.” Tony Stark’s fatigue laden voice came abruptly from the doorway, pulling Wade from his thoughts.

“Ah, well that’s where you’re wrong smarty pants, I actually don’t need to eat. One of the many perks of being immortal.” Wade didn’t bother to move his eyes from Peter’s sleeping form in front of him.

“You know what I mean Wade, you need to do something other than just sitting here and hoping for things to change.” Tony had walked further into the room now, but his voice was still soft.

“Yeah? What exactly am I meant to be doing? Because from where I’m sitting there’s nothing out there that is even remotely more important right now.” Wade said dismissively, edging a little closer to Peter.

Tony paused. “You could be looking for whoever shot you. Don’t you want some kind of explanation?”

“What would be the point? It was probably just some small fry asshole with a grudge. All he did was shoot me, which any idiot knows isn’t going to do much in the long run, so I doubt he’s the next great threat against world peace.” Wade finally looked up at Tony, and the expression of worry he saw was as bad as he’d expected.

Tony was quiet for a few moments as he watched Peter lying motionless in the bed.

“Has there been any change?”

“Nothing to write home about. He’s been moving in his sleep a little more than before, but not much else has changed.” Wade straightened his back slightly as he realized he’d been hunched in the same position for too long.

Tony simply sighed and turned back towards the door, looking like he was about to give up and leave, but he paused for a second when his fingers reached the handle.

“Fury wants to see you. I told him to give you time, but he…anyway I just thought I’d let you know.”

“Is he here?” Wade could already guess what Fury's presence meant. 

“Yeah. He said it would be in your best interest to see him now, but I can tell him to get the hell out if you’d like?” The distaste in Tony’s voice was quite apparent.

“No, he’s right, I should see him. Just…just give me a second.” Wade ran a weary hand over his face at the prospect of what awaited him.

Tony simply nodded and left the room quietly, shutting the door behind him.

Wade immediately turned his full attention back to Peter, slowly getting up from his chair and lowering himself onto the bed so that he was face to face with the smaller man. He was close enough that he could feel Peter’s breath coming out in small puffs on his cheek, and he reached up to run his hand through the messy brown hair that was a little matted to Peter’s head after so many days in bed.

“Come on Petey, you’ve got to help me out here. Just tell me what I need to do to fix things.” Wade stared desperately at Peter’s face as he spoke, pushing out to tug at their bond as he’d done so many times over the past few days.

But there was still no change, no indication whatsoever from Peter that he was even aware of Wade’s presence, so eventually he got up with a sigh and made his way slowly towards the door.

“You can’t leave all of these big decisions up to me Spidey, you know I’m not the brains of this outfit.” Wade gave him one last look before reluctantly walking out of the door.

He made his way through to Tony’s office, spending the entire walk there contemplating what Fury might tell him, but not fully allowing himself to accept what he knew he was going to hear.

Upon reaching said room he opened the door without bothering to knock, and he was greeted by a few faces he hadn’t quite expected to see. Fury was there of course, looking just as serious as usual, but the presence of Captain America and Bucky Barnes was definitely a surprise addition.

“Fury, Cap, tall dark and broody, to what do I owe this esteemed audience with the council?” Wade strolled into the room casually, trying his best to mask the nerves that were settling in his stomach.

Bucky simply rolled his eyes as Cap shook his head with a small smile. Fury however looked visibly irritated at the presence of the two other men.

“How are you doing Wade?” Cap asked with a sincerity that was pure Steve Rogers.

“Oh I’m just dandy, no complaints here.” Wade waved his hand dismissively.

“Mr Wilson, don’t you think now is the time to be a bit more serious?” Fury’s slightly annoyed voice rang through his ears.

“Well you should all know by now that I deal with any serious situations through my impeccable wit and timing. It’s what makes me such a loveable character.” Wade forced a smile that took more of his strength than he’d expected.

Steve simply sighed and turned towards Fury. “Give him a break, you have no idea how difficult this must be for him.” 

Wade watched with interest as Bucky discreetly placed his hand on Steve’s back as he spoke, and he suddenly realized that they were probably the only people in the world who knew how he felt.

Fury however simply gave Wade a stern look and took a few more steps towards him.

“Look, I’m going to be honest with you Wilson, I’m not even completely sure what the right call is here, but I’ll be damned if we lose someone with as much potential as Spider-Man. So we need to do something.”

“Peter.” Wade replied immediately.

“What?” Fury asked with a frown.

“We don’t want to lose _Peter_. Spider-Man isn’t the only thing that makes him valuable.” Wade bit out the words as a wave of annoyance washed over him.

“Of course not, I’m not suggesting that it is. I’m just saying we need to try and figure out how to fix this.” Fury gave Wade a look of concern that softened his anger slightly.

“I know, I just…anyway what did you want to see me about?” Wade asked with a sigh of resignation.

"Well we wanted to offer you a possible solution to this problem. If the bond is causing Peter distress, we could do something about it." Fury was apparently trying to sugar-coat his words, but Wade saw right through them.

“Wade before Fury says anything more, I’m advising you to think seriously about SHIELD’s involvement with your bond in any way.” Steve suddenly spoke up, the urgency in his voice startling Wade a little.

“Rogers, I told you not to interfere in this.” Fury said through clenched teeth.

“And what? You expect me to stand by and watch after knowing what you did to Buck and I? And Tony? I won’t let it happen again Fury.” Steve was physically irritated now, his stature seeming even more intimidating as his emotions swelled.

Bucky was still silent by Steve’s side, but the expression on his face and the tight grip he now had around Steve’s arm told Wade all he needed to know about how he was feeling.

“So what exactly are you suggesting we do here? Let Peter continue to be bonded with someone who is continually posing a risk to him? Who knows what could happen next time Wilson dies? We might not be so lucky.” Fury’s words settled in Wade’s chest like a lead weight as he watched the two men argue.

“You have no idea what you’re talking about. Bonds like ours are stronger than any of you ever imagined. You said it yourself when Bucky came back, no one predicted that our bond would survive everything. I wasn’t even fully aware of it myself, or I would have never agreed to any of your half-baked ideas.” Steve was now fuming, but Wade suddenly felt a spark of hope as he listened to the man’s words.

“You mean…there were times when you couldn’t feel Bucky? When the bond was weaker?” The words were out of Wade’s mouth before he realized what he was asking.

Immediately Steve’s face softened as he turned to look at Wade. 

“Yes. There was a long time when I thought it was gone forever, but I guess some part of me was always holding on to it.” The reassurance in his words gave Wade the first sense of calm he’d felt in days.

“But if I stay with him, if I keep dying…I just don’t want to hurt him.” Wade was desperate for answers, but from the look on Steve’s face he knew that there were no easy solutions to this.

He expected to hear more encouraging words, or perhaps more urgent ones from Fury, but to his surprise it was Bucky who spoke first. 

“It gets stronger.” He said plainly. “Every time it’s torn, every time it’s almost broken, it gets stronger. I don’t know how to explain it, maybe you can think of it like a deep wound healing over with scar tissue, but I can promise you it’ll get easier.” 

Wade considered his words for a moment, the true weight of what he had said causing an ugly knot of guilt to form in his chest.

“I can’t do that to Peter. I can’t let him get hurt over and over again and expect him to get stronger alone because of me. He deserves more than I’m able to give him.” Wade was looking at Fury now, and the director gave him an understanding nod, seeming to recognize what Wade was implying.

“I won’t lie and say there won’t be any risk involved, we’ve never attempted to separate a naturally bonded pair, but I think you’re making the right decision Wilson. For Peter’s sake.” 

Steve looked at him with wide eyes, his mouth immediately falling open in protest. “Wade no, we can find another way, you don’t know what could…”

But his voice was cut off by a pained cry that echoed suddenly through the building, and immediately Wade knew exactly where he needed to be.

He bolted from the room without so much as a glance backward at the other men, and made his way back to Peter as fast as he could.

He burst through the door and found Peter sitting up in bed, his eyes wide with shock, and tears falling from them in sheer panic. The second he laid eyes on Wade he let out a much softer cry than before, and leaned forward across the bed in his direction. 

“Wade…” Was all Peter managed to get out before Wade was at his side in an instant.

“I’m here…” He reached out to touch Peter’s cheek, but the second his hand made contact Peter drew back in obvious fear.

“No, don't!” He shouted, the look on his face was something Wade had never seen before.

Wade immediately withdrew his hand, but he didn’t move from his place at the bed side.

“Okay, I’m sorry, it’s okay.” He tried to soothe Peter as best he could, but the way the smaller man was now curled up against the wall made his heart break.

“I can still feel it…” Peter whispered out, so softly that Wade almost didn’t catch it.

“What can you feel baby boy?” Wade hesitantly took a step forward, watching for any negative reaction from Peter.

“The cold, the emptiness, it’s still inside me.” Peter didn’t look at Wade as he spoke, his eyes were fixed on the sheets below him.

The words cut through Wade like a knife, and he wanted nothing more than to take Peter in his arms and show him that he was okay, that he wasn’t going anywhere.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry Peter.” 

Peter was quite for a few seconds before his head slowly lifted, and wide fear-filled eyes met Wade’s.

“I couldn’t find you Wade, and I felt like…like I died too.” His words were harsh, but there was no hint of malice in them, only sorrow.

Wade couldn’t contain himself any longer, and he moved forward slowly, giving Peter plenty of time to protest. To his relief though he met no resistance, and he climbed onto the bed next to the small huddled frame, pulling Peter gently into his arms.

After that it was like the floodgates had opened, and Peter’s strong hands gripped so tightly at his back that he knew under normal circumstances they would leave bruises. He allowed himself to be forced backwards against the wall, Peter pushing so hard against him that it became difficult to breathe.

“No, no it’s not right. Why can’t I feel you?” Peter had begun to shake against him, clinging even tighter to his back.

“I know, we’ll fix it I promise, I’m here Petey, just breathe.” Wade began to rub circles on Peter’s back, trying as best he could to calm the shaking.

He slowly felt a strange pressure begin to build in his chest, like something was trying to pull at his emotions, and draw them closer to the surface. It wasn’t unlike the first time Peter had tried to push through his barriers all those weeks ago, but this time he let him. He opened himself up as much as he could, knowing that Peter was trying just as desperately to feel things the way they did before, but before he could get any further a sharp pain shot through his head, and he recoiled instinctively, pushing Peter away from him.

Peter looked like he had probably felt it too, but more than anything he looked desperate, and his face held so much pain that Wade couldn’t bear it.

“Peter...” Wade didn’t know what to say that could make things better.

Peter looked at him with searching eyes, pushing him for answers he just didn’t have, and before he knew what was really happening Peter surged forward and he felt frantic lips against his.

The desperation with which Peter kissed him sent Wade’s mind reeling, and it took him a few seconds to catch up with what was taking place. Peter clung to him again, lips moving harshly against his as the space was closed between them. He felt the familiar pressure pushing its way through his chest once more, and he found himself getting lost in the feeling of connection that was growing between them.

He couldn’t describe what kissing Peter felt like in that moment, it wasn’t even remotely like anything he’d experienced before. It just felt like an extension of themselves, pushing back the broken pieces and knitting them together.

All at once he felt everything flooding back, the pain, the desperation, the anxiety. But more than all those things there was such an overwhelming feeling of love that Wade thought his heart was going to burst. He felt wet tears dripping onto his cheek, and he didn’t know whether they were from his own eyes, or Peter’s, but it didn’t matter. All that mattered now was that they were together again, and Wade felt more complete than he ever had.

***

It was a good time later when Wade realized they should probably let someone know what had happened. Or rather, at least let them know that Peter was okay.

Peter was currently curled up against his chest, breathing lightly as he dozed, one hand firmly gripping the fabric of Wade’s shirt.

“I can’t believe you’re sleeping again, that’s all you’ve done for the last three days. How much rest does one little spider need?” He whispered quietly, watching the way Peter’s hand rose and fell in time with his breathing.

“A lot. And so do you.” Tony’s voice suddenly spoke softly from the doorway, and Wade wondered how the hell he’d managed to sneak in so quietly.

“I’m okay, I’d rather just keep an eye on him.” Wade wasn’t about to let Peter out of his sight under any circumstances.

“How is he doing?” Tony walked a little closer to the bed, careful to keep his footsteps quiet.

“Better. Everything is better.” Wade couldn’t help the smile that spread across his face.

“I figured.” Tony replied with a soft laugh.

“Wait…you weren’t spying on us, were you?” Wade’s heart suddenly dropped as he realized Tony probably had this entire building laced with cameras.

“No dumbass, but I assumed since you’ve been in here a while that things went okay.” Tony sounded casual, but his face suggested he knew a lot more than he was letting on.

“Thank you by the way, I assume you kept everyone out?” Wade was grateful that no one had bothered them earlier.

“No problem, it isn’t anyone’s place to interfere.” Tony sounded like he was talking about more than just Peter waking up.

Wade nodded quietly and glanced down at Peter who hadn’t so much as stirred in his sleep.

“I’m assuming someone told you about what Fury said then?” Wade suddenly felt another surge of the guilt he’d tried to bury from earlier.

“Steve. He’s worried you’re making the wrong decision, and so am I.” Tony looked more sincere than Wade had ever seen him.

“Look, I can’t risk it. If this happens every time some asshole decides to put a bullet through my head it’s going to hurt Peter even more, and I won’t let that happen.”

“I understand, but we can find a better way around this. Peter, he…he cares about you so much. It’ll break him.” Tony’s voice was becoming more urgent, and Peter suddenly stirred a little, tightening his grip on Wade’s shirt.

“I know, but I don’t know what else to do. I…can’t do this to someone I love.” Wade lowered his voice even more, his eyes leaving Peter’s sleeping face to plead with the man in front of him. He didn’t care what he’d just admitted, it wasn’t like he’d be able to hide it anymore anyway.

Tony’s face immediately softened in a way Wade hadn’t expected.

“I know I’ve given you a hard time about everything, but please trust me when I say that this is not the solution. You can’t possibly imagine what separating will do to both of you, not to mention the fact that there is no proof it’ll even work on a natural bond. Just think about it.” He sounded so sure of his words that Wade finally relented with a sigh.

“Okay, I’ll think about it. Just please, don’t tell Peter. He wouldn’t understand.” Wade whispered out, even the thought of keeping something from his partner causing his chest to ache.

“Fine, but I’m counting on you to make the right decision. Get some rest Wilson.” 

And with that Tony left the room, shutting the door carefully behind him.

Wade dropped his head back against the wall in exhaustion, careful not to jostle Peter too much. The fatigue of everything had suddenly hit him like a ton of bricks, and he finally closed his eyes, knowing that he’d have a lot to think about when he woke up.

He was so caught up in his thoughts however that he didn’t notice how Peter’s breathing had suddenly changed, and how there were tears now dripping from the tightly shut eyes. He drifted off to sleep without even realising that Peter was awake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Weeellll a little happy and a little sad? I don't even know how to feel to be honest.
> 
> Let me know what you thought!
> 
> (Also I know it's pretty inconsistent throughout the canon, but I know Cap and DP have a fairly decent relationship in a lot of instances, so I'm going to go with that for my story's sake.)


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well I am finally on vacation after the most stressful two weeks I've had in ages! So happy to get back to some Spideypool writing.
> 
> Sorry again for leaving you all hanging for longer than intended, I hope you enjoy the new chapter though!
> 
> (Also I've been re-watching Spartacus over the last few days and now all I can think about is an AU where Spidey and DP are gladiators. Perhaps a weird venture for the future...)
> 
> Enjoy!

Peter was slowly drawn into consciousness by the tone of hushed voices whispering around him. He was immediately aware that the solid chest beneath him belonged to Wade, and he snuggled a little further into the warmth, relishing in the fact that he could finally feel everything again. He was so content with his position that he hadn’t really bothered to listen to what was being said around him, and it wasn’t until a wave of anxiety rippled through Wade that he began to pay attention.

He felt his entire world beginning to crash down around him when he finally realised what Tony and Wade were saying, and he froze in disbelief at what he was hearing. There was no way that after everything Wade was considering going to SHIELD now, not without telling him about it. He barely managed to catch the end of the conversation as he focused all his effort on keeping the fact that he was awake from Wade, but he couldn’t help the tears that had begun to form in his eyes.

After Tony had left the room he felt Wade relax under him, but the feelings of guilt and tension were still very much there. It wasn’t long before Wade’s breathing evened out though, and Peter could finally move from his position. He carefully lifted himself up and climbed off the side of the bed, stealing one last look at Wade’s sleeping form before he headed towards the window.

He had fully intended to climb out of it and get as far away from there as possible, as far away from the feelings of rejection and desperation as he could, but just as his hand touched the cold glass he was suddenly overcome with a feeling of fierce possessiveness, and he immediately changed his course, heading out of the bedroom door.

He marched down the hallway with a determination he had never felt before, and burst through the heavy wooden door into Tony’s office. The man had obviously only just sat down, and he looked startled to see him.

“Peter, you’re awake. How are you feeling?” He scrambled to ask in confusion.

“Where is Fury?” Peter ignored Tony’s question.

“What? He’s busy talking with Steve in the next room. How do you know Fury…” But Peter was already heading out of the door before he could finish his sentence.

He felt his blood begin to boil as he paced towards the neighbouring door, all thoughts of calm and rationality being pushed from his thoughts by the crushing sense of fear that had enveloped his mind. He wasn’t going to just sit by and let this happen, not when they both finally knew how they felt about each other.

Tony was following close behind him at this point, but Peter didn’t even bother to acknowledge the barrage of questions that were being thrown at him. He only had one goal in his mind to focus on now.

He pushed through the door with an unnecessary amount of force, and was immediately greeted by the surprised faces of Nick Fury and Captain America. Fury opened his mouth, seemingly to address him, but Peter was in front of him before he could get a word out.

Peter grabbed Fury by the front of his shirt, using his enhanced strength to his advantage and lifting the sizable man until his feet were almost off the ground. It was rare that he ever showed off his power, but in his current state he found that he couldn’t really control himself.

“Don’t come near me or Wade ever again.” He spat out, ignoring the sounds of protest from Tony behind him.

Immediately Cap was by his side, placing a careful hand on his arm. “Calm down Peter, this is only going to make things worse.” 

Peter felt the strength of Steve’s grip on his bicep, and a little of his sense seemed to come back to him. He lowered Fury slowly to the floor again, releasing the grip on his shirt, but not backing down from his position.

“Listen to me Parker, no one is trying to threaten you or Wade, I’m only offering a solution to an obvious issue. It would be best for you to choose your actions a little more carefully.” Fury said with the composure only someone of his experience could muster in this situation.

“And it would be best for you to choose your words more carefully, Director. Trying to emotionally manipulate someone who already struggles with issues of guilt is as good as a threat. And if you threaten Wade, you threaten me.” Peter was still seething as he spoke, his need to protect Wade and their bond fuelling his words with aggression.

“Peter trust me, I understand what you’re feeling right now, but you’re going to regret it if you do anything stupid. Calm down and we’ll figure this out together.” Tony spoke softly from behind him, placing a reassuring hand on his shoulder.

Immediately Peter whipped around, now focusing his anger at Tony. “Oh sure, we’ll figure it out _together_. How can I trust you when you were just going to leave me in the dark about all of this and let Wade make this decision by himself? I won’t let him go Tony, I can’t lose him. I love him.”

“Peter…” A voice suddenly spoke from the doorway, and Peter spun around to find Wade staring at him with a look of quiet shock on his face.

Peter looked at Wade for a few seconds, some of the fear-fuelled anger trickling away as he felt waves of both sadness and warmth coming from the man in front of him.

“You promised.” Was all Peter said as Wade walked slowly towards him.

“I know.” Wade reached for Peter’s hand, but Peter immediately snatched it away.

“Don’t, you’re just going to confuse me. What you feel and what you do are apparently two very different things.” Peter took a step backwards, but even the distance between them couldn’t keep out the regret that seemed to be pouring into the room, permeating the air and clouding Peter’s mind. He wanted to run from it just as much as he wanted to embrace it and make it disappear.

“I think maybe we should give them some time.” Cap spoke quietly to the other men, but Peter shook his head.

“Why bother? You were all quite happy to get involved before, why stop here?” Peter’s emotions were getting the better of him, and Steve looked at him with an expression of painful understanding.

“We’re all in your corner kid, nobody here is going to make you do anything you don’t want to do. This isn’t our decision to make.” Peter didn’t miss the stern look Steve directed at Fury as he spoke.

“I’m not trying to force anyone to make decisions they aren’t comfortable with Rogers, I’m just giving them options.” Fury spoke up in his own defence.

“I know, I just…fuck I need to get out of here.” Peter could feel pressure building in his chest as he struggled to keep a handle on the flood of emotions that were assaulting his mind. Wade’s remorse and desperation was coupling with his anger and fear, and the result was making him feel claustrophobic.

He strode towards the door, looking for all the world like he was going to walk right past Wade, when he was stopped by the most pained words he’d ever heard Deadpool say.

“Please, don’t leave me behind.”

Peter turned his head in disbelief, as if Wade had just said the most ridiculous thing in the world. “That’s the whole point you moron, I don’t ever want to leave you behind. I want you to be with me forever, no matter what the cost.”

Wade was silent again, and Peter could feel the need to be closer practically radiating from him.

“Come on, let’s get out of here. If we’re allowed to leave that is.” He shot a questioning look to Fury who simply raised his hands in surrender. 

“No one is trying to stop you. Once you’ve figured it out you know where to find me.” 

Peter took the man’s words as all the permission he needed, and grabbed Wade by the wrist, tugging him towards the door.

Wade offered no form of protest, he simply followed Peter’s lead, carefully slipping his hand through the grip on his wrist and lacing their fingers together instead. Peter did his best to ignore the overwhelming warmth that now radiated through his body, knowing that he couldn’t let it cloud his judgement.

Before leaving he paused at the door to turn and address the other two men in the room.

“I’m sorry about what I said before. I know you’ve both been looking out for us, and I know you understand better than anyone what we’re going through, but we need some time to work this out alone.”

Tony gave him a warm smile that didn’t completely hide the sadness in his eyes. “Make good choices kid.”

Peter nodded firmly, noting the small smile and nod Steve gave them both before he tugged Wade through the door.

***

The journey back to Peter’s apartment was silent and awkward, too many emotions marring their ability to think clearly, but as soon as they were alone inside Peter’s small living room some of the tension eased away.

Wade turned to him the second they were through the door, and the look on his face made it hard for Peter not to wrap the man in his arms and try to push all of the tension from his mind. 

“Peter, I was going to tell you. I just needed a little time to think.”

“I know, and I’m sorry I can’t give you the privacy you need. I want to give you space but everything in me is screaming about how wrong that is. Surely you feel it too?” Peter didn’t really need an answer though, because he knew exactly what Wade felt.

“Of course I do, but some things are more important. I don’t want to put you in anymore danger.” Wade repeated the same sentiment Peter had heard many times over the last hour, but he could feel the words were slowly losing their weight.

“Well in case you hadn’t heard, I’m the amazing fucking Spider-Man, give me a little credit that I can handle things.” Peter tried to put on a confident smile, but it proved to be a lot more difficult than usual.

“I know you can baby boy, but what happens the next time I die? What if someone comes after me who knows what they’re doing, and they take you with me this time.” 

“Wade, I put my life at risk every single day. I could die tomorrow without it having anything to do with you. Those are the kind of lives we live, and I’ve accepted that.” Peter watched as Wade fidgeted nervously with his hands, and carefully took them into his own to still the movement.

“What can you feel Wade? I’m not scared, I don’t regret this, I want to be here.” Peter gripped the scarred hands a little tighter, running his fingers gently over tense knuckles.

“I can’t ask this much of you Peter, it’s one thing for me to ruin my own life, but I won’t ruin yours too.” Wade refused to meet his eyes, but Peter could feel the battle of emotions raging inside him. 

Peter was floored by the strength it must be taking him to fight against the intensity of their bond, pushing against the force that was binding them together. He knew he stood no chance trying to deny that connection in any way, but Wade seemed to have a scary amount of power over it, and it saddened Peter even more to know exactly why Wade was so good at controlling his feelings.

“I love you Wade, but I won’t accept this. I know you didn’t ask for this, but neither did I, and the thought of letting you go now makes me sick. I know you’re going to put me in danger, I know I might get hurt, but whether or not I can handle it is my decision to make.”

Wade closed his eyes for a second, taking a deep breath before fixing his gaze upon Peter again. “You can’t love me Peter, it’s just the bond. You don’t see the difference between dependency and love, and I can’t let you stay with me. You’re just going to keep getting hurt.”

“So does that mean you don’t love me either?” Peter asked with challenge lacing his voice.

Wade huffed out a sigh in frustration. “Of course I do, I always have. Before any of this. It was always you Petey.”

“So then why am I not allowed to love you? You say I’m just confused, but you know that’s not true.” 

Peter knew he should be angry at Wade for implying that he didn’t understand his own feelings, but the anger did not come. If Wade wasn’t going to believe his words, he’d have to prove it to him another way.

“Because why would you? You know what I am Peter, you know what I’ve done. I made you a promise that I was going to stop hurting people, and if you think that doesn’t include you then you’re sadly mistaken.”

“And what about the kiss then?” Peter stepped even closer into Wade’s space, desperation giving him the push he needed.

“That was just about fixing the bond…” Wade swallowed nervously as he spoke, but he didn’t move away.

“We both know that isn’t true Wade, you seem to forget I know exactly what you’re feeling.” Peter was so close now that he could feel the thumping of Wade’s heart against his chest.

“I can’t do it Peter, I can’t lose anyone else.” Wade had lifted his hand to touch Peter’s cheek lightly, the sensation sending heat through them both.

“You’re not going to lose me, I’m right here.” Peter practically breathed the words into Wade’s mouth before closing the distance between them.

Wade seemed to hesitate for a second, his body rigid under Peter’s touch, but soon he gave in and pulled Peter closer to him, grabbing the back of his neck and walking them further into the apartment.

Just as with their first kiss, the feelings that passed between them as their mouths clashed together were almost overwhelming, and Peter pressed against Wade’s chest to put a hair’s breadth of distance between them.

“Still don’t believe me?” Peter breathed out, smiling slightly as Wade’s lips seemed to instinctively follow his as he moved backwards.

“Point taken.” Wade smirked as he closed the space between them again, and Peter couldn’t help but clutch at the wide shoulders surrounding him as he took in everything that Wade had to give.

The love, desire, fear, and urgency all pushed their way through his chest, barrelling through any doubts he’d been holding, and filling him so quickly that he didn’t know if he could stand it. The intensity was almost too much, but Peter was determined not to let it show as he pressed further into Wade’s kiss.

Wade seemed slightly caught off guard by his insistence, and pulled back an inch to give them both a moment, but Peter was met with a look of shock that he hadn’t expected.

“Your nose.” Wade looked at him with wide eyes.

Peter frowned slightly and reached up to swipe a hand across his lip, revealing a small smear of blood that he hadn’t even noticed was there.

Immediately he looked back up at Wade, words of assurance already on his lips.

“Wade, I’m fine. It was just a little intense, I can handle it.” Peter cursed himself for showing any weakness when Wade was already so on edge.

Wade seemed like he was going to protest, but then a look of determination crossed his face.

“Wait.” He tensed in concentration for a second, before he gently reached up to take Peter’s cheek, pulling them together once more.

As their lips met Peter braced himself for the flood of emotions again, but this time they were far more muted. He could still feel everything, but it was like the sensations were passing through a filter, and immediately Peter knew what Wade had done.

He pulled back and looked at Wade in amazement. “You’re doing that?”

Wade smiled at him, never removing the hand that lingered on his cheek. “Well my kiss does tend to have rather dramatic effects on people, it’s only my duty to protect those who can’t handle it.”

Peter never thought he’d be so happy to hear one of Deadpool’s stupid quips, and he couldn’t help the prickling of tears he felt behind his eyes.

“Thank you.” Peter gave him a watery smile, as Wade carefully wiped away a stray tear with a brush of his thumb.

“Tears are another common side-effect. Some have even gone so far as to describe it as a holy experience.”

“Idiot.” Peter shook his head with relief. “I told you we could make this work Wade, we just need time. And practice.” His last words were accompanied with a small smirk.

“Now that is an idea I can definitely get behind.” Wade moved towards him once more, but Peter stopped him.

“You’re okay though right? You don’t…” Peter gestured nervously to his nose.

“No Petey, I’m fine. It seems like a lifetime of intense emotional trauma was good for something after all.” Wade was joking, but Peter’s heart broke to hear those words.

“If keeping things back is too much I can take it, we don’t have to…” But Wade cut him off before he could even finish the thought.

“Ha, like I would ever pass up a chance to have those ridiculously soft lips as close to me as possible? Which by the way, congratulations on being even more perfect than before.” He gave Peter a look of intense sincerity. “I can handle it Webs. You bring the sensitivity, I’ll bring the emotional wall-building…we’ll make it work.”

Peter didn’t think he’d ever been so relieved to hear anything in his life. “So no more SHIELD?”

“For now.” Wade couldn’t help the honesty in his voice. “The thought that I can’t protect you from everything still doesn’t sit right with me, but when that time comes, we’ll figure it out together. Deal?”

Peter nodded as a hint of challenge flared up inside him. 

“I don’t need as much protecting as you think.” Peter braced himself slightly as his arms found their way behind Wade’s back, using his superior strength to lift the bigger man effortlessly from the floor. His hands easily found the back of Wade’s thighs, urging them upwards to wrap around his waist as the man’s arms instinctively slid around his neck. 

“Fuck, I always forget how strong you are.” Wade breathed out as Peter walked them towards the couch.

“Don’t worry, I won’t have any problem reminding you if you forget again.” Peter smirked as he dumped Wade onto the worn cushions, closing the space swiftly between them and immediately finding Wade’s lips with his own.

“Good thing I have a terrible memory then.” Wade smirked against Peter’s mouth, and Peter finally felt the last of the tension ease away as they tangled themselves together, each forgetting where they ended, and the other began.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well I hope no one thought Spidey was just going to sit back and let Wade be an idiot without saying anything XD
> 
> As always let me know what you think! And thank you to everyone who has come so far with this story, I appreciate it more than you know.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not much to say here, just enjoy some fluff and happiness after all that angst in the last few chapters :D
> 
> Thank you as always to everyone who has taken the time to read and respond to this story, I send love to you all!

“Wade, whatever you’re doing please stop.” Peter groaned from the couch as the clanging of pots and pans drew him from his unexpected nap.

“Well it’s not my fault your kitchen looks like it was organized by a blind toddler. Where the hell is your cutting board?” Wade called from the other side of the apartment.

“Why the hell do you need a cutting board at 11 o’clock at night?” Peter finally managed to lift himself into sitting position, stretching out his tired shoulders as he did.

“How else do you expect me to slice these potatoes?” Peter could hear Wade opening another drawer, only to groan in disappointment.

“Uh, on the counter? I don’t think I own a chopping board.” Peter stood up and wandered over to the kitchen, chuckling at the look of indignance on Wade’s face.

“How do you live like this?” Wade sighed as he began to meticulously wipe down the surface in front of him.

“What are you even making? There can’t be any good ingredients in my house, I haven’t been home in days.” Peter pulled himself easily onto the counter next to where Wade was preparing to cut the vegetables.

“Peter, you have potatoes, onions, and eggs. Any logical human being would know those are the basic ingredients for a Spanish omelette.” Wade spoke as if that were the most obvious thing in the world.

“All right Gordon Ramsay, we could have just ordered a pizza but suit yourself.” Peter shook his head with a smile as Wade paused from his careful chopping.

“Actually, _you’re_ not having anything until you finish this first.” Wade handed Peter a mug of warm milky tea, seemingly out of nowhere. “You haven’t eaten solids in three days, and advanced healing abilities or not, it’s probably not a good idea to shove a whole pizza down your throat straight away.”

Peter felt his face heat up slightly as a rush of warmth flooded his system. Honestly he hadn’t even thought of that, and the fact that Wade was so concerned about his well-being still threw him a little.

He took the mug from Wade’s hand and set it on the counter beside him, choosing instead to take the man’s arm and manoeuvre him so that he was positioned in between his legs.

“You need to stop being so nice to me, I might get attached.” Peter smiled as he ran a hand slowly over Wade’s cheek.

“You can attach yourself to me any time Spider-babe.” Wade gave him a small wink and leaned forward, his head coming to rest on Peter’s chest as his arms wrapped around the small of his back.

Peter could feel an unexpected flood of relief coming from Wade’s touch, and he carefully slid his arms around the strong shoulders now tense with worry.

“Hey, we’re okay.” Peter spoke softly as he drew Wade closer to him.

“It’s not that, I just…” Wade paused.

“What?” Peter couldn’t tell what Wade was thinking, only that he felt an inexplicable amount of concern.

“Every time you touch me, it’s like I get a taste of everything you feel for me, and I’m worried that one day I’m going to take your hand and there’ll be nothing there anymore.” Wade’s face didn’t show it, but there was an obvious sense of fear that was now filling the space between them.

“You’re an idiot.” Peter lifted Wade’s face gently between his hands and placed a soft kiss on the rough forehead. 

“So I’ve been told.” Wade pushed back slightly from Peter’s hold, now looking directly into his eyes.

“And I don’t mind telling you this as many times as it takes to get through your thick skull, I love you Wade. Not because of the bond, not because I’m confused, just because I do.” Peter knew his face was probably an embarrassing shade of crimson as he spoke, but he didn’t really care.

“Peter I…” But Wade cut off as Peter’s stomach suddenly growled loudly, and neither of them could stifle the laughter that followed it.

“Way to ruin the moment there Romeo, last time I try and confess my undying love to you.” Wade poked Peter gently in the side.

“Hey I can’t help it, all that talk of food woke up the beast.” Peter slid down carefully from the counter with a laugh.

“Funny, I thought I’d satisfied the beast pretty well earlier.” Wade gave him a knowing look.

“Trust me, if you want to satisfy me you’re going to have to work a lot harder than that.” Peter gave him a wink as he grabbed the still warm cup from behind him.

“Get your ass into that living room, drink your tea, and stop teasing me you little shit.” Wade narrowed his eyes in annoyance, but the smile on his face made the look slightly less believable.

“Listen, if you’re going to give it out you better be able to take it too.” Peter laughed as he walked back over to the couch.

“Fuck being immortal, you may actually be the death of me Parker.” Wade shook his head, using all of his willpower to resume his chopping instead of following Peter to the couch.

Once Wade was finally finished cooking the pair of them ate together in a comfortable silence, which was only broken occasionally by Wade making comments about the random documentary playing in the background.

“Peter did you know that there are naturally occurring Grizzly-Polar bear hybrids in the wild, and they’re called Pizzly bears?” 

“No, but that’s probably the best thing I’ve heard all day.” Peter smiled as he finished his last mouthful, leaning back against the cushions and sighing in satisfaction.

“Same.” Wade followed Peter’s lead, tilting sideways until his head was resting against Peter’s shoulder.

“Thank you for cooking by the way, I don’t know how you managed to pull off something that delicious with such limited supplies.” Peter leaned his cheek against the top of Wade’s head as he spoke.

“I know, it’s hard being this talented.” Wade sighed dramatically.

They sat quietly for a few more moments, before Wade let out a yawn and stretched his arms in front of him.

“Well I think it’s night night time for little superheroes, I’d better head out.” Wade began to lift himself from the couch, but Peter immediately grabbed the back of his shirt.

Wade turned towards him with questioning eyes, and Peter felt his face heating as he let his hand slip from the fabric.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean…I just thought maybe…you’d want to stay here?” Peter heard his voice wavering as he spoke, but his eyes never left Wade’s.

Wade didn’t reply immediately, and just when Peter was going to apologise for his suggestion, and go find the deepest darkest hole to bury himself in, he felt warm lips on his forehead, and a soft touch on his cheek.

“And you call me an idiot? Of course I do.” Wade shook his head with a smile before reaching down to claim Peter’s lips with his own.

Peter was immediately overwhelmed with a happiness that bubbled up through his chest, and he couldn’t help the smile that pulled at his lips.

“Hey stop smiling, it’s making it really difficult to kiss you properly.” Wade kissed him sharply on the nose as if in punishment.

This made Peter smile even harder, and he fought back the giggles as Wade kissed both of his cheeks, and then moved down his neck, punctuating his words with kisses as he went.

“Stop. Laughing. Or. There. Will. Be. Consequences.” He was now nuzzling behind Peter’s ear, and the ticklish sensation sent another wave of laughter through him.

“Okay, that’s it. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.” Wade suddenly grabbed Peter around the waist and lifted him over his shoulder.

“Wade, what are you doing.” Peter was almost breathless from laughing as Wade began to carry him towards the bedroom.

“I told you, consequences.”

***

It was around a week later when Peter finally mustered up the courage to go and see Tony. He’d had a mountain of things to set straight after coming back to reality, including an earful from Aunt May about why he hadn’t returned any calls in three days, but he felt like he was finally on top of things now.

He was just finishing up his classes for the day, and was about to head off towards Stark Tower, when his phone began to vibrate in his pocket. He checked the caller ID and noticed it was exactly who he’d been thinking about.

“Does Stark Industries now include mind-reading tech?” Peter laughed as he answered the call.

“Huh?” Tony’s confused voice came through the speaker.

“I was literally just planning to come and see you.” Peter hitched his bag over his shoulder and started heading towards the exit.

“Oh, good. There’s actually something we need to discuss, and I would appreciate it if you and Wade could both come down here.” Tony’s voice held a slightly serious undertone.

Immediately Peter’s stomach dropped, and his heart began to beat a little faster than it had before.

“Tony, if this is something to do with SHIELD I really don’t want to…” But Tony cut him off before he could finish.

“Don’t worry kid, it has nothing to do with them. There’s just an important issue we need your help settling.” Tony tried to reassure him.

“Okay…well I guess we could come down and help then. I’ll call Wade and we’ll head over in a bit?” Peter still felt slightly anxious, but he knew Tony wouldn’t force him to do anything he didn’t want to do.

“Great, see you soon.”

Tony hung up the phone, and Peter stared at it for a few seconds before dialling Wade’s number.

He answered almost immediately, and Peter knew that Wade had probably been aware the call was coming before he’d even hit the dial button.

“You okay?” Wade asked in a clearly concerned voice.

“Yeah I’m fine, sorry if you felt all that.” Peter instantly felt a wave of comfort wash over him, and it shocked him at how powerful their bond was becoming.

“What happened?”

“Tony just called, he wants us both to go to Stark Tower to help them out with something.” Peter tried to keep any of the lingering anxiety from spilling back over to Wade.

“I’m sure it’s nothing Petey, I’ll come meet you and we’ll go together.” Peter could already hear Wade grabbing his things to leave as he spoke.

“Okay, I’m at the…”

“South campus entrance gate?”

“I don’t think I’m ever going to get used to that.” Peter smiled into the phone.

“I’ve been practicing. See you in a bit Webs.”

“Wade?” Peter spoke before he could stop himself, suddenly not wanting Wade to go.

“Yeah?”

“I just…never mind.” Peter shook his head, trying to will away any stupid thoughts.

“I love you too Peter, I’ll be there soon.”

*** 

It wasn’t long before Peter and Wade walked into Stark Tower, and they made their way immediately towards Tony’s office.

Peter could feel his tension growing from the second he’d walked into the building, and all he could think of was what had happened the last few times he was there. Brief flashes of Wade’s death passed through his mind, along with the unyielding emptiness that had followed, and immediately Peter felt his hand being gripped tightly by scarred fingers.

“You good?” Wade whispered as they walked towards the office door.

Peter simply nodded and gripped the hand tighter before making his way into the room.

Once through the door he was surprised to see not only Tony perched on the side of his desk, but that almost all of the other Avengers were milling around inside the room too. This was quickly beginning to feel like a repeat of the Christmas tree situation.

Tony must have read the look of concern on his face well, because he immediately moved to explain.

“Don’t worry kid, we’re not holding some kind of intervention. But we do have a rather pressing issue to discuss.” Tony gave him a smile that suggested the matter was not as serious as it seemed.

“Okay…what is it?” Peter snuck a quick glance at Wade, who simply shrugged his shoulders.

“Well it’s a slightly sensitive topic, but we need to know if you two…if you’ve…” Tony seemed to have trouble finishing his question, but Sam cut in before he had a chance.

“Oh good god, we just want to know if you two are all loved up yet? We have a bet to settle.”

Immediately everyone’s eyes went wide, and Bucky smacked Sam in the back of the head.

“Have a little tact, idiot.” He shook his head with a smirk.

“Oh like you don’t want to know too. Don’t think I didn’t see that $20 next to your name.” Sam rubbed the back of his head as he spoke.

Peter could feel his face heating up as Sam’s words sank in, and he prayed that he’d misunderstood them.

His hopes were crushed instantly however when the door suddenly burst open, and Thor wheeled in a giant whiteboard covered in a variety of charts and tables.

“I have brought the data!” He announced loudly, giving Peter and Wade a huge grin.

Everything seemed to make sense as Peter slowly read the words ‘The Spideypool’ at the top of the board, followed by a series of dates and dollar amounts.

He turned back to face the others, who all seemingly had the good graces to look guilty.

“Are you telling me you guys were betting on if we were in love or not?” Peter fixed Tony with a look of disbelief.

“No of course not! We were just…um.” Tony seemed to be struggling as Cap stepped forward and placed a sympathetic hand on Peter’s shoulder.

“If it makes you feel any better, they did the same thing to Buck and I.”

“And I just want you to know, I had no hand in this whatsoever.” Clint shook his head in feigned judgement.

“Oh please, you organised the damn thing Clint. Is that not your name at the top of the list?” Natasha rolled her eyes in his direction.

“Jesus, let’s hope the next evil alien attack comes soon so it’ll give you all something better to do with your time.” Peter wanted to be mad at them, but he actually found the whole thing kind of funny. 

Despite the fact that they had used his biggest source of emotional turmoil as a form of entertainment, it showed more than anything else that they were supportive of him and Wade being together.

“Well?” Tony asked as they all looked at him eagerly.

Peter paused for a second as he gave Wade a small smile. “You and Dr Strange are closest.”

“I told you!” Tony announced in triumph as the others all groaned.

“It’s not fair, Stephen can see into the future.” Bruce protested.

“Are you suggesting I would abuse the power of the Eye of Agamotto for a simple bet? I would never.” Stephen winked at Tony as he spoke.

“Cheating ass wizards.” Sam grumbled as they all began to file out of the room, Thor pushing the whiteboard back through the door in disappointment.

“Seriously?” Peter shook his head at Tony.

“Hey, you try and keep a bunch of over-grown children with super powers entertained. It’s a full-time job.” Tony simply shrugged in return.

Peter couldn’t help the laugh that fell from his mouth. “Well, if you’ll excuse us then, we have more important things to do. Unless you would like to profit from our struggles in any other way?”

“Sorry kid, Banner has been gloating about winning the Stucky poll forever, I just wanted to shut him up.” Tony looked slightly sheepish.

“At least have the decency to cut us in next time Stark, it’s not like you need the extra cash.” Wade spoke up from next to Peter

Tony gave them both a soft smile. “I’m glad to see you two are doing better.”

“We are.” Peter looked at Wade again before turning back to Tony. “And I’m sorry about everything I said before, I know you were just trying to look out for us.”

“It was nothing kid, I want this to work. For both of you. And just remember that everyone here is rooting for you too.” Tony nodded towards the door the others had all just left through.

“Thank you. We still have a lot we need to figure out, but I think we’ll manage.” Peter stepped closer to Wade as he spoke.

“And if you need any help we’ll be here. To be honest Bruce and Stephen are practically dying to do some tests with you.” Tony said with a chuckle.

“Ummm, I think we’ll pass for now.” Peter still didn’t like the idea of anyone messing around with their bond, but he knew that one day they might need help figuring out what to do about Wade’s little dying problem.

“Got it. Well you two can get out of here now if you want, that’s all we needed you for.” Tony hopped off the desk and made a move towards the door.

“Thanks, enjoy your blood money.” Peter tugged Wade’s hand towards the exit.

“I will.” Tony smirked as the pair walked out.

“Friday?”

“Yes Mr Stark?”

“Make sure to send reminders on the hour, every hour, to Dr Banner’s personal email until he transfers my winnings.”

“Of course Mr Stark.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooooo 
> 
> To smut, or not to smut, that is my question.
> 
> Honestly I'm quite happy leaving it at this level of intimacy, but if you guys would like it I could add a little something something.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, we've entered the home stretch now folks, only a couple of chapters to go after this!
> 
> As always I just want to thank everyone who has come this far with me, the support is more than I could have asked for. 
> 
> Happy reading!

Peter was slowly beginning to accept the fact that he and Wade had pretty much moved in together. They hadn’t discussed it, or even acknowledged it was happening, but he hadn’t missed the fact that they’d spent every night for the past week under the same roof. 

They split their time pretty evenly between both of their apartments, using Wade’s when they wanted to relax and eat something that didn’t come out of the freezer, and Peter’s when he needed to get some work done and Wade would lounge on the couch beside him watching some shitty comedy reruns, and trying his best to distract him.

They were currently in the midst of the latter situation, and Wade was on the verge of successfully pulling Peter’s attention away from the book in front of him. 

“Wade, stop it.” Peter shivered as Wade nuzzled gently into the space behind his ear.

“But I’m bored.”

“Well go do something then, nobody’s stopping you.” Peter gave up on trying to concentrate as he closed his eyes, enjoying the soft feeling of Wade’s lips on his neck.

“I’d rather do _someone _.” Wade ghosted a hand over Peter’s thigh, and he felt his entire body stiffen under the touch.__

__“Terrible jokes like that are not helping your case.” Peter laughed as he caught Wade’s hand with his own. “I’ll tell you what, give me twenty more minutes and then we can order Chinese and watch some terrible B grade horror movies. How does that sound?”_ _

__Wade seemed to pause in thought for a second, before giving Peter a serious look._ _

__“Make that Mexican and you’ve got a deal.”_ _

__“Mexican it is.” Peter laughed at the look of excitement that was now on Wade’s face._ _

__“Well I’m going to take a shower then, and I expect there to be burritos on the way by the time I get back.” Wade called over his shoulder as he skipped off towards the bathroom._ _

__“Yes sir.” Peter shook his head with a smile and went back to his books._ _

__He had sensed the ex-merc’s restlessness building up over the course of the evening, and he felt kind of bad that he was keeping Wade cooped up with nothing to do._ _

__Not that he had explicitly told him to stay, but he knew that Wade could pick up on the reluctance he felt at the thought of them separating, and he felt a sudden pang of guilt flow through him at the thought._ _

__Since he’d woken up at Stark Tower it had become increasingly more difficult to be separated from Wade for any extended period of time, and his dependence was starting to scare him. He had tried his best to keep it under wraps, but he knew that he was nowhere near as good as Wade at shielding his emotions, and the lack of control made him feel helpless._ _

__It was also starting to concern him that the balance of their bond was clearly very uneven, and while Wade had to take on everything Peter threw at him, as well as shield Peter from the things he couldn’t handle, Peter simply couldn’t control what he was feeling, and the thought of burdening Wade even more was becoming too much to bear._ _

__He was so lost in thought that he hadn’t heard the bathroom door opening, and before he knew what was happening there was a dripping wet Deadpool standing in front of him, a towel wrapped hurriedly around his waist and the shower still running behind him._ _

__“Peter…” Wade was reaching out to him before Peter could fully react, and he tensed before the fingers made contact, trying his best to keep his thoughts concealed._ _

__Immediately the hand stopped mid-air, and Peter watched the look of pain and confusion that crossed Wade’s features._ _

__“I’m fine, go finish your shower.” Peter shifted the notebook from his lap and stood up, trying to put some distance between them._ _

__He’d almost made it to the bedroom when a strong hand grabbed his shoulder, and he allowed himself to be spun around until he was facing Wade once more. He felt cold drops of water running down his arm as Wade closed the space between them, the moisture beginning to slowly soak through his t-shirt._ _

__“I leave you alone for five minutes and you start having an existentialist crisis? What am I going to do with you?” Wade had said the words jokingly, but they only served to fuel Peter’s guilt even more._ _

__“It’s nothing Wade, just leave it alone.” Peter tried to shake Wade’s grip, but there was no real effort behind his attempt._ _

__“It’s not nothing Pete, I know it’s not nothing.” Wade gave him a look that reminded Peter there was no point in lying to him._ _

__“Fuck, I know. I’m sorry.” Peter relented, leaning forward to rest his head against Wade’s shoulder._ _

__“Stop letting that big brain of yours run away with you, you’re too logical for your own good sometimes.” Wade ran a damp hand through Peter’s hair, and the touch soothed him more than he’d like to admit._ _

__“That’s why I have you I guess, we balance each other out.” Peter drew his head back with a smirk._ _

__“Are you saying I’m dumb.” Wade narrowed his eyes dangerously, but there was still a clear smile on his face._ _

__“I wouldn’t use the word dumb per say...”_ _

__“Oh I’ll show you dumb you little shit.” Wade lifted Peter under his arm and started hauling him towards the bathroom, and the still running shower._ _

__“Wade, don’t.” Peter warned as he fought back lamely against Deadpool’s grip_ _

__“Oh no, you brought this upon yourself.” Wade smiled devilishly as he dragged Peter into the bathroom, shutting the door behind them._ _

__***_ _

__Despite the happiness of the past few days, Peter couldn’t seem to shake the thoughts he’d been having, and he could feel the faintest beginnings of something dark starting to take root inside him. Something had changed in him since he’d woken up, something that scared him more than anything that had happened so far. There was a desperate need that punctuated his every thought related to Wade, and the more he tried to ignore it, the more it seemed to grow._ _

__If Wade noticed the shift in him he didn’t say anything, and Peter tried his best not to let his fears show, but he couldn’t fight the ugly twist of possession that surged through him every time he looked at the man. He was becoming more and more scared of what might happen if he didn’t learn how to control it._ _

__He knew that going to Tony would just lead to questions he didn’t want to answer, and realities he didn’t want to face. SHIELD wasn’t an option either, because if Fury knew that Peter was struggling to keep things under control, he was sure the director would be forced to do something about it. So he kept it quiet, and he kept it hidden, hoping that it would go away._ _

__***_ _

__A few days after the shower debacle Peter had decided it was probably a good idea for Spider-Man to start doing his friendly neighbourhood duty again. With everything going on he’d definitely been neglecting his responsibilities, and he was thankful that there had been no major disasters while he’d been dealing with his issues._ _

__He was just pulling his legs through his Spidey suit when he heard a knock at the door, and he didn’t bother to cover himself up as he went to answer it. As he’d expected, Wade was standing on the other side, and the second Deadpool eyed his bare torso his expression changed in a way that made Peter’s face heat up._ _

__“Oh boy, I cannot tell you how many of my fantasies have started like this.” Wade smirked as he walked into the apartment, pushing the door closed behind him._ _

__Peter rolled his eyes with a laugh, and immediately found himself drawn closer to Wade’s presence._ _

__“Well if you give me a comprehensive list I’m sure we can work through them all eventually.” He pressed himself into Wade’s space, waiting for the feel of strong arms around him._ _

__He wasn’t left wanting for long as Wade slid his hands down the small of his back almost instantly, ghosting his lips across the shell of Peter’s ear._ _

__“How about we start with the one that just popped into my head, and work our way down from there?” Wade’s lips were now unbearably close to his neck, and it took all of Peter’s willpower to stay still._ _

__“That would be great, but you’ll have to hold that thought until we get back.” Peter reluctantly pushed himself away from the reach of Wade’s tempting mouth._ _

__Immediately he felt a flood of disappointment surge through him, and it was almost enough for him to give up on the idea of patrolling completely and spend the rest of the night exactly where he was._ _

__Wade let out an impatient sigh as he slowly released his grip. “And what could possibly be more important than this?”_ _

__“The safety and well-being of the population of New York city?” Peter offered in a sincere attempt to convince both himself and the man in front of him._ _

__Wade seemed to seriously consider this for a minute, before giving up with a huff._ _

__“Shit, this whole being the good guy thing really sucks sometimes. Can’t I just go back to being the mildly tolerated, somewhat loveable scamp who gets up to questionable high-jinks?”_ _

__“Wade, you literally just described yourself exactly as you are now. Also, I think our definitions of ‘questionable high-jinks’ might be very different.” Peter smiled at the pout now present on Deadpool’s face._ _

__“Hey that’s not fair, I’d say I’ve definitely moved up from 'mildly tolerated' to 'begrudgingly accepted' by now.” Wade puffed out his chest in pride._ _

__“Maybe by some people.” Peter threw him a smirk as he began to pull the rest of his suit on._ _

__“Deny it all you want Parker, but you already told me you loved me. No take-backsies.”_ _

__“An action I regret to this day.” He was now fully suited, and he realised how much he’d missed this feeling._ _

__“So what’s the plan Webs? It better be something good, because I think my katana skills are getting rusty.” Wade rolled his shoulders, causing the blades on his back to shift around with them._ _

__“Nothing exciting I’m afraid, just a regular old patrol.” Peter paused for a second. “Also, we’re going to have to rethink how we meet up in future, you can’t keep arriving here in your Deadpool suit or people are going to start getting suspicious.”_ _

__“Don’t worry, no one will recognise me.” Wade gestured towards the fact that he had a single woolen scarf draped around his neck._ _

__“Wade, you’re dressed head to toe in leather, and you’re covered in weapons, it’s going to take a lot more than a scarf to hide that. You can just suit up when you get here, it’ll be safer.” Peter rolled his eyes at Wade’s pathetic disguise attempt._ _

__“Oooookay I get it. You don’t have to come up with some elaborate plan to get me naked you know, just say the word.” Wade threw him a wink before pulling his mask on._ _

__“Are you done? Because we need to get going.” Peter shook his head before pulling on his own mask and heading towards the fire escape._ _

__“Love you too, Petey.” Wade laughed as he followed Peter out of the window._ _

__***_ _

__They’d been out for a couple of hours when Peter began to get a little bored. Nothing eventful had happened all night, and he knew Deadpool was starting to get antsy from the lack of action too. Not to mention the fact that it was pretty freezing outside, and his mind kept wandering back to images of being wrapped up with Wade on a cozy couch, watching old episodes of QI and laughing at Wade’s attempts to answer the questions._ _

__He was just trying to decide whether they should call it a night and head back, when he heard the tell-tale scream of someone in distress. He shared a very brief glance with Wade before they took off in the direction of the sound, and it didn’t take them long to pinpoint the source of the commotion._ _

__They located a group of armed thugs who, in true cliché fashion, were cornering a defenceless man at the end of a deserted alleyway. Peter immediately dropped down and made short work of a couple of them, rendering them immobile with a few well-placed webs. He then turned to see Wade finishing off the last man with a swift elbow to the face._ _

__He winced slightly as the man fell to the ground with a thud, but he knew that Wade was more than skilled enough to know how much force to apply to simply knock someone out._ _

__It seemed a little overkill to have both Spider-Man and Deadpool taking on a group of men who could easily have been bested by regular law enforcement, but the poor man they’d saved was grateful just the same. Peter made sure he was okay before getting in contact with the police, and he was just about to head back over to Wade when he was overcome with the feeling that something was wrong._ _

__He made it back into the alley just in time to see another man emerging from a dumpster behind an oblivious Deadpool, the very large knife in his hand heading straight for Wade’s back._ _

__Peter was on the man in an instant, knocking the weapon from his hands and grabbing him around the throat, slamming him backwards into the concrete beneath them. The man let out a pained cry as his head met the hard floor, and Peter felt a jolt of satisfaction run through him._ _

__A fury he’d never experienced before was coursing through his veins, and his hand moved as if by it's own will, tightening it's grip around the thug’s neck. He raised his other hand into a fist, bringing it down to make contact with the man’s face over and over again, until his pleas for mercy were all but silenced._ _

__“Peter!” Wade’s voice sounded urgently from behind him, as he felt a hand grab his arm._ _

__He growled as he tried to hit the man one more time, but Wade’s grip on his bicep was preventing him from doing so._ _

__“Peter, stop!” Wade urged again, this time trying to drag Peter away from the now bloodied man._ _

__Peter struggled against him for a minute before he allowed himself to be tugged away, and he let out a few ragged breaths as he looked back at the mess he’d made._ _

__He watched the blood slowly oozing from the man’s nose and the cuts that now littered his face, and all at once he realised what he’d done._ _

__His legs suddenly felt weak, and if Wade hadn’t been holding onto him he probably would have collapsed. The surge of rage from earlier was now replaced with an overpowering sense of guilt, and he looked down at his gloved hands to see them covered in the man’s blood._ _

__“Wade...” He turned to face Deadpool, the panic in his chest building so quickly that he thought it was going to consume him._ _

__“It’s okay, you’re okay.” Wade pulled him closer and Peter grabbed at his back, hoping desperately to find some reassurance in his arms._ _

__There was none to be found however, as Wade’s shock and fear poured into him before he could stop it, and he immediately tore himself from Deadpool’s grasp._ _

__“I don’t…I didn’t…” Peter tried to comprehend what he’d done, but it was like his body was at war with itself. His brain was telling him that he’d done something terrible, but every other part of him was screaming for the man’s blood for even attempting to harm Wade._ _

__He looked over at the man in panic, and he could see his chest rising and falling slowly. A tiny wave of relief washed over him, at least he was still alive._ _

__“Peter let’s go. The cops will be here soon and they’ll deal with it.” Wade tugged at him gently, but Peter found his feet wouldn’t move._ _

__“What did I do?” He asked softly, more to himself than to Wade._ _

__“That guy came at me out of nowhere with a knife, you were just doing what you had to do.”_ _

__“No. I didn’t have to do…this.” Peter shook his head, trying to regain some sense of control over the situation._ _

__“He’ll be fine Peter, the police will deal with it and everything will be okay.” Wade tugged at him again._ _

__“I lost control, I don’t lose control.” Peter was trying desperately to understand his own actions now that the anger had faded. It felt almost as if someone else had done it._ _

__“Peter.” Wade’s voice finally broke through his haze, and he let out a breath he didn’t know he’d been holding._ _

__“Right, okay. Let’s go.” Peter seemed to regain some sense of reality, grabbing Wade around the waist and swinging them out of the alleyway._ _

__As soon as they reached the apartment Peter wordlessly made his way to the bathroom, pulling off his suit and discarding it onto the floor without much thought. He looked down at his hands to find some dried blood which had seeped through the fabric onto his skin, and immediately he began cleaning them in the sink._ _

__Wade stood silently in the doorway watching him, and as Peter’s movements began to boarder on frantic he slowly reached out to still the harsh scrubbing, reaching for a cloth instead and gently wiping away the last of the blood._ _

__Once Peter’s fingers were clean, he checked him over for any other traces of the incident, before carefully drying his hands and leading him back to the living room. He settled him on the couch and was just about to move to the bedroom to get some clean clothes when Peter grabbed his wrist._ _

__“Don’t go.” Peter asked quietly, his fingers curling tightly into Wade’s skin._ _

__Wade could feel the pain practically pouring through Peter’s fingertips, and he sank down next to him, pulling him into his chest and willing away as much of the tension as he could._ _

__They didn’t speak for some time, neither of them needing words to understand how the other was feeling, but when Wade felt hot tears dripping onto his lap he knew he needed to say something._ _

__“Peter, what happened back there was an accident. Everyone knows you would never hurt someone unless it was strictly necessary.” Wade ran a thumb over Peter’s cheek, brushing away a stream of tears._ _

__“It wasn’t an accident Wade, I couldn’t control myself. I saw him coming for you and I just…every part of me wanted him dead.” Peter whispered the words as if it would make them less difficult to say._ _

__“You just wanted to protect me, that’s a normal reaction to have. Slightly unnecessary in my case, but it’s what anyone would do for the people they love.” Wade tried to keep his words light, but Peter’s face remained like stone._ _

__“I severely injured a man who I knew realistically wouldn’t be able to hurt you even if he tried. If you hadn’t stopped me, I would have killed him Wade.” Peter stated the words plainly, there was no point in hiding the truth._ _

__“But I was there, and you didn’t kill him. Besides, he wasn’t exactly a good guy.”_ _

__“That doesn’t mean I get to decide whether he lives or dies, I don’t get to take other people’s fate into my hands just because I can. What if I can’t control myself next time and you’re not around?” Peter pulled himself from Wade’s grip as he spoke._ _

__“That’s not going to happen Peter, I’m always going to be there.” Wade wanted nothing more than to take Peter back into his arms and prove it to him, but he gave Peter his space._ _

__“I’m scared Wade, I don’t feel like myself anymore. If this is what being bonded does to me then I…” Peter trailed off, unable to finish his words._ _

__“Then you what?” Wade urged him to continue, wanting Peter to admit what he already knew he was thinking._ _

__“Nothing. You wouldn’t get it, I can’t control things like you can. It’s so easy for you.” Peter knew the words weren’t true as soon as they left his mouth._ _

__“You think this is easy for me? You think watching you become something you hate and knowing it’s my fault is easy for me?” Wade took Peter’s chin and forced him to look into his eyes._ _

__“Every day I spend with you I’m terrified that you’re going to realise how much of a mistake this is, and you’re going to leave me and never look back. You think I don’t feel those things too? The jealousy? The possessiveness? I feel them every time someone even looks at you, but I refuse to let that control me.”_ _

__“But it shouldn’t feel like this. How can this bond bring anything good if we’re constantly fighting against jealousy and doubt? All it’s doing is hurting us.”_ _

__“That’s all it is to you?” Wade’s face was cold now, almost completely devoid of expression._ _

__“Wade no, I…”_ _

__“No Peter, I won’t keep having this same fucking argument with you, you need to make up your mind about what you want. I love you, but if this is causing you so much pain then I’d rather see us end up like Steve and Tony. I won’t put you through this.”_ _

__“Wade don’t do this.” Wade was slowly pushing Peter out, and he scrambled to grasp at the last dregs of connection._ _

__“I don’t want to leave you Peter, but your happiness is more important to me than anything else, and if that means me being out of the picture then so be it.”_ _

__“Don’t ask me to let you go.” Peter shook his head, grabbing at Wade in desperation._ _

__“I’m only asking you to be happy, it’s the only thing that matters to me. So think about it, and tell me once you’ve figured it out.” Wade gently pried Peter’s hand from his arm._ _

__He leaned forward slowly and placed a soft kiss on Peter’s forehead, before dropping his hand and turning towards the door._ _

__“I love you, Wade.” Peter choked out as he watched Wade walk across the room, something he didn’t understand keeping him rooted to the spot._ _

__“I love you too, remember I’ll always be here for you.” And with that Wade disappeared through the door, taking with him a part of Peter he didn’t know if he’d ever get back._ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so so sorry, please don't kill me.
> 
> It had to be done, but there will be a payoff I promise!


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well all I'll say is I'm so sorry this chapter took so long!
> 
> I went home to South Africa for 3 weeks to visit my family, and I didn't have access to a computer while I was there. I've also had the worst case of jetlag since I got back to Korea, so it's taken a while to get back into writing.
> 
> Anyway I hope an extra long chapter makes up for it a little.
> 
> Thank you so much to everyone for their amazing support!
> 
> Happy reading.

It hurt. Being away from Wade hurt Peter more than he’d ever expected it to, and the longer they were separated, the worse it got. He felt like he was going through withdrawals, and the body aches and constant shaking was making it very difficult to get anything done. Not that he could have really done anything if he tried, because when Wade left, he’d taken all the light from Peter’s life. 

He’d woken up every night in a cold sweat, plagued by the most terrifying nightmares he’d ever experienced. Visions of being torn apart, suffocated, and left in the cold, dark emptiness tormented his sleep, and when he’d woken up screaming Wade’s name on the fourth night, he was sure the man must have been able to hear him.

The next day he’d tried desperately to get in contact with Wade, but he couldn’t find him, and he couldn’t feel him, so he just sat hopelessly in his apartment, holding on to the last scraps of connection that tied them together. 

***

Peter was fully prepared to ignore the incessant knocking at his door, just like he’d ignored every phone call and message he’d received over the last ten days, but when he heard Tony’s annoyed voice calling from the other side of the wood he knew there was no point in trying to pretend he wasn’t home.

He slowly pulled himself from the couch, becoming aware of just how stiff his limbs were from being cramped up in the same position for hours, and opened the door without so much as a greeting in Tony’s direction.

Tony didn’t say anything either, but he fixed Peter with a look of pure Stark™ brand frustration. He didn’t know how much the older man knew about what had happened, or if he knew anything at all, but from the expression on his face Peter could tell that he was in for a world-class lecture.

“You look like shit.” Tony finally spoke as he shut the door behind him, following Peter into his apartment.

“Yeah, I know.” Peter didn’t really know what else to say, so he opted for collapsing back onto the couch.

“I’ve called. A lot. You never answered.” Tony’s eyes swept across the cluttered living room, definitely taking in the fact that Peter hadn’t done much cleaning recently.

“Yeah, sorry, I’ve had a lot of stuff to think about.” Peter knew he should feel bad about ignoring Tony, but he’d found it pretty difficult to feel anything since Wade had left.

“Well I’ll admit, I never thought in a million years that Wade Wilson was going to be the more reliable one out of you two. _He_ didn’t have any trouble answering my calls.” 

Peter’s eyes immediately fixed on Tony’s face at the mention of Wade’s name.

“You spoke to him?” He asked with more emotion than he’d felt in days.

“Only to find out why you weren’t answering your phone. And wasn’t I just so surprised to hear that he had as much idea about what you were doing as I did.” Tony’s words were practically dripping with sarcasm, and Peter suddenly felt a wave of shame sweep over him.

“We…I haven’t seen him in a while.” Peter spoke quietly, his eyes dropping to stare at the floor.

“You don’t say.” Tony sighed as he moved towards the couch, taking a seat next to Peter. “Look, I didn’t actually come here to talk about Wilson, I came here on a Spider-Man related issue.”

Peter turned his head in confusion, looking for all the world like he’d completely forgotten who Spider-Man even was.

Tony frowned at him slightly. “I don’t know what’s going on with you kid, but Spider-Man is definitely the last person I thought I’d be paying the newspapers not to talk about.”

Peter’s confused expression lingered for a few more seconds, before a wave of realization hit him.

“Tony, I…”

“I can also tell you that Fury was not very happy about hearing some random criminal spouting rumours that he received the beating of his life from our Friendly Neighbourhood idiot.”

“Fury knows?” Peter ran a worried hand through his hair, realizing that he definitely needed to take a shower.

“Yeah but not to worry, I took care of it.”

Peter knew that Tony had meant the words to sound reassuring, but they only served to make him feel even guiltier than he already did.

“Peter, I can tell by the look on your face exactly what you’re thinking, and you need to stop.” 

“I know. I just can’t stop imagining what might have happened…What I almost did.” Peter let out a weary sigh, it felt kind of good to be able to talk to someone about what had happened.

“You can’t seriously tell me you’ve been cooped up in here, beating yourself up over some lowlife criminal who probably deserved everything that was coming to him?”

“I almost killed him Tony.”

“Okay, but you didn’t.”

“You sound just like Wade.” Peter shook his head, the memories of their last conversation still fresh in his mind.

“He’s clearly a smart guy.” Tony stated plainly, and Peter immediately shot him a glare.

“Whether I killed him or not is not the point, it’s the fact that I couldn’t control myself. I have a responsibility to…”

“Yeah, with great power comes great self-loathing, we know the drill kid.” Tony cut him off, the words sounding harsh in his ears.

“You don’t get it.” Peter turned from Tony again, his mind now a haze of hurt and shame.

“Well then explain it to me, because from where I’m sitting it looks very much like you not willing to face your own problems. So you hurt someone? I get it. It feels like shit. But that doesn’t give you license to sit and wallow in your own misery and hurt the people around you even more. Trust me, I know what I’m talking about.”

“Yeah well, it’s not as easy for me as it seems to be for the rest of you.” Peter wanted to defend himself, but he felt the weight of Tony’s words pushing against his resolve.

“Don’t for a second think it’s easy for us Peter, for any of us. But also don’t think I wouldn’t completely destroy anyone who was trying to hurt someone I love. I wouldn’t even think twice.”

“So Wade told you what happened then?” Peter’s chest ached as a subconscious part of him tried to grasp onto the small piece of bond still linking them together.

“The important details, yes. I told him what was going on with the papers, so he explained the situation.” Tony paused for a second. “Do you know what he told me to do Peter?”

Peter didn’t even want to think about what Wade might have said, so he simply shook his head in silence.

“He told me to let them pin it on him. Because no one would think twice about Deadpool doing something like that.” Tony was looking at Peter like he wanted him to understand something deeper, but all Peter felt was more guilt.

“He would do anything for you kid, don’t throw that away. Not all of us get that lucky the first time around.” Peter didn’t miss the tinge of hurt in Tony’s voice.

“I know this isn’t right, but I don’t know what else to do. He won’t let me back in. I’m scared of losing myself Tony, but I’m even more scared of losing him.” He spoke in a small voice, not quite able to meet Tony’s eyes. “I don’t want to just keep taking from him, but I don’t know how to be as strong as he is.”

“Peter, don’t you understand that this is exactly why the two of you are bonded in the first place?” Tony was gentler with his words now.

“I know I joked about the two of you only linking up because it was convenient, but that’s not entirely true. Natural bonds are…they’re like puzzle pieces. Or a lock and a key. You’re two parts of a complete set. It’s impossible for you to take more than the other can give, because you’re meant to provide what the other lacks.” Tony paused here, choosing his words more carefully. “Well no, not lacks exactly, but you’re meant to balance each other out, and help share the burden.” 

Peter could see how hard Tony was trying to make him understand, but it still didn’t sit right with him. 

“And this involves me hurting people to protect the bond?” 

“Of course not. We told you that you needed time to adjust, and that there would be teething problems, but Wade was there to help you, wasn’t he? That’s what his entire being is probably pushing him to do all the time. To ground you, and protect you when you can’t protect yourself, and you’re trying to tell him that he’s wrong for doing it.”

“But it makes me feel so fucking helpless, l didn’t have any control over what I was doing Tony.”

“And what, you think that’s the bonds fault? You don’t think you wouldn’t have done everything in your power to protect him regardless of whether you were bonded or not?”

Peter stopped for a second, knowing that Tony was right. There were no circumstances in the world that would change his need to protect Wade, bond or not.

“But he’s immortal, it wasn’t like the guy could have hurt him anyway.” He tried feebly.

“Peter, you didn’t exactly have time to be logical about the situation. You saw someone trying to hurt the person you love, and you acted. It’s what people do.” Tony put a hand on his shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze.

“It’s not just that though, I feel this terrible possessiveness when it comes to him. And I find it difficult to be away from him whenever he leaves.” He was crushingly aware of the weight of Wade’s absence as he spoke.

Tony was quiet again for a few seconds, and Peter prepared himself for another argument, but the last thing he had expected to hear in reply was a bark of laughter, and his eyes widened in shock as he watched Tony’s face fill with a smile.

“Peter,” He took a breath, stifling down another laugh. “My dear, sweet, confused child. You’re _in love_.”

Peter narrowed his eyes at the laughing man, feeling a swell of anger bubbling up inside him.

“Don’t try to fucking tell me I’m just acting like this because I’m in love.”

“Well the bond certainly doesn’t help, it’s probably amplifying everything you’d normally feel for him by a thousand. It’s definitely not ideal to have a new bond coincide with figuring out you’re in love with someone. But yeah Petey, people do crazy fucking things when they’re in love. _Sing, Muse, of the wrath of Achilles_.” Tony smirked at his final words.

Peter fixed Tony with another look of confusion, and the older man let out another chuckle.

“Achilles literally decimated tons of Trojan soldiers, killed the Crown Prince of Troy, and dragged his body around the city when he found out he’d killed his lover. People have done much worse than punch up some thug for the one they love.” Tony’s smile was now one of warmth.

“That’s a ridiculous example Tony. I’m not a fucking demi-god living in ancient Greece.”

“No, but you are a hero kid. You have a lot of people expecting a lot from you, but you need to remember that at the end of the day those people aren’t going to be there to hold you when you come home hurt and scared from protecting them. You’re important to everyone Pete, but don’t deny yourself having someone who is important to you.”

“I…” Peter didn’t know what to say, because for the first time someone was telling him it was okay to put himself first.

“He needs you too Peter, no matter how much you think you’re taking from him, he’s gaining just as much. But if you keep fighting this you’re just going to end up hurting him and yourself.”

“But he doesn’t want to see me.” Peter felt his chest tighten as he tried to reach out to Wade for the countless time.

“Of course he does, he probably just wanted you to figure out what _you_ wanted first. He would put your needs above his own in a heartbeat.”

“I’ve been a colossal idiot, haven’t I?” Peter finally relented.

Tony’s smile widened. “Not usually, but on this occasion, yes.”

“Jesus.”

“Will be of no help in this case. Unfortunately, you’ll need to fix this one on your own.” Tony slowly lifted himself from the couch and made a move towards the door.

“Tony?” Peter had one more thing he needed to ask, but he didn’t quite know how to do it.

“Mmm?” Tony didn’t turn around, probably sensing the hesitancy in Peter’s voice.

“Was it…was it like this for you and Steve?” Peter couldn’t think of a better way to put it, so he just went straight to the point.

Tony didn’t turn around, but Peter could see the line of his shoulders beginning to tighten.

“It was for me. In the end I didn’t know whether to kill for him, or kill him, it was a mess.”

“I’m sorry.” Peter immediately felt terrible for even bringing it up.

“Don’t be, I’ve told you before I don’t have any feelings towards him anymore, only memories. I do know that there was absolutely nothing on Earth that would have stopped me from protecting him though, bond or not, right until the end.”

Peter’s heart ached for Tony, but his words only served to confirm the fact that there was no way he was going to let the same thing happen to him and Wade.

“Thank you, Tony. For everything.”

“You should go see him.” Tony turned to look at Peter over his shoulder as he reached for the door handle.

“I will.” Peter nodded, his head feeling clearer than it had in days.

“Oh, but take a shower first yeah? You smell terrible.” Tony gave him one last smirk before letting himself out.

“Asshole.” Peter smiled for the first time in ages.

The second Tony was out of the door he snatched his phone from where it had lain ignored on the kitchen counter, and immediately dialled Wade’s number. He hadn’t really expected Wade to pick up, not after everything, so when a tired voice called his name after the first ring he was a little stunned.

“Peter?”

Peter’s brain took a second, but it finally kicked into gear when it realized whose voice it was hearing.

“Wade! I love you.”

“…what?” 

“I said I love you.”

“Peter I know, but what...”

“No, no I mean I _love_ you. I don’t think I understood what that meant until now.” Peter knew he wasn’t explaining himself very well, but he couldn’t seem to get anything sensical to come out of his mouth.

There was silence on the other end of the line, and Peter’s heart began to beat even harder than it had before.

“You’re going to have to help me out here Webs, I have literally no idea what you’re talking about.”

“I just…fuck, can I see you? I need to see you.” Peter tried not to sound too desperate, but he failed miserably.

There was another pause.

“I don’t know if that’s a good idea…” Wade’s words had no real weight behind them, and they seemed sluggish with fatigue.

“I know you told me to figure my shit out and I have. Well I mean, I think I have. I…”

“Okay.” Wade cut him off with a sigh.

“What?”

“I mean okay, you can come over.” Peter had never heard Wade sound so defeated.

“Wade are you okay?”

“I’m fine Peter, don’t worry about me. I’ll see you in a bit yeah?” Wade’s exhausted voice sounded light years away from his normal upbeat tone.

“I’ll be right over.” Peter was already walking to the door.

***

It didn’t take him long at all to reach Wade’s apartment, and while he would have usually just let himself in through the window, he felt like knocking on the door might be more appropriate given the circumstances.

He waited nervously for a few seconds before the door was slowly pulled open to reveal a very dishevelled looking Wade. He looked more tired than Peter had ever seen him, and there was almost no trace of the warmth which usually filled his eyes whenever Peter was around.

“Wade.” Peter felt his heart ache as he looked at the man in front of him, and before he could stop himself, he pushed forward and wrapped his arms around the tense shoulders.

It was strange, touching Wade and not feeling anything flow between them, but he still felt better than he had in days just knowing that his partner was within his grasp.

Wade seemed to relax slightly into his hold, but didn’t move to return the embrace, so eventually Peter let go and stood awkwardly in front of him.

“I missed you.” Peter breathed out, not able to stand the silence.

“I missed you, too.” Wade voice sounded just as drained as it had during the call.

“I’m sorry for bombarding you over the phone like that, I just needed to see you.” Peter flicked his eyes across Wade’s living room, noting that it seemed much colder and emptier than it had before.

“It’s okay, I’m glad you called. We should…let’s sit.” Wade turned to walk toward the couch, but after a few steps he seemed to lose balance, and began to sway dangerously sideways.

Peter was next to him in a second, wrapping an arm around Wade’s waist as he began leading him carefully to the couch.

“Wade?” Peter could hear the panic penetrating his own voice. “Are you okay? What’s going on?”

He gently lowered Wade into the soft cushions of the sofa and positioned himself close beside him. 

“It’s nothing, I’m just a little tired.” Wade attempted a small reassuring smile, but Peter saw right through it.

“Don’t lie to me Wade, you don’t just get ‘a little tired’. This is not nothing.” Peter reached forward to take his hand, but stopped when he saw Wade flinch away from him.

“Leave it alone Peter, it’s my problem to deal with.” Wade’s words were harsh, but his eyes looked almost scared.

“No Wade, it’s not. It’s our problem to deal with. I finally get it and I’m so sorry it took me so long. You don’t have to go through anything alone anymore, and neither do I.” Peter took Wade’s hand despite his hesitance and pressed it to his chest.

“You’ve said that before Petey, why is it any different now?” Wade looked at him almost helplessly.

Peter thought about the words for a second. “I don’t know. I don’t want to promise you that I’ll never get scared again, or screw up, but I do know that losing you would be inconceivable, and I’m so sorry if I ever made you feel like a burden.”

Wade slowly moved his fingers to curl around Peter’s hand and lowered them both so that they were resting on his lap.

“You know I love you Peter, but I can’t hurt you again. I won’t be the one who changes you into something you hate.” 

“You won’t. What happened was bad, but I won’t let it happen again. I’ll get stronger. We’ll get stronger together. Please, just let me back in so I can show you.” Peter pressed forward slightly into Wade’s space, wanting nothing more than to feel him again.

“Peter, I don’t think it’s a good idea right now.” Wade leaned backwards as Peter pressed towards him.

“Please, Wade.” Peter spoke softly, taking Wade’s other hand and trying a hard as he could to reassure him.

Wade looked at him with panicked eyes for a second, trying to pull his hands from Peter’s grip, when suddenly he could feel exhaustion pouring into him from every direction. It was so strong that if he hadn’t been sitting down, he knew his legs wouldn’t have been able to support him, and he took a deep breath as the fatigue slowly took root in his soul. He braced himself against the wave of despair that washed over him, and he felt bile rise in his throat as he was overcome with a sense of hopelessness.

His eyes immediately shot to Wade’s, and he saw a look of guilt there that he hadn’t expected.

“What is this?” Peter tightened his grip on Wade’s hands, looking frantically into the tired eyes in front of him.

“I’m sorry, I couldn’t hold it anymore.”

Peter took a second to comprehend what he was hearing, and when the overwhelming reality of what Wade meant finally set in, he didn’t know how he was ever going to forgive himself.

“This is because of me? Because you were trying to protect me from the bond? It was hurting you that much?” 

Wade didn’t answer, but he didn’t really have to, and Peter felt a crushing guilt rise in his throat, as his eyes began to sting with grief filled tears. He had to fix this, he had to help Wade the way Wade had always helped him.

“I’m so sorry Wade, I didn’t mean any of it. All I’ve done is take from you, so please, let me take this too.” 

Peter focused as hard as he could on gathering up all of the pain, guilt, and exhaustion that was rooted inside of Wade, and drew as much of it into himself as he could. He felt it pass though him, ripping through his defences like a tidal wave, but it didn’t stay. He willed it from himself, knowing that it wasn’t his to carry, and knowing that Wade needed him to be strong this time. He continued to pull until there was nothing left, and he collapsed forward against Wade, panting from his exertion.

It took him a few seconds to regain his bearings, and he braced himself against Wade’s shoulder as he took a few anchoring breathes. When he finally opened his eyes Wade was looking at him in sheer panic, but Peter simply smiled as he realized Wade’s mind was finally unburdened.

“Peter, are you…how did you…?” Wade tripped over his words in shock, and Peter felt the pain beginning to grow again.

“It’s okay, I’m okay.” And it was true, even though Peter didn’t understand how. It was like he’d been able to draw the poison from inside Wade, and spit it out so that neither of them would have to feel it again.

Wade seemed to be searching him for any signs of distress, and Peter was relieved when he saw a soft smile begin to form on his partners lips.

“You’re incredible.” Wade leaned forward and rested his forehead against Peter’s, some of the tension finally leaving his shoulders.

“No, I’m not, I’m an idiot. I thought all I could do is take from you, but maybe that doesn’t always have to be a bad thing.” Peter brought his hand up to cup Wade’s cheek.

“I’m sorry.” Wade breathed out as he leaned into Peter’s touch.

“You have nothing to be sorry for, this is how things are meant to be Wade. We each have a role to play in this relationship, and I’m sorry that it took me so long to figure mine out.” Peter moved forward to close to last inch of space between them, and brushed his lips softly against Wade’s.

He felt a moment of hesitation before Wade returned the movements, and as their mouths moved together Peter felt like he’d finally come home for the first time in weeks. 

“Promise me you’ll never hurt yourself for my sake again.” Peter stilled for a moment as he looked into Wade’s eyes.

“Only if you promise to never take more than you can handle.”

“I promise.” Peter kissed Wade again, knowing there was a slim chance that either of them were going to stick to those promises.

“Are you sure? I’ve heard from many people that I’ve got _a lot_ to give.” Wade gave him a small smirk, and Peter’s heart swelled to see some of the warmth return to his eyes.

“Trust me, I can handle it. I’ve taken on much bigger things before.” 

“I love you.” Wade laughed as he placed another soft kiss on Peter’s forehead.

“I love you too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well there we have it folks, our idiots finally figured it out.
> 
> There is probably only going to be one more chapter and a epilogue after this, but I miiiiiight add one more regular chapter in if the inspiration strikes.
> 
> As always I'd love to hear what you thought!


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Boy oh boy am I sorry this took so long!
> 
> I can only apologise a millions times to everyone who has waited for this chapter, and I really hope you enjoy it!
> 
> I also just want to say thank you so so much to everyone for all the incredible support on this story, I am honestly so blown away by the response.
> 
> Happy reading!

“Peter?” 

A soft whisper from somewhere near Peter’s left ear brought him slowly to the realm of consciousness.

“Mmm?” He hummed in reply, not really ready to open his eyes yet.

“Peter?” The voice persisted, growing a little louder this time.

Peter frowned with his eyes still closed, trying to bury his head further into the pillow to escape the sound.

“PETER!” The voice finally shouted, and Peter was immediately startled into sitting position.

“WHAT?” He shouted back, his bleary eyes focusing in on the source of the disruption perched at the end of the bed.

“Good morning.” Wade smiled at him sweetly, but Peter could clearly see the mischievous glint in his eye.

“You better have a beyond excellent reason for waking me up.” Peter didn’t feel any cause for concern coming from Wade, so he knew that whatever it was, it wasn’t that urgent.

“French press, or hand drip?” Wade scooted a little closer, giving Peter a very serious look.

“Huh?” Peter understood each individual word that was coming out of Wade’s mouth, but as far as his brain was concerned, they had no business being together in one sentence.

“French press, or hand drip?” Wade asked again.

“Ugh Wade. it’s too early for dirty talk. Try again when I’ve had like two hours more sleep.” Peter collapsed back down into the pillows, relishing in the warmth they still held.

Wade let out a loud laugh and flopped down into the blankets beside him.

“They’re coffee brewing methods you moron.” Wade shoved at his shoulder playfully. “Although I would very much like to try the French press method later if you’re up for it.”

Peter rolled his eyes as he shoved Wade back, accepting the fact that he definitely wasn’t going to be getting any more sleep.

“Wade you know I’d just drink instant coffee if left to my own devices, so do whatever you want.”

Wade let out and offended gasp and clutched at his chest dramatically. “You’re lucky you’re cute, I’ve kicked people out of my bed for far less.” 

Peter simply gave him a half-hearted kick in response, and Wade let out a chuckle as he made a move to stand up, but Peter immediately caught him by the arm.

“Stay for a bit, I know you’re still tired.” Peter didn’t want to overstep, but he could still feel echoes of the exhaustion Wade had been bearing over the last few days.

“Hey, no using the bond to secretly determine my physical well-being.” Wade attempted a frown but inched a little closer to Peter as he spoke.

“Okay, well then no using the bond to carry the weight of both our emotional burdens and end up exhausting yourself.” Peter tried to sound firm, but he knew there was nothing but warmth in his voice.

“Touché.” Wade looked at him with wide eyes, seemingly a little lost for words.

“So, we should probably talk about everything right?” Peter could already feel the anxiety between them increasing.

“Probably.” Wade looked nervous, and Peter knew things were serious if they were both agreeing to have a proper grown-up conversation.

The only problem was that neither of them really knew how a proper grown up conversation worked, and so they just lay staring at each other until Wade’s face finally broke into a smile.

“Well, this is going very well so far.”

Peter laughed as he pushed himself into sitting position, leaning against the wall and waiting for Wade to do the same.

“Okay, I’ll go first.” Peter let out a breath, and Wade slowly reached out to place an anchoring hand on his knee.

“So I know we’ve probably made every mistake possible since this whole thing started, and I know that’s mostly because I couldn’t get my head out of my own ass and figure out my feelings, but I just want you to know that nothing was your fault. It uncovered a part of me that I didn’t like seeing, and I guess it was easier to blame the bond, and you, for what I did.”

The grip on his knee slowly tightened as he spoke, and Peter knew that it was taking all of Wade’s willpower not to speak out in protest.

“But I realized that it wasn’t the bond I didn’t understand, it was the fact that I love you so much and I was too stupid to recognize it.”

“Petey that’s not…” Wade tried to cut in, but Peter shook his head.

“I’ve been so selfish, Wade. When we first met I looked down on you because of who you were and what you’d done, and I guess I always thought I held the moral high ground or some bullshit, but really I was just scared. You’ve had so many inconceivable things happen to you, and yet here you are, continuing to fight for what you think is right, and I couldn’t even take a single second out of my comfort zone without collapsing into a heap of self-pity.”

Wade just stared at him with wide eyes, and Peter felt an unexpected surge of anger that definitely wasn’t his own.

“Are you fucking kidding me? Peter…you looked at me when no one else would. At best people just put up with me, and kept me around because it was convenient, but you wanted me to be better. You knew I could be better.” Wade didn’t raise his voice, but Peter could feel the force behind the words.

“You didn’t need me to tell you that Wade, you’ve always been enough.” Peter spoke softly, his eyes never leaving Wade’s.

“Look,” Wade sighed. “All I know is that ever since we bonded all of the other voices in my head have been slowly fading out, and now there’s only you. You keep saying that all you do is take from me, but you’ve taken the bad things too. I know I wouldn’t have been your first choice of partner, but you were always mine.” Wade gently reached out a hand to brush against Peter’s cheek.

“You are my first choice you idiot, you’re my only choice.” Peter caught the scarred hand as it moved across his skin, gripping it tightly with his fingers. “I’m sorry I made you feel like you weren’t.”

They continued to look at each other in silence, and Peter could feel a warmth pulsing from Wade’s fingers into his. There was still some doubt there, and Peter knew it would take a while to make that go away, but for now all he could do was show Wade how much he loved him.

“So…” Wade’s voice sounded slightly heavy as he broke the silence. “I was thinking pancakes for breakfast?”

Peter’s suddenly felt so overwhelmed by emotion that he didn’t even bother to try and hide the tears that sprung to his eyes.

“Wait, no, I mean we don’t have to have pancakes! We could have waffles, or eggs. What ever you like.” Wade eye’s widened in shock as he attempted to soothe Peter’s tears.

Peter’s face broke into a watery smile as he took Wade’s hand, pressing a soft kiss to the rough palm.

“Pancakes are perfect. Everything is perfect.” Peter snuggled closer, burying his face in Wade’s chest and knowing that despite everything, this is exactly where he was supposed to be.

***

About two weeks after their talk Peter returned home to find Wade standing in the centre of his living room, Deadpool suit on, and cake in hand.

“Um, hi?” Peter stopped just in the entrance way, the entire situation giving him a horrible sense of Déjà vu.

“Happy ten days!” Wade bounced excitedly on his heels as Peter set down the stack of books he’d been carrying.

“Ten days?” Peter walked a little closer to the black and red clad man, and finally noticed the decoration on the cake.

_It’s been ten days and we haven’t emotionally injured each other, yay us._

Peter read the words in confusion, but couldn’t help the smile that slowly crept onto his face.

“Seriously, where the hell are you getting these cakes? They’re so specific.” Peter shook his head.

“I told you, I know a guy.” Wade grinned through the fabric of his mask.

"It's ridiculous, I love it." Peter pressed a soft kiss to Wade's masked cheek. “What’s with the get up by the way? You want to go on patrol?” 

“Nah, I just thought it would be easier if I was dressed already before we went to the tower.” Wade shrugged as he moved to the kitchen to set down the cake.

“The tower? Why would we be going to the tower?” Peter frowned in confusion.

“For our meeting with Team PhD. They are so excited we finally agreed to let them monitor how our bond functions..." Wade paused at the confused look on Peter's face. "Wait, Tony didn’t call you?”

“No?”

Almost instantly Wade let out the most excited gasp Peter had ever heard.

“He called me first…Iron Dad called me first! Petey, do you know what that means?” Wade almost dropped the cake in his excitement.

“Ummm, he’s lost all sense of reason?” Peter tried to joke, but he understood how important this must be for Wade.

“I have the father’s approval. Now I can finally ask for your hand in marriage.” Wade clasped Peter’s hand dramatically and began bending down on one knee.

“Okay, okay, let’s not get ahead of ourselves here. How about check-ups first, and marriage later?” Peter couldn’t help but smile as his face began to match the colour of Wade's suit.

“Why Peter, are you accepting my proposal?” Wade asked ever so innocently, straightening back up to face him.

“Asshole. Just cut me some cake.” 

Wade just let out a loud laugh before heading off to find a knife.

Once they’d settled on the couch with their plates Peter suddenly realised something he hadn’t noticed before. He’d been so surprised by the cake and the Tony-related news, that he’d almost pushed aside the fact that he hadn’t known Wade was in his house before he got there. And what was even more surprising was that it didn’t bother him.

His face broke into a massive smile, and he hurriedly tried to swallow his cake so he could tell Wade about his realisation.

This unfortunately ended in him choking on a mouthful of death by chocolate, and showering his partner with a cascade of cake crumbs.

“Thanks for that Petey, but I do have my own slice you know.” Wade laughed as he patted Peter firmly on the back.

“I’m okay!” Peter coughed out, finally managing to catch his breath.

“Good, or this cake really would live up to its name.” Wade smiled as he brushed some crumbs from his lap.

“No, I mean I’m okay! You restricted the bond so you could sneak in here and surprise me, and I’m okay. I don’t feel all weird and needy like I did before.” Peter was practically beaming and laughed at the surprised look on Wade’s face.

“Peter, that’s…” Wade leaned forward slowly to brush some cake from Peter’s cheek, and he immediately seized the opportunity to pull him in for a kiss.

Wade tasted like chocolate, and icing, and home, and Peter didn’t know if it was possible to feel any more love for another person.

“Ever since that night when I did…whatever the hell I did, I’ve felt different. I think I finally understood what I know you’ve been trying to tell me this whole time, and I’m sorry it took me so long. I thought I could only take from you, but maybe that’s what I’m meant to do. If I can be the one to take away all the pain and fear and darkness, if that’s my role in this, then I’ll spend the rest of my life figuring out how.” Peter leaned his forehead against Wade’s, not quite wanting to separate just yet.

“Peter.” Wade breathed out.

“I know.” Peter slowly threaded his finger’s through Wade’s and pressed closer, wishing they could just stay like this until the end of time.

***

They eventually had to move though, or Peter knew he’d be receiving an angry phone call from an equally angry Tony. So, with much effort they managed to make their way out of the house and over to Stark Tower.

The last person they expected to be greeted by upon arriving was Bucky Barnes, but the man in question was leaning casually against a wall as they came in, flexing his metal arm in a way that was definitely not terrifying at all.

As Wade and Peter got closer he pushed himself from the wall and straightened up, and Peter could feel Wade begin to slide behind him.

“Oh nice, use me as a human shield.” Peter whispered, trying to keep his face neutral as they walked over to greet the menacing figure.

“Well if it isn’t the cocoa thieves.” Bucky said completely deadpan, and Peter didn’t know whether he was joking or not.

“Uh, yeah, I’m sorry about that Bucky. I mean Mr Barnes. Sir.” Peter scrambled out an apology, and instinctively placed a little more of himself in front of Wade.

Almost instantly Bucky’s face broke into a grin, and he let out a small chuckle.

“I’m just messing with you kid, it’s cool.”

Peter immediately let out a sigh of relief, and this seemed to amuse Bucky even more.

“So I heard you two are here for a check-up right?” Bucky began walking towards the elevator, and nodded for them to follow.

“Yeah, we figured it might be good to let them check things out now that we’re a little more settled.” Peter grabbed Wade’s hand and tugged him towards where Bucky was now waiting.

“That’s good, they did the same for Steve and me when I was deprogrammed. They really helped us understand things a little clearer.” Bucky looked a little pained as he spoke, and Peter couldn’t imagine how difficult things must have been for them.

“I’m sorry.” Peter said quietly, not quite knowing what was appropriate in this situation.

“It’s okay, it’s all in the past now. They actually asked Steve and I to be there so they could have a comparative view of our bonds. It could be pretty interesting.” Bucky gave another small smile and the three of them finally stepped into the elevator.

“You mean we’re going to have a bond-off?” Wade suddenly spoke excitedly, and Peter fixed him with a look of panic.

“This is not a competition Wade. I repeat. Do not challenge Captain America and the Winter Soldier to a ‘bond-off’.” 

Bucky laughed quietly beside them, and Peter looked at him in confusion.

“Actually, that’s why I wanted to meet you two down here. He’d never admit it, but Steve’s a little jealous that we’re not the only natural bond around here anymore. So best not to mention anything about a ‘bond-off’ around him, or you’ll spend the rest of the evening hearing the phrase ‘is this the card you were thinking of’. Bucky shook his head, but Peter could see the warmth in his eyes as he spoke.

“Good to know. Not that we’d have wanted to challenge you in the first place.” Peter meant his words for Bucky, but his eyes were fixed directly on Wade.

“Boring.” Wade folded his arms in a sulk.

At this point they’d finally made it to the top floor, and the three of them exited the elevator and made their way straight to Tony’s lab.

***

“Concentrate Peter. Just clear your mind and focus completely on Wade. What can you feel?” Dr Strange’s voice came softly from next to him, and Peter frowned in concentration.

“I feel…seven.” Peter replied and a loud cheer instantly went out around the room.

Peter opened his eyes to find Wade giving him the biggest grin possible and holding up a seven of spades.

“That’s another point to Spideypool!” Clint added a line to their side of the board which left them neck and neck with Steve and Bucky.

Steve let out a frustrated groan from next to Peter.

“Come on Buck, you’re killing me here, you guessed fourteen last turn. The deck only goes to ten!”

“You’re such a disappointment Barnes.” Sam shook his head from across the room, and Bucky immediately aimed a glare at Wade.

“Goddammit, I told you not to mention a ‘bond-off’ around him.”

“You guys have like a hundred years head start on us, I thought this would be a piece of cake for you.” Wade shrugged, looking far too pleased with himself.

“I refuse to participate in such an abuse of the sanctity of the bond.” Bucky crossed his arms in defiance.

“Sanctity of the bond? Buck, you regularly use our bond to make me fetch you socks when your feet are cold.” Steve’s face softened as he teased the grumpy man.

“Well there go your hopes of ever winning this thing.” Clint laughed as everyone watched Bucky turn red.

“Ah come on, let’s go again! I can do this all day.” Steve threw Wade a challenging look, and Peter knew there was no way this was going to end soon.

He threw Tony an apologetic shrug over his shoulder, and turned back to watch Steve try and guess what colour card Bucky was holding.

“Man, I really wanted to map their neural connections today. I’ve been looking forward to it all week.” Bruce huffed beside Tony, and he couldn’t help but smile.

“Me too, but I’m sure there’s going to be plenty of time for that from now on. They don’t seem to be having any problems.” Tony watched on fondly as Steve guessed red, and the entire room let out a roar of laughter as Bucky held up a black card.

He looked over at Peter who had his hand sneakily wrapped around Wade’s under the table, and his head thrown back in laughter.

“Yeah, they’re going to be just fine.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So there we have it guys, our beautiful idiots are going to be okay :')
> 
> I honestly feel like I went on this journey with them, and they stressed me out!
> 
> There will definitely be a epilogue to follow, and I'm currently toying with plans for a sequel in the future.
> 
> (I'm also thinking about doing a kind of prequel exploring Steve and Bucky's bond, but it'll be so sad for Tony...)
> 
> Anyway I really hope you enjoyed the chapter, and as always I'd love to hear any thoughts you might have! <3


End file.
